Been talking to an ex on Facebook and the conversation became quite flirty talking about sex etc. Now I am thinking about her quite a bit but have no intention of leaving my fiance for her or cheating on her. Just enjoyed the flirt. Am I a bastard for this?
no, not if your not intending to cheat or leave her...and as long as feeling dont grow or come back etc. its only harmless
just be careful that your finace dosent find out!
thanks feel a bit better.
Its weird because I'm thinking about the ex quite a bit but dont find her remotely attractive anymore. Granted she is pretty but not seen her in person for 10 years and during that time she seems to have turned into a girl who goes out every night of the week (think Michelle Heaton in that program last night) and snorting coke. The complete opposite of my fiance and what I like doing. So why am I now thinking of this girl???
I hope the ex isn't reading this! That would be awkward too!
Hi naughty - the harmless flirting isn't really doing anything wrong, though I'm sure you wouldn't like the idea of your fiancee doing that with some other guy would you?
You're probably thinking about her because you're reminiscing about times you had together. However the memory has a funny way of only helping you remember the good times so your view of your ex may be quite rosy! In my experience, my opinion would be to back right off and leave it a while, hopefully you'll find it was just flirting and it won't affect your current relationship.
And agreed with ameri - really hope your fiancee doesn't find out.
I regularly talk to one of my exs about sex. He's my sounding board for some things, and remenising naturally occurs. As long as you know you'll never do anything, I wouldn't worry.
And everyone thinks about their ex from time to time, especially if someones mentioned them or you've got talking. If the relationship was good there'll always be a 'what if' factor, and if it was bad, there'll be a 'why' factor.
Are you saying that I should continue talking to her? We have agreed to stop talking now as it was frying my brain on how much I was thinking about her (and her me from what she says).
I can't help but wonder if this is fate interfering but at the same time love my girlfriend.
Oh I may have misread your post. I assumed you meant you'd been doing it but didn't have feelings for your ex. If you do, stop now.
They're exs for a reason. And you said yourself you don't like who she's turned into. Why give up someone you obviously know is right for you to chase some fantasy that probably won't be the same in real life?
If it's just flirting that's fine, but cybersex, phone sex or meeting up and that's gonna land you in big trouble - and your fiance will find out, us women are a suspicious lot!
PS if you are doing something you feel guilty about as you seem to be, or something you lie to your fiance about... well that's a sign you shouldn't be doing it.
I'm so glad my ex's are all worthless bastards that I never want to talk to again :-) I'll never have this dilema!
its fine as long as the ex knows where she stands...
You dont want to hear this, but I dont think you'd be feeling guilty if you didn't think you were doing something wrong. Also if you are going to marry your fiance and that is presumably because you want to really commit to her, as you say, then you really need to be honest with each other. Dont get me wrong, it's comletely natural for you to talk to an ex but if you're thinking about her as much as you are then you need to work out why that is. are you worried about commiting to one person? i think most people have that fear. Or is this about something you thinks missing from your relashionship now, or perhaps you're worried about how your ex is keeping now that you've moved on?
If you're worrying about this then you need to work out how it is you feel about your ex, but no one else can tell you the answer to that...and i think crayola has a point, you might be chasing an unattainable dream, and that might be to do with not facing up to whats really going on in your life.
I can't speak for you, but if i was in your position i'd be asking myself some serious questions.