So just had a call with the team and we were having the usual general chit chat as one of the guys has got engaged. Anyway the conversation went on about eating in bed and my mind went to sploshing and before I could stop myself I had said it out loud… this resulted in everyone googling it on their mobiles and some rather shocked looks on their faces… they think I am strange already but jeez a little awkward. Think I will leave my mic on mute next time…
What awkward moments have you had?
I’ve used the phrase “don’t knock it until you’ve tried it” a few times when dodgy conversations have happened. Normally it gets a laugh, but some people don’t know whether to take you seriously or to laugh. Just have to front it out.
Haha I love that slightly awkward laugh they have trying to figure out if you are being serious or not 
Luckily haven’t had too many awkward work ones (yet 
). I did refer to myself as the easiest person in the office the other day which brought on two cases of awkward silence and one of amused agreement 
Nice to see a fellow splosher!
Most awkward I had was a friend saying about how they won’t do any butt stuff because of how much think think it hurts. When I proceeded to explain there’s only a little, and if you relax, use enough lube and go slow enough to start there’s none, she got a little sus and started asking how I knew. I just grinned and winked ^^
Edit- should probably add that this is Mr
I once went up behind someone in a supermarket and grabbed their ass and said long time no feel
When they stood up it was a complete stranger and NOT the person I thought it was
Gladly they seen the funny side!!!
This was years ago and I learned from that and never ever repeat that move, in this day and age you could get locked up for that!!!
Lol @Bex84 I can beat that I decided on a night away on work to send my Mrs a text a real detailed one of what I’d like to do lol took my time in composing and made sure I missed absolutely nothing out, once composed I then sent it to my MD clang what a bollock dropping moment , could of crawled up my own ass
that’s brilliant lmao, my OH sent a naughty pic to his manager instead of me pmsl gotta love WhatsApp lol
Thankfully I’ve been lucky when it comes to video conferencing, throughout the summer a kept a t-shirt nearby in case I needed to put the camera on I didn’t want to reveal I was sunbathing outside (still working I should add)
But there have been some funny ones I’ve seen on the news including the woman who went to the toilet forgetting her camera was on 
It’s not dirty, but still awkward - was seated at a table in a pub once and someone had left their pint on it. Was chatting with a friend and forgot it was there, so when a guy came up to us and stretched out his hand towards me, I instinctively shook it… only for him to grab his pint and walk away, as my friend was pissing themself laughing 
Me and a colleague in work were laughing about owning and having sex with rabbits. My other colleague who is by my side was horrified as she thought we meant the fluffy animal kind! 
I don’t think she knows much about the world of sex toys. We explained it, showed her an example of one and she understood then, haha.
@Chosen-one I have done similar. At the gym I saw what I thought was Mr John bending down to pick up his boxing gloves. I gave his bum a nice hard slap and grab. Yep wasn’t him, this was in front of probably 20 people. I knew most people there, reactions ranged from hysterics to disbelief. Mr John thought it was brilliant as I was mortified. Poor guy looked so confused as I tried to explain myself.
Had a truck driver once that was clearly flirting and hitting on my coworker while we unloaded truck. Us inside taking stuff off a belt and him putting the stuff on the belt from inside the truck to better set the stage. We’re talking about him and how hot he is and how he clearly likes my coworker and what he would do to him etc. Eventually the guy pokes his head in and says “I can hear everything your saying” my friend turns bright red and I just chuckle and say ok i’m not bashful to which the guy laughs and heads back to the truck and yells “Your half right I like the both of you”.
I’ve had this so many times in conversations where I’ve started talking about something then people are like… “
how do you know so much about it”
A while back we were in home bargains. Let my son run off a bit then noticed he was acting all cute with a woman who was smiling and having a carry on with him. Then I realized it was a woman I used to madly lust over before getting married. And she knew it, but I could never bring myself to talk to her Heres my 2 year old boy, much better with the ladies than dad could ever be! Was so embarrassed wanted the aisle to swallow me up!
That is class!!! This has to be the winner so far
Mine was I was at my boyfriends but we hid our relationship from the children at that point. Me and his son was discussing height and how I was shorter than his Dad. His Dad had just gone to grab a shower. His little one goes and grabs him and yanks him into the living room “Daddy just stabd next to Jess I wanna see how tall she is!” Boyfriend was STARK NAKED. I was trying si hard not to laugh. Was way more embarrasing for him than me. But oh it was so funny.
This was very awkward, sorry it’s not sexual! We used to get chatting to an elderly couple whilst walking our dogs. One day the husband was telling us he was about to go for a biopsy on a growth on his ear. I replied ’ I hope you have a positive result’ what i actually meant was ‘outcome’ they both mean the same, right?
I hastily apologised and he laughed saying he knew what i meant!
I’m not sure if ‘awkward’ is the right word for this, but anyway…
It’s the late 2000s. My OH and I have been living in London since the 1980s. We’ve loved it, but we’re working towards moving out of the capital to… somewhere. We haven’t quite worked out where yet. OH is from East Yorkshire and has a bit of a yen to go back, so one place we’re considering is Scarborough. We drive up there to do some house-viewing: get a feel for what’s available in our budget.
One of the properties on our list seems unusually good value for the money - almost too good. The estate agent takes us there - well, nearly there: for reasons best known to herself, she parks a fair distance from the house itself and walks us up to it.
As we approach the house, we notice that quite a few people from the rest of the street are out in front of their houses and watching us: they seem to be taking a keen interest in our presence. Well… it’s a quiet street, we figure: any new faces must be news round here.
The owner of the house is a very nice middle-aged lady - very cheerful, full of smiles - and introduces us to her family, which appears to consist entirely of adult daughters, all rather pretty, none of whom particularly look like sisters. Different dads, perhaps… or maybe she adopts?
The house itself is certainly large enough, if a bit run down and shabby, but the decor… it’s atrocious! Every one of the six bedrooms is painted in a different shade of lurid: mostly mixtures of red, purple and black. My immediate conclusion is “Ahh… hippies!”
One useful feature we notice is that every bedroom has its own washbasin, and a couple of them have en-suite shower rooms - very handy for guests! 
On the lookout for any structural issues that might explain the low asking price, I examine the rooms carefully …and notice one oddity: in every bedroom, there is at least one heavy metal ring, bolted into the ceiling joists…
…and finally the penny drops. We are being shown round the local knocking-shop, which - by the look of it - specialises in BDSM. No wonder the locals were interested in our visit: probably keen to know whether we were planning on continuing with business-as-usual!
