So long story short my partner and myself decided to dip our toes into a setting of him watching me, and eventually a 3sum… during the encounters i am extremely wet at him watching however i have struggled with dryness between us for a while… it happened once then he got upset i didnt want him and now its happening more and more. Its become a cycle he gets upset and i get worried and happens again…
Hes now convinced that i only want the watching/3sum setting however when we are together i get all the sensations of orgasm etc but no wetness or cum… i want him more than anything and crave sex with him so.i cant explain why it keeps happening…
Is it an arousal issue? I guess that you need to be truthful, and are you only truly aroused when in a threesome setting?
You may have opened Pandora’s box and can’t close it again.
Do you get aroused and wet if you masturbate? If so then it is something in your relationship which is a little off.
Perhaps the salvation would be to stop introducing others into your relationship and reconnect as a couple..
Not sure what else to recommend.
Anxiety both mental and physical can cause dryness. External stresses and unmentioned issues with the threesome and watched and watching sex.
Talk to each other when and in a place where sex isn’t on the table so to speak and most importantly listen to what each is saying and don’t try to fix it in one sitting it takes time.
In the mean time there’s lube, so many different lubes
Flavoured
Standard
Tingle lubes
Delaying lubes
Anal lubes
Don’t stress, sex isn’t meant to be about that but find ways to have fun together and just talk.
I think this is a big part of it, the extra pressure he’s putting on you that you must get wet will definitely be having the opposite effect. It will make it much harder to relax and get into it if, in your head, you’re thinking, “Come on body, perform for him”, rather than just enjoying the sensations.
From the 3some point of view, it might be an idea to put it on the back burner for a while. Not because of the wetness issue but because you both need to be absolutely happy with it for it to work in your relationship. It sounds like he’s getting jealous, which whether he means to or not, is not healthy for your ongoing relationship.
Our bodies work in mysterious ways! Maybe something you could try for fun is syringing a load of synthetic cum lube up your vagina before sex so to him it’ll be like your wet?
He has asked me this and i can honestly say i absolutely get turned on by him… occassionally i dont get the dryness with him however when i do he claims its not as much…
I’m sorry to hear this, it sounds like a tricky situation!
I do think this happens for a lot of women though, we do just go through some periods of vaginal dryness - it’s nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed about! If you’re worried about it I do suggest checking it out with a doctor, but in the meantime lube is your best friend. Regarding your partner, maybe try sitting him down and explaining how you’re feeling? Him hearing that you’re still really into him and that the dryness isn’t a reflection of how much you want him might make him feel a bit more relaxed.
Hope this helps lovely, keep us posted about how things go between you two!
I struggle with dryness. I can be so horny, so turned on and so, so dry and it really used to upset me. I think mine is age I am only 40 but peri-menopause isn’t fun.
We always have a bottle of lube with us and I was advised by GP to try vagisil pro-hydrate to help with dryness In general.
