A male friend always asks female partners to use a vibrating bullet to stimulate clitoris during penetrative vaginal sex. His reasoning is that while the vagina gives the man pleasure but penetration alone doesn't do much for many women. The clitoris is the big thing for women and that must be stimulated. He insists that this doesn't mean he feels his own performance is inadequate and he is not trying to cover it up.
How would women feel about being asked to stimulate their clitoris in this way by a new partner while he does his thing in their vagina? Would you find it a bit weird and feel that the man is not up to the job?
It's nice that he's considering his women but if it's a new relationship the excitment and freshness of it all should be enough. I think i'd be a bit weirded out if it was like a first time encounter and he whipped a bullet out
I don't think it's any reflection on his adequacy as a lover - including some toys isn't a reflection on a partner's prowess. Like the two above have said, it's good that he's thinking about the pleasure he's giving a partner, but I do think it's a bit misguided with someone new. Not all girls are the same, and we won't all want a bullet on our clit all the time! It seems a bit... clinical... to do this as a kind of standardised routine regardless of partner, it doesn't allow for much spontanaiety!
Well, most women can orgasm only by clitoral stimulation, only minority can from just penetration, so some clitoral stimulation is nice. Also some women dont react to just their own fingers strong enough and the partner may not always be in the best position for clitoral stimulation,e.g in the classical missionary position, when he is holding his weight on his arms. some women only need milder stimulation to orgasm, some may take forever and can be very difficult. So I think in a relationship, it is always the best to ask and be honest about each others need. if she needs bullet, then fine! If not, even better for both of them.
Purr-fection wrote:
It's nice that he's considering his women but if it's a new relationship the excitment and freshness of it all should be enough. I think i'd be a bit weirded out if it was like a first time encounter and he whipped a bullet out
Honestly. no. freshness may not be enough for all women. I have been in a relatinship for a year and honestly, I used bullet from the beginning. I need clitoral stimulation to get off and usually stronger one. I can get off during oral sex but when penetrated I either need fingering (takes sometimes forever to get there still and it has to be his fingers, mine are useless, I never reacted to my own touch strongly) or bullet. some women have problems with orgasms and then the freshness is frankly not enough and I am glad some guys do realise this. If you can orgasm easily, good for you, if not, than the guy has to accept that you may need some help, including from sex toys.
Honestly. no. freshness may not be enough for all women. I have been in a relatinship for a year and honestly, I used bullet from the beginning. I need clitoral stimulation to get off and usually stronger one. I can get off during oral sex but when penetrated I either need fingering (takes sometimes forever to get there still and it has to be his fingers, mine are useless, I never reacted to my own touch strongly) or bullet. some women have problems with orgasms and then the freshness is frankly not enough and I am glad some guys do realise this. If you can orgasm easily, good for you, if not, than the guy has to accept that you may need some help, including from sex toys.
I understand some women find it harder than others - but I still think the majority would be a little uncomfortable if the first time getting intimate with someone they bring out a bullet. Maybe once your comfortable if you know that will improve your sex life then definately. I just don't think the first time but whatever tickles your pickle
I too wouldn't want someone to 'tell' me to use one - probably because I'll have brought the Mia along anyway!!
If I wanted to use it I would, if I didn't then I wouldn't....... but I don't think I would think he mustn't be up to the job or be weirded out. I'd perhaps think he was more open minded to other toys in the bedroom!!
There are times I've tried to stimulate my gf's clit while she's been on top. Maybe it's just her, but she doesn't really like it when I'm already inside her.
Honestly. no. freshness may not be enough for all women. I have been in a relatinship for a year and honestly, I used bullet from the beginning. I need clitoral stimulation to get off and usually stronger one. I can get off during oral sex but when penetrated I either need fingering (takes sometimes forever to get there still and it has to be his fingers, mine are useless, I never reacted to my own touch strongly) or bullet. some women have problems with orgasms and then the freshness is frankly not enough and I am glad some guys do realise this. If you can orgasm easily, good for you, if not, than the guy has to accept that you may need some help, including from sex toys.
I understand some women find it harder than others - but I still think the majority would be a little uncomfortable if the first time getting intimate with someone they bring out a bullet. Maybe once your comfortable if you know that will improve your sex life then definately. I just don't think the first time but whatever tickles your pickle
I actually used my vibe the first time I did ask him if he is ok with it, and he was. but we felt rather comfortable with each other. he was not completely all right with sex toys in the beginnings, but then he got used to the fact I am not a girl who orgasms easily and accepted it. But I guess it would depend on how long you know each other, how much you already talked about sex etc...
My main concern would be how many girls used the bullet before me, to be honest. I do use my sex toys with my partner, but then we are sharing body fluids often. But would be vary to use a bullet someone elses pulls out in the beginning of the relationship. I used a new vibe which only I used before so it was different to someone else pulling abullet out.
Need to remember that not all women find it difficult to orgasm through just penetration. I'm always happy to try something and wouldn't be put off by my man asking me, but if he expected me to use one everytime then I would wonder why
I would quite like it, in theory, as I'm quite fond of male authority and can't get off without clitoral stimulation, so someone instructing me to use a vibe is always fun.
However, if this was HIS bullet, that he'd used before on other people...ew ew ew!
you've scared me now lol