atlanta wrote:
Ideally the receptive partner should practice with a dildo before trying a real penis.
Make that several dildos in a range of sizes! Ideally, you'd want to be comfortable stretching yourself to slightly larger than your partner's girth so as to be confident of taking him.
Or so I'd imagine. 
I think anal is one of those things where it's only a big deal when it's the unknown. If you've never done anything with that area before then it's natural to be apprehensive about it, and have concerns about whether it's going to hurt or not, or be messy, etc. It really is best to just take time by yourself with a dildo to get used to it first, once you're fully accustomed to all the ins and outs of it, and can happily enjoy doing it by yourself, then's the time to introduce a partner. By that time it should just seem like a normal part of your sex life, and gone will be the memories of when it felt like a big deal. Most people who partake in it regularly don't consider it to be out of the ordinary.
I think that looking at it from a different perspective, it can depend on how seriously you take sex. If you're quite relaxed about the whole affair and just see it all as a simple fun act, without any extra baggage, then you can treat it quite flippantly - I remember a Sex and the City character shrugging it off by saying "a hole's a hole!" If on the other hand you treat sex with a bit more importance, then anal can become a big deal, for example amongst gay people many consider that anal is the most intimate act, by physically letting someone inside your body, so it can take on another layer of importance beyond the simple routine acts of oral sex and mutual masturbation, which one may indulge in more indiscriminately.
tried it with my wife a couple of weeks ago but didnt work out well.Plenty of lube etc on her..took it slowly but still hurt.i used my finger instead while having "normal sex" and she gor a thrill from that.
yes it dus a littal stay open not a lot but the placher is a lot more then haveing it normal lolfor me to have anol macks me fill so graaat
The way I see it...
It is if you dont like it...
It isn't if you like it...
Like anything else in life ! but fuck I do wish every woman liked it !
I love anal and I think my OH does too but when I initiate it with some anal foreplay he always goes for vaginal sex. I'm offering it but I dont want to make him. How can I let him know that i want anal without outrightly asking for it?
advice please
RedDevil wrote:
I love anal and I think my OH does too but when I initiate it with some anal foreplay he always goes for vaginal sex. I'm offering it but I dont want to make him. How can I let him know that i want anal without outrightly asking for it?
advice please
Honestly, ask for it!
But, if you want to you could try to make it a little fun (and making it fun will take the pressure off and make it feel available).
Get yourself a postit note, a black felt pen write something like "Deposit in here tonight dear!" with an arrow pointing to your wiggling bottom. Stick it to your cheek or lower back, and let him find it.
Making it cheeky and impossible to miss but in a non-pressured way, rather than secretly hoping he'll get the idea, might be just what's needed.
I know I couldn't refuse the command of a postit note!
But, honestly, just ask him to if it's what you're lusting after. If he doesn't want to, he'll tell you.