Any (s)experts here?
To cut a long story short I have a history of sexual abuse during childhood which has created difficulty as an adult.
My marriage broke down due to my low libido and difficulties around sex.
Just recently I have decided to tackle this once and for all. I have had counselling and am currently talking with a guy who COULD become a "friend with benefits". For various reasons neither of us can commit to a relationship at present - he knows my history and quite honestly we have had some very frank discussions ;-) and has been fantastically supportive actually. On top of that we get on very well and make each other laugh. However, if I do go into this it will be with both eyes open.
Having had arousal difficulties (and being on an antidepressant which makes the problem worse) I have decided to try a vibrator and some lube which is menthol based.
I am just wondering though if after all the years of not bothering with my sexual feelings (I am now 45) that I will struggle to reawaken that side of me. It IS difficult to feel anything much although I can register that the vibrator is pleasent. I rarely masturbate but when I do it's by hand and is okay.
Just wondering what (if any) kind of "friend with benefits" I will be lol. Hence wanting to work on that side of myself a bit before attempting it with anyone else.
I have definite sexual fantasies which help but quite honestly when the libido and arousal thing are at their worst even those do nothing for me.
Am I a lost cause???