How did you go about starting anal play on your male partner? I've bought it up a couple of times with my oh and he's normally said its not something he wants to try. Last time I asked him he said something like "maybe in a few years"! Lol I can't shake the feeling that he doesn't want to try it as he's worried he might like it. What should I do? Nothing? Just leave it and see?
Disclaimer: I obviously do not want to force him to do something he genuinely doesn't want to do but I get the feeling he might want to.
If he says he doesn't want to, I'd just leave it. Because if there was something I didn't wanna do I would just get embarrassed/annoyed at someone bringing it up.
Are you guys open about trying stuff/fantasies etc? If you're open about it all and don't judge any of it then if he says no he probably means it. If you aren't open about all your kinks/likes etc then he may just be saying it. If you like anal play you could just tell him how great it is, suggest he try it in his own time maybe?
My man says a staunch no to anal play or even me touching his bum grabbing it etc, no idea why but I just take what he says at face value :) over time who knows he might fancy it but ill leave it totally up to him! xx
From a male point of view I've always fantasied about having anal sex with my wife but I am totally against anything going into mine even if she jokes with her finger I get all angry . so maybe talk to your OH and see what he thinks about it . Everyone's different
From the other viewpoint of being the male, I used to indulge in solo anal play as the OH never seemed that interested in it, either on her or on me.
Slowly over the years I have worked on her to the stage where she is quite into it, both ways. But it did take time and lots of chat and encouragement, there are still things i do to her , like rimming which she won't do to me except on special occassions.
Personally I have no issue with anal play but a lot of men have the belief that 'if I enjoy anal play that makes me gay', a belief which is totally wrong, its just another fun area to be explored and enjoyed.
buy him a small begingers anal toy, dont tell him, leave it on the bed.. with a little note . words like,
"this item was burt for you just incase. i will never ask about it or if you have tryed it yet or anything. this item does not exsist if you do not want it to. only if you come to me in your own time and then maybe we can talk. if not, then that is fine. i love you."
im sure you will put it better.... he has it on his own terms then, he could try it, use it and never even tell u if he wishes then... and hopefuly if he see it that way he will feel like he has the freedom to try or not then and also the freedom to tell u or not too..
hey cornish89 id would buy 2 lovehoney bedtime vibrating butt plugs tell him your up for some dp with it as long as he wears his at the same time , the resulting sex and his explosive orgasm will have you shopping for a strap on in no time ,,, im 36 and gutted ive waited this long to try some anal play ...
My OH is totally against it too.. and not even in another few years kinda way.
So much as touch his butt and he jumps a mile lol. Some things are sadly best where they are left. However ;) If you are as keen as me, get him a very small beginners butt plug for a gift and leave him a small note with it and leave it at that (- ahh beaten to the gift idea!!) xx
My OH is totally against it too.. and not even in another few years kinda way.
So much as touch his butt and he jumps a mile lol. Some things are sadly best where they are left. However ;) If you are as keen as me, get him a very small beginners butt plug for a gift and leave him a small note with it and leave it at that (- ahh beaten to the gift idea!!) xx
very good advice blackcherry :) some as wat i think. hope cornish89 does this, sound like a realy good idea if we both think it :)
I'am having the same frustration, I'am getting more and more into solo bum fun to the point Where I would love the wife to get involved But she seem's reluctant, she will use her finger when asked (reluctantly) when giving me a hand job
The toys we have don't do it for her either A strapon has been mentioned but that didn't appeal to her either, but yet i'lI do any thing she ask's, a bit one sided don't you think?
I'am having the same frustration, I'am getting more and more into solo bum fun to the point
Where I would love the wife to get involved
But she seem's reluctant, she will use her finger when asked (reluctantly) when giving me
a hand job
The toys we have don't do it for her either
A strapon has been mentioned but that didn't appeal to her either, but yet i'lI do any thing she ask's, a bit one sided don't you think?
im lucky to have my wife with me for bum fun. (infact..bout 40mins ago she had me over the bed...strappon on). ask wat she wants in return and wat turns her off about it. also u can get doulble ended stappons/toys, vibrating strappons/toys and new ant things now she can wear. its a good 1st step that she does use her finger. keep at it