I just CANNOT help myself. I'm voluntarily on the naughty step.
I bumped into a one (or two or three) time casual lover in an awkward situation recently. He then messaged me on Facebook and we've been chatting - turns out he's not a tosser any more, he's really grown up... and lovely... and I still fancy the pants off him. He started to flirt a little... and after several hours of lighthearted banter and overt sexualised compliments I decided to sign off with an erotic scenario based on the bait he'd fed me all evening. What I WANT is for him to ask me out on a date and consider me as a complete human being but instead he will think I am the same old smutbag I was when we used to hook up. Balls. Basically. Tell me I'm not alone.
Aw hun, I don't think you're a 'smutbag' at all (I've never heard that saying before and I'm sorry but it made me giggle)
It's good when you can meet back up with someone from your past and they've grown up. And there's nothing wrong with a little flirting and sexualised banter. This doesn't mean he's going to think you're a smutbag.
But if you're concerned about how he'll perceive you, try and lighten up the sex talk a little, and if you do have a date with him then I wouldn't sleep with him.
It's entirely upto you and what you want to happen with him tbh.
And no you're not alone, I think we all have a little joke and a play about sometimes. There's nothing wrong with that.
Awww thanks FA that makes me feel a bit better. I just had a kind of *wow* moment and he really impressed me but then the chemistry kicked in again. I think you are so right about the next course of action with toning it down and not sleeping with him. I might have to take drastic negating action and not do my bikini line and wear old knickers or something though. Otherwise... might fail. Smutbag always wins :-/
tigerfly wrote:
Awww thanks FA that makes me feel a bit better. I just had a kind of *wow* moment and he really impressed me but then the chemistry kicked in again. I think you are so right about the next course of action with toning it down and not sleeping with him. I might have to take drastic negating action and not do my bikini line and wear old knickers or something though. Otherwise... might fail. Smutbag always wins :-/
tigerfly did you never consider talking to him as a woman talking with a grown up man...I am getting on in years but I always consider that a female interlocutor knows what sex is and has doneit...better find out what you have in common first
Gunther, not really sure what you mean by that. I feel like I'm being told off.
You're more than welcome!
LOL @ not do bikini line and wear old knickers!
GL hun!! Hope it all goes the way you want it to. =)
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tigerfly wrote:
Gunther, not really sure what you mean by that. I feel like I'm being told off.
Not at all I was just suggesting that instead of being slutty you may try learning what he is/likes as a man..........but I am no one to talk my wife and I shagged each others brais out on the first date.
I have known him for about 10 years, during which time we have slept together several times, but other things got in the way. So it wouldn't be a First Date.
tigerfly wrote:
I have known him for about 10 years, during which time we have slept together several times, but other things got in the way. So it wouldn't be a First Date.
I was replying to your first post.......read it back and then maybe my reply makes sense...only you really know what is going on.
I don't really understand what the problem is, he knows what you are like and vice versa.
Just because you already know eachother and have history doesn't mean you can't have a 1st date. You're not a couple and it's been a long time since you were in touch, and like you said you've both grown up and changed a lot so almost like 2 different people.
As for asking out on a date why don't you ask him out on a date?
As for flirting and banter I don't see that as smutty but then to me it's quite normal as I encounter it on a day to day basis in line of work I do as I work in a hardware store mainly seeling to trade.
The problem with already knowing him, is you slip into your ways of old of flirting etc, so I think what Gunther is saying (maybe wrong!) is step back, knock the sexy banter on its head and give him a chance to see your other side or "consider me as a complete human being" not just as a sexual encounter.
but I know it's hard as I am a terrible flirt (or rather a good one i suppose) and like Mrs A, work in an environment where it's as common place as breathing! and I tend to slip into cheeky banter far too easily at times.
but why not ask him on a date, make sure there is no option of ending up having a romp, and let him see your other side x