Hi Lola, (nice name)
Try not to worry if the first few times are not earth shattering. It's all about taking small steps, trying things out and changing pace. Take time and if it doesn't feel good don't do it. I've listed a few thoughts on things I hope you find useful when it comes to those early days.
Whenever you're doing something in the bedroom, ask yourself: are you doing this because you feel it's what you're 'meant' to do? Or because it's is the so called 'proper' way? In fact, any other reason that relates to pleasing someone else but not yourself. As with all the good things in life, sex is one of those things you do when it enhances the experience and feels right, deep in your gut.
I was talking about wine with someone recently. It's fabulous but I never ever touch it unless *I* am feeling fabulous and it's something to celebrate the moment with. To add something. Just like with sex, it's easy to drink for the wrong reasons . When you do it for the right ones you won't feel like hell the morning after .
You sound pretty sure in your mind of what you like and dislike so I hope you communicate this with your partner. Don't wait for a man to take control. Put your foot down and say how you need it to be. If something's your first time, say so. If you're giving a bowjob, look up and ask how it's going up there? Does he like it faster? Wetter? Upside down? If he's a good lover, he'll let you know and make it sexy at the same time.
Don't be afraid to be explicit. If he's got his head between your legs then now is not the time to be coy.
Your partner may be feeling a btit lost too! He may never have given a woman an orgasm and to hear a woman telling him what's working would be very appreciated!
Having great sex is like any interpersonal activity. Conversations, business deals, whatever, it's all about communication. Paying attention to the little signals our bodies give and making sure your lover is talking to you. It takes time. Half an hour of foreplay with ten minutes of thrusting won't cut it. This is why it helps (no matter how experienced) that the person you're enjoying is someone you can have a laugh with and is eager to learn as much as you are. If he's not even willing to try he's damaged goods. Drop him and move on.
Take It Slow
I've found that when you're the least experienced in a pairing it's best to be self focused. Don't worry if you're not going at it like a pro at first. Any man will be thankful that you're there and naked and there's a lot to be said for two sexiest things anyone can have: confidence and enthusiasm. If you're giving head and he can tell you want to do this amazing thing for him, he'll pick up on that. Have confidence and you're halfway there.
If it feels like a chore it's best to drop a gear and stick to what feels good for the mean time. Don't set goals like 'tonight I will deepthroat....anal next tuesday!' Just the skill of 'touch-penis-hand' takes time and attention.
I don't think we all need love to have great sex but I do think soul is essential. If you haven't got a connection with someone you may as well be doing your taxes.
From what you're saying you're willing to learn so I hope those things are coming to you.
Your Pleasure and Masturbating.
A great tip I would give from past experience is don't feel that now you've been initiated you have to have full intercourse every time. A whole day dedicated to the art (and that word's not used lightly) of cunnilingus and fellatio is no short fall. Practice makes perfect.
I would also recommend you treat yourself! Lavish yourself with sexual attention. Find what works for you by your own hand and pamper yourself with some LoveHoney goodies! Make your sexuality all about you and take ownership of it. Then you can share this special part of you with someone else.
Do Your Homework
There's no substitute for experience in the field but it's a great thing to read up on what you're doing with a clear head and no sex haze to blur your thinking. This forum alone is a fantastic resource with very helpful members. So too with the LH blog. The search button will bring up some great topics but please start your own threads because everyone's case is personal to them! So don't worry if you're questions are similar to something previously asked. Just make sure you personalise it.
Although her site is glichy as I write this, the sex blogger Violet Blue gives great advice. Her safer sex section is brill and her tips are full of common sense and intelligence.
Tips can only take us so far because everyone's different but they can boost your confidence. I've always loved the mantra 'Flicking sucks, sucking rocks,' (courtesy of Nina Hartley on going down on women)
But the best advice will always be: open your mouth and start talking.
On the flip side, ignore any magazines and such telling you that you should be having an orgasm a certain way or from certain things. You might find that what pushes your buttons with a partner is totally different to when you're going solo. It could even vary lover to lover. If Glamour tells you that you're 'complicated' f*uck 'em. Everyone is, male and female and we all have to work it to make it.
I hope that gives you a few ideas and places to explore ,
PS: good sex is safe sex!
PPS: nice rack.