I was hoping for some suggestions to spice things up in the bedroom, me and my partner have been in a relationship for nearly 15 years now, we are still active in the bedroom, but could be spiced up. We do use toys for her, but nothing really for me, I have said I am open to pegging and exploring my p-spot, but it has always been greeted with a maybe and nothing has happened, I have also asked her if she has any fantasies, but she says no.
If anyone has any advice on what I can say or do, then please help.
I haven’t thought about that, didn’t even know that was a thing, i will try to suggest this, but i fear that she might get annoyed if i suggest this, she isn’t the type to try new things
I’m sorry to hear that, give it a try and see how it goes. It’s good to have open and honest conversations how you both feel and want. They shouldn’t be getting annoyed at you for taking about something, obviously there’s a difference when it’s all the time but that doesn’t seem like the case.
It seems a little biased that she has toys but you don’t. If she isn’t into exploring pegging what is to stop you buying your own toys to explore prostate orgasms?
I have asked her, but when i mention it, it puts her off. I dont ask often, but when i do ask about fantasies, she says she has non and if i do ask about exploring anal toys for me she gets put off and is no longer in the mood to do anything. I am thinking of trying to be more dominant, but we’ve never tried anything like that before, so i wouldnt know where to start
The thing for me is im fairly new to wanting to explore, so not sure what toys to get for myself.
She is quite vanilla in the bedroom, so i bought the toys to use on her, she isnt really dominant in anyway, so if i suggested for her to take the lead i dont think she will be comfortable with that. Im all open to trying any new things in the bedroom, as it has been the same sort of sex and foreplay routine for quite a while now
Why not cuddle up with a lap.top.and look through the webshop at everything and start an open conversation and see what appeals to 1 or both of you and what you are both up for trying
I’m sorry you’re finding so many walls in front of you from her. Talking is the only way you can understand each other’s desires and needs.
Maybe talk to her about how she sees the current situation with regard to your sex life, and if she says she happy you need to gently explain you need more variation and new things. Then rather than telling her what you want perhaps ask her what she might be open to trying. If she is saying 'I don’t know ’ then ask her to think about it and maybe take a look online.
She needs to understand your feelings, and how it’s important for you both to be enjoying a fulfilling sex life.
It might take a little while but perhaps she needs a gentle awakening. x
Members of the forum will be able to advise on prostate toys for the beginner, it is all about not going too big too soon, plenty of lube and taking your time.
Personally I wouldn’t start with a thrusting massager as they tend to be heavier and more likely to fall out.
Thank you everyone for your advice, i will sit down with her and speak about if there is anything that she wants to try. Any other advice would be greatly appreciated
Thank you for the advice, as you said earlier about her being the mistress, i wouldn’t mind that, i am more than happy to try something different, i will be taking everyone’s advice which seems to be just chatting with her and hopefully i won’t get shot down again. I’ll make a new post for any suggestions on male toys
Update, so i spoke to my OH tonight about it and she said she doesnt want to do any of that weird sh*t, shes happy with what we are doing atm and there isnt any fantasies that she wants to try or look into doing
Sounds like your wife is similar to my wife. She’ll bat down any new sex toy discussion, only to have have amazing orgasms with the sex toys she didnt want me to buy.
Trying to work with her behaviour, i try not to shock - no huge dildos or anything and starting small.
We’ve gone from no to dildos to the beaded glass dildo, some medium rabbits, all smaller than me, but she enjoys them despite not wanting them.
Bottom line is, i dont try too much on, and ask her to tell me to stop if the new toy isn’t to her liking. She knows there’s an easy way out.
What works great for my fantasy shy woman are good quality bullet/pebble vibrators (like we-vibe tango x or touch x), amd she loves a good vibrating cock ring in mostly missionary. Love it too, makes for a very intimate sex session, as you need to be balls deep in her squirming, soaking wet pussy, grinding instead of thrusting intil she comes.
Perhaps not as adventurous as you’d want, but it works for us.
I keep the dirty talking light too, but she entertains it - just talking about how i enjoy being in her pussy, and will never fail to let her know im gonna come in her…
After she comes (she’s almost non verbal during sex) i love to ask her permission to come (always granted!!!) - one of the few times she actually says something.
I probably make it sound quite lame, but i love it all. I work with what she likes, and she also indulge me with fairly brutal nipple play (me receiving it).
As for toys for myself, i wear cock rings all the time when we have sex. A nice tight ring will.make your orgasm more intense.
I know she will be totally against the idea of a rimjob, she doesn’t even like giving me a blowjob, i love giving orally to her, but dont know how to get it reciprocated, she does give blowjobs, but they dont last long and being completely honest, arent very good
