"Accidental" anal insertion

Why? I highly doubt it was an “accident”. Proper anal toys can be so inexpensive these days. Really no need to take such a silly risk. Bet he felt like a right wally during his trip to A&E.


Yeah - in those kind of situations I’d have thought honesty would be the best policy! At least it would give the professionals the best option of finding any real damage!

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Perhaps he is into ‘danger sex’ :rofl: :joy:

He’s lucky he didn’t get explosive diarrhoea! :stuck_out_tongue_winking_eye:


Love the “he was having a clear out” and “solid shot” references…

He was into collecting…at least he got to meet the real bomb squad…

Yes be honest…medical staff have seen it all…


Ha ha ha brilliant!
'He said he put it on the floor then he slipped and fell on it — and it went up his a***.
So he was naked (from the waist down, at least) during his ‘clear out’? He’s not thought his story through now, has he :smiley:

A hospital spokesperson confirmed ‘relevant safety protocols’ were followed
I assume that means he at least lubed up before he ‘fell’ on it.

I think he would have given the medical staff a much needed smile for the day, well done that man!

Ah, gotta love these tales. No shame with wanting to put stuff up your bum, but we have loads of safe toys to do it with these days.

The funniest one I’ve heard is when a man (who regularly cleans his house in the nude apparently) was hoovering up. There was a really catchy song on the radio, so he was dancing and moving around with the hoover. Getting really into the groove, ya know? Not paying attention to his surroundings, he backed up against a door and oops! The door knob went right up his ass and broke off.

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Yeah I remember accidentally inserting a huge dildo in to my rectum!!:smirk::smirk::smirk: I was so embarrassed I couldn’t bring myself to go to A&E!!:grin::grin::grin:

I remember reading once about a guy who had a most unfortunate accident while trying to change his bedding. I read that he tripped and fell and landed upon the knob of the post at the end of his bed and became stuck there.

I recall reading that the Fire Brigade were called to attend and several questions arose one being why was he naked and the other asking why a condom was stretched over the bed post :rofl:


The best ones i read were a Buzz Lightyear toy up the bum…To infinity and beyond!
Also recently an Indian kid shoving a USB cable down his urethra into his bladder where it knotted up. Both stories had X-ray images.

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If you want a good laugh look up the 2 gay guys, a cardboard tube, hamster/gerbil and lighter, it’s a fake story but hilarious!!:rofl::rofl::rofl:

Unless it was fired out of a cannon I don’t think his explanation would matter

Apparently the staff in A&E at most hospitals are well used to tales of people tripping up over bowls of fruit and other common household articles.

My sister is a nurse and has told me similar tales! Falling on a carrot whilst cooking etc!

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Reminds me of a Blackadder episode where they were trying to replace an MP - the previous candidate ‘accidently slit his throat while combing his hair’ - something along those lines!

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Now you’ve reminded me of the Miriam Margolyes one with the turnip! :rofl:


And Baldrick knows what ‘irony’ means - it’s like silvery and goldy…


“A plan so cunning you could pin a tail on it and call it a fox”

A slight change to that blackadder line and you’ve got a sexy evening.


Makes a change from treating covid i suppose.

Doc 1 “Treat anything new today?”

Doc 2 “just covid, it’s so depressing. Presume
your day was the same?”

Doc 1 “well… there was this one guy with some
ammo stuck up his butt”

I’ve heard of a couple of stories with guys using toilet brushes that they ‘slipped on.’ Ouch​:scream: