Are you the dominated? Or the dominant?

I tend to be more dominant, but would really enjoy being a sub. My wife hasn’t really expressed an interest in being more dominant, and it isn’t really her personality, but perhaps it’s something we could try with a little more gusto. I think once we finally get around to pegging it might naturally shift the dynamic a bit.

That said, I do enjoy being dominant in the sense of making her cum over and over again with my fingers, tongue, and toys and denying her PIV until she can’t stand to wait any longer. But I’d also really like for her to strap me down and sit on my face and tease/edge me.

1 Like

This test may be up your alley and give you some interesting results: BDSM Personality Quiz. I think there is another thread out there where people have screenshots posted too.

1 Like

I’m both, but OH prefers to sub. I don’t mind :smiling_imp:

I am definitely not the sub. I am the one who initiates and carries out the sexual positions, orders the toys and her lingerie, lights the candles, etc.

I can count on 1 hand in 23 years how many times she took the lead. It used to make me feel unloved and unwanted, now I don’t care as I know she is a little more timid and I just get it done! However, it wasn’t long ago when a blindfold came out and I wasn’t allowed to watch her pour a massage candle on me and perform oral. She knows I love to watch so it was killing me to just lay back and enjoy it…

I am happy to just be with her, to make her happy and still be allowed to try new stuff… I will assume whatever role is needed but tend to be the “giver” in the sexual relationship…

2 Likes

Steve is normally always the dominant one, just the way we like it, but on the odd occasions let’s say if we are role playing laura will sometimes take control for a little while but we always switch back to where we started with steve being dominant, laura prefers to be dominated.

I’m almost always submissive to my wife, but that’s mostly down to the fact she doesn’t like to feel out of control. I’m happy to oblige :grin: but would love to be the one who dominates sometimes too but that won’t be just yet. A lot of work to get to that point I think!

2 Likes

I am generally the dominant but in the last year or so the wife has found her inner dom a little, so we sometimes switch round when she’s feeling it.
I have always felt it’s the sub that has more of the power (at least within in the context of a loving marriage), I only ever ‘make’ her do things that I know she gets off on and vise-versa.

We both quite like a few restraints and blindfolded / gagged. She particularly loves being blindfolded and I get really turned on by being gagged so I was thrilled when she brought up wanting to try domming me last year.

1 Like

I’m so submissive I need to be dominated. Love being tied up and at the mercy of someone else!

2 Likes

My primary feeling is I want to be dominated (name suggests this). Absolutely love the anticipation of a play session with my OH. Being restrained, blindfolded, gagged occasionally and my personal fave being collared and leashed. I feel such a sense of calm internally when that’s happening as well as the obvious arousal.

Conversely, initially because my OH understandably wanted to switch sides we would have sessions of me being the dominant. These surprisingly really excites me during them. I feel as a natural sub I’m able to dominate better. I absolutely love seeing my OH in a maids outfit ready to serve me. She looks so cute with it on.

Both soon to be parents so these play sessions have been very mild and far between and expect that to be the way for a long time but hope we can still make time in appropriate situations.

1 Like

I am definitely the dominate one but there has been on occasion a switch in the power so to speak when the mood comes. Always when she’s feeling it.

Well I was very much a dom, getting extremely turned on giving my girl red bum cheeks ect, but in a very unexpected twist, I find that I absolutely love being beaten! Whether that’s being flogged or receiving deep scratches with pointy things, I honestly love it!
I will say though, I don’t actually feel sub when receiving punishment, just relaxed and not even slightly turned on

2 Likes

I like my wife to wear her dominatrix gear but I’m the one in charge in the bedroom… she’s the boss everywhere else

Im a mostly sub switch. Just struggle to find a domme with the right confidence.

I usually end up being the dominant when partners are curious about bdsm etc

1 Like

I’ve been the domme with guys who talked big about being dominant and really they had no clue. That was so fkn frustrating so I took it out on them and did to them what they were supposed to do to me. It helped me to imagine what it would be like.
Now that I have an actual dominant partner it feels right.

3 Likes

I love to take part in both roles of dominant and dominated. Having to choose one above the other, dominate me please!! It’s more naughty and taboo feeling to me to be outside my life taught expected role of dom. Plus, a woman in charge is sooo sexy.

3 Likes

I can be both, love being dominated, tied up, edged, oral worship, anal play, intact pretty much anything my wife wants to try I’m game for. My wife lets me take the lead a lot so i tend to introduce things.
Always fancies the idea of visiting a dominatrix to take things out of my control to an extent but marriage means that’s just fantasy.

2 Likes

I would say both, my girlfriend likes being tied up, spanked and choked which I love to do to her but then I also love to peed on and pegged.

2 Likes

İ am male full submissive and try to be ready to cuckolded my partner is pure Dom godess

2 Likes

90% dom 10% sub. BDSM isn’t an everyday part of our lives although we both enjoy it but Mrs prefers to be submissive in all our sexual activities which suits me.

She has taken control on the odd occasion which has amused me, she seems to enjoy some pay back when she cuffs me and takes a paddle to my ass or shoving a toy in my butt. Although I dom more I think I give her a lighter touch and having watch demonstrations in clubs would definitely say we are at the lighter end of the Dom/sub scene.

1 Like