Hi all,
I have had some foreplay with fingers and stroking in anal play, and me and my partner have decided we want to go all the way, I'm looking forward to the pleasure but anxious about the pain!
What is the best way to deal with the pain?
thanks guys
Slowly.
Lube.
enjoy it.
This sounds gross... but I'm also concious of the mess... anyways to avoid this?
On a simplistic note, we all know what goes on there.
so don't worry about it.
some people "douche" and others just make sure they've been as it were.
As T&E has said, take it slowly and use plenty of lube!
And there is always a chance of some mess occuring, but the best way to try and avoid this is by going to the toilet at least 30 minutes before you start, and by using an anal douche to clean yourself to be sure.
You may also want to warm up by using anal toys prior to anal sex.
Here is Lovehoney's anal sex guide: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/
You may also want to have a read of this which includes info on cleaning yourself before hand: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/buyers-guide/anal-sex-toys-beginners-guide/
Hope some of that helps :)
Best advice I have take it nice and slow , lube lube lube , start off small and dont get eyes bigger than your belly .
LH have a great buyers guide -http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/sex-toys/anal-sex-toys/
I started off with http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13085
Then got a butt plug so you are used to slipping something inside you - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16053 or you could buy a kit and work your way up - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=3539
I then got a douche - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=952 dead easy to use and simple and makes you clean esp when your using bigger toys as I worked my way up to an anal dildo to get to used to the fact that he will be inside me - http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=16726
Then I brought http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=17072 to get fill what it will be like,
Honestly try it slow if you enjoy it you enjoy it its not for everyone, dont put any pressure on yourself slow and lube it taken me about 6 months to work my way up, just taken it at my own pace.
Yes, it's all about plenty of good lube. You also need to get hot and horny, this will get you into the zone and nice and relaxed. A butt plug can help build you up, try a beginner plug and work your way up. Otherwise, enjoy the hot bliss 
Yes, it's all about plenty of good lube. You also need to get hot and horny, this will get you into the zone and nice and relaxed. A butt plug can help build you up, try a beginner plug and work your way up. Otherwise, enjoy the hot bliss
Couldn't agree more with what everyone has said great advice everyone :) also maybe use an anal beginner kit? I found this one really helped me http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=13504.
I always douche. I'm a bit paranoid about it, to be honest, but I'd rather spend 10 minuts sorting the problem out before it starts. Top tip: douche several times, using not too much water. Don't feel that you have to completely empty the bulb when you're squeezing it - they hold more water than you think which just ends up further up your colon. This can lead to a mess later on when you aren't expecting it. If your partner has a 6" long penis, then you only really need to wash a few inches more than that. Don't go for a full on colonic.
With regards to full on penetration, try it with a toy first. Maybe use somethign like one of the Joel Kaplan prostate toys. Don't rush, whatever you do, and use plenty of lube. The toys I've seen are generally smaller in profile than a penis, so you can get used to the feeling of something being inserted without it stretching your sphincter too much.
The first time he penetrates you, make sure you're the one who is in control, ie, on top. You'll be able to feel your body accomodating him rather more intensely than he will. If you're feeling pain, you're going too far or too fast, or maybe both. Don't feel that you have to achieve full on penetration the first time you try. Also, most of the pain you'll likely feel is your external sphincter expanding. Once you're past that, it gets much easier.
There are numbing sprays and lubes that you might consider trying. Personally, I'd rather feel the pain so I can call a halt to proceedings and figure out what is going wrong. As others have said, use lots of lube. Your body doesn't provide any natural lubrication in this area, so make sure you have plenty added. There are special anal lubes that are thicker than normal ones. Tracy Cox's version is good. Use about twice as much as you think you need, until you get used to things.
Hi Mad-girl - one other thing you may want to use is an anal relaxant - I personally use this one:
http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=28767#customer_reviews
I use it every time I use butt plugs, or do any type of anal play - and it really does make things so much easier. The great thing is that you really don’t loose any sensation at all - and there are no long-term effects. Nothing gets looser, so to speak - it just helps things to relax and not to burn. I have written a review for this which is on that link too. Hope this helps :) xx