hey, so yes im posting again! but im having a mini anxiety attack over this, and have no one else to turn too, and everyone on here is so nice!
so the toys i ordered arrived today, i was very excited and so of course wanted to try them. i started by trying the love honey basics slim smoothie vibe, but when i tried to get it inside me it hurt way too much.
so i went for the butt plug i had bought to use as it was small, its the lovehoney basics purple one, i lubed it up and it hurt but i got it in! touching other areas, i managed to orgasm, it didnt happen easily like normally though.
when i removed it there was a little blood on it but i didnt think anything of it until i went to clean myself up and there was alot more blood! its hard to explain but it was like a heavyish period, along with clots (TMI sorry!)
see, i thought i had broken my hymen a few years ago when i tried a toy once. i know breaking your hymen isnt a big deal, but my head isnt listening.
when i thought i had a few years ago it put me off trying inside toys again until now, when i found lovehoney.
todays blood could be my hymen or it could be my period (i have PCOS, i havent had a period in a year, but my body likes to annoy me) but its 2 hours later and ive stopped bleeding.
the thing is, for whatever reason im worried that ive broken my hymen, i know its stupid because it means nothing, im still a virgin and i always will be until i have sex, however i feel like...i dont know.
also, that small little butt plug bloody hurt! that also worries me, i dont want sex to be something painful always, making me think i should carry on with trying toys, another part doesnt because...god i dont know.
can someone give me peace of mind? as any women struggled like this? anything! my brain is going 100 miles an hour, (i do suffer with anxiety if you hadnt guessed)
thankyou for listening to my ramble