Any tips for first time penetration?

I got my first dildos back in September. Im still a virgin and I havent used it yet. Ive been nervous and honestly a little scared to use them. Ive used my fingers before with no problems, but im just nervous that theres going to pain when I try to insert the toys.

Does anyone have any tips or advice for when I try to use mine?

I got this one:

And this one:

Hi @Night_Rosen welcome to the forum :blush: I can see that you’ve posted the same message in two different places, but it only needs to be in one.

I’ve flagged your duplicate post to be deleted/merged into this one to avoid any confusion :blush:

With regard to your question, I’d recommend taking your time, don’t put pressure on yourself and use lube, I imagine other users will be able to give more advice too.

The forum has a fabulous search option so there might be tips in there too?

Happy foruming (if that’s a word!) :+1:t2:


Hi there @Night_Rosen and welcome to the fam. Can’t provide any relevant advice on your query, but just wanted to welcome you aboard. :slightly_smiling_face:


I’d start with lube and fingers, to get aroused first as all penetration is easier when aroused. When you feel ready lube the toy and slowly start with it. Basically go slow and tease yourself and hold or stop or go slower if you feel pain also add more lube. A bit of discomfort is normal pain is not.


Hi welcome to the forum. As said before take it slowly with lots of lube. Listen to your body if something hurts or doesn’t feel right stop. Take care and have fun.


Hi @Night_Rosen and welcome :smile:

Looks as if you’ve made a couple of good choices for first time penetration. Take it nice and slow , if there’s pain then stop and try to get a little more aroused maybe with some clit play then try again . Basically the more aroused you are the easier it’ll be.

Nervousness can make your body tighten up a bit so it’s important that you’re as relaxed as possible , just go slow and let it happen and don’t be concerned if you need to try a few times .

And I can’t stress enough the importance of lube! You can’t really have too much. Good luck!


I’m in that same position with anal toys, just starting. It took a few attempts with the thinnest of toys and I’m worried about injury but am getting there with patience and persistence, small steps. It’s good to be able to experiment by yourself, you can be much more cautious and tentative, back off and give it a rest. I’ve had a few great sensations so far though, am glad to be trying and also feel very excited to be at the start of something completely new, in that sense also a virgin. :gift_heart:


Welcome @Night_Rosen

As others have said, getting yourself relaxed and aroused are key. Take things slowly with plenty of lube and you’ll get there. Might take time and it might even take a couple of sessions. The more you do it the easier it becomes :+1:


I’d start small, relax yourself, make sure you’re somewhere where you won’t be disturbed, clitoral stimulation can help; as long as you’re using body-safe non-porous toys there should be no pain, but you may feel a little stretched. I would advise using a good-quality water-based lube. :blush:


Definitely invest in lube. It just makes everything better.

I had a lot of pain losing my virginity, blood also. But it was over in a moment. I never expected to hurt as I’d ridden horses and bikes and was very flexible, frequently showing off my ability to do the splits. After the initial shock, though, it was all good.

Good luck and don’t be like me with a home waxing - I’d made the mistake of putting it on both legs instead of doing one at a time. The first leg was so painful I couldn’t bear to do the other and spent the whole evening trying to wash the wax off. Grit your teeth and go for it!

1 Like

Think that those look like excellent beginner options :ok_hand:t2:My main tips would be:

  • Use fingers internally to warm up first
  • Use the vibration on the purple one for external stimulation first around and on your clitoris to help warm up
  • Go slowly, take your time. Don’t try and push it in all at once, feel and respond to your body. Try just the tip first, then a little more each time as and when it feels right to :blush:
  • Use PLENTY of lube (water based). And continue to reapply throughout, particularly when first trying it as it will make the experience much more pleasurable!
  • When you’re first doing it, make sure you’ve got the time to enjoy it and not feel like you need to be rushed (for example 10 minutes before someone is coming home or whatever!)

Go easy on yourself and most importantly… ENJOY! :two_hearts:


Some great tips. Hope you have a wonderful experience.


Whats the difference between a water-based lube and a non water-based one?

When I first started having sex I felt a little pain to begin with. However this soon goes after the skin inside you has been broken and over time comes very pleasurable. Remember if it hurts that much no one would want to have sex. My advice is to relax and enjoy it and use plenty of lube, the more your aroused the easier it is.

There’s some Lovehoney lube guides you might find useful? The main difference is that water-based lubes are suitable for all toy types, whereas oil and silicone ones can only be used with certain materials. The guides go into a bit more detail. :slightly_smiling_face::+1:

Welcome to the forum @Night_Rosen.
I used my first vibrator when I was a virgin. Best thing I ever did!
Get yourself aroused first, partly to get yourself in the mood and partly to encourage natural lubrication. If you already masturbate, do what usually gets you there, or try something like a bullet (clitoral) vibrator.
As others have said, buy a good lube like this one and use lots of it - on yourself and on the toy.
Relax, go slow, and enjoy!
Good luck.