My hubby has opened up to me and told me he'd like me to be more sexually dominant. He has a list of things he doesn't want - no oral for me, no anal probing for him unless he explicitly agrees to it beforehand. He's agreed to spanking, so that's something. I don't think he'd like orgasm denial or even edging and he doesn't have much patience for teasing either as when I'm on top he always manages to get his own way and sets the pace - which leaves me perplexed at what I can do when I tie him up.
Has anyone got any ideas of what I can do that won't freak him out too much and will ease him into submission but still have a kinky feel to it?
Well this is a tough one!
Its hard to dominate someone who wont allow you to tease, edge,deny him or do anything to his bum and and the same time not allow you to sit on his face or something either as oral is banned. Hmmm I am perplexed too lol
The whole point is for you to be on control in some way and hes kinda taken most of that away before it begins. I can understand having some hard limits (No bum play) but if he wont allow you to tease or control his orgasm or pleasure in some way then tell you you also cannot receive oral...its tough to think of where to go from that.
All I can think of are tying him up and making him watch you play with yourself (but would that be considered teasing?) You could get him to play with you too I guess. Erm....
lol sorry I will think harder and see if I come up with anything for you
Maybe after tying up you could try any of the following...
Tickling with feather or light touch,
Licking food like icecream, yogurt, choc sauce off his body,
Giving him oral,
Using male masturbating toys on him...
Oo and dressing up to look the part. Hope this helps.
Mrs A. X
why does he not want oral for you ? or is he just saying that i wonder.
tie him up give him a massarge but have him blindfolded then sit on his face, remember he want to be dominated.
oh and spank the hell out of his arse lol as mrs average said get dressed up.
I wouldnt try anything too extreme.
If he's tied up, he cant set the pace.
Thanks everyone for your replies, it is a difficult one! Ice play sounds good, as we've never tried it. Thanks Mrs A! KerbertXela - he's gone off from giving oral :( he did used to do it every time we had sex, but not anymore, I guess I used my quota up!
He does like to be teased, but generally can't stand it for very long and then decides to take the lead and he does his best to set the pace even when tied up lol!
We've got this http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=19809 and whilst is does the job in giving the person a helpless feeling, it moves around a lot under the mattress (don't know if it's because we've got a slatted base) so instead of the restraint coming from the corner or the side of the bed, it normally just comes from the top meaning there's a lot more leaway in movement. I'm definitely going to have to adjust it for when I next use it! I was thinking perhaps I need to purchase something else, so that I can put him in another position and with a bit less 'give'.
I've decided to do a trial of say maybe a month and type out some expectations, not a contract per se, but just something down in writing that lets him know what he's in for and I what I'm expecting from him. However, I don't want to be too heavy with it so will keep it short.
As for an outfit, I've got a black corset so I think I wear that but I do want to get a riding crop mainly for show.
And you know what? I'm naturally shy and self-concious but I'm really enjoying planning all of this, I just hope he appreciates it and doesn't laugh in my face or tell me how ridiculous he thinks it is (ooops! I'm doubting myself again ARRRGGHHH!!!)
He will love it have lots of fun x