Hi. Hope everyone is ok. Just after advice from you lovely people. My girlfriend and me have done light bondage in the past and now want to move it to the next level. We have restraints on the bed and handcuffs. Wondering what else we should try. Also is there any tips or advice on how to be more dominant. Thanks
2 Likes
Hello and welcome. 
I’m afraid bondage isn’t our forte, but Lovehoney have lots of guides you could have a browse of while you wait for some replies? 
-
ElectroSex
- Violet Wand (discontinued)
4 Likes
Thanks. Will do a bit of reading
Blindfolds are great if you haven’t already got one. They allow for added anticipation for the sub (as they can’t see what is about to happen) as well as an increase in sensations and they give the Dom a little breathing space (you can take a minute to think about what you are doing and the sub doesn’t know if you are floundering or pausing for dramatic effect).
From there, it depend what you are your partner like the idea of. I would suggest having a browse around the site and seeing what takes your fancy. I would recommend having a look at the kits. Although many have the underbed restraints and so you might not want to buy the kit, you can look at the rest of the contents for ideas.
I would say not to do too much in one go to start with. Adding loads of new elements can be overwhelming for both parties and take away from the enjoyment.
Personally, I’m a big fan for floggers. They can be used sensually and trailed across the skin (which will increase blood flow to the area and make it more sensitive) or they can be used as an impact toy and you can hit as hard or as soft as you would like.
In terms of being more dominant, it is important to be confident. Like I said above, a blindfold will help as your partner won’t be able to see your face or know if/when you are feeling less confident but otherwise have a bit of a plan for what you might like to do (you can totally vary it once you are playing and you don’t want to have like a script or anything but knowing you are going to do X for a bit, before doing some Y then go back to X before Z etc is helpful). Make sure you have your toys to hand (check they are clean, charged etc as appropriate beforehand) and have a practice with anything unfamiliar/new before you use it on your partner.
3 Likes
Thanks. Alot of helpful things to discuss with girlfriend and try there
Adding some sensation and possibly spanking to the mix by way of a crop or paddle is good. The mention of a blindfold is a good idea and can be very useful to heighten things. Playing with what ways people are cuffed is good too, for example I bought to metal dog choker chains and they easily attach to cuffs to contact ankle to wrist or behind for a hog tie etc.
Like @Calie i’m a big fan of floggers as they can be used in multiple ways and feel like a good spank or soft massage.
Oh and gags especially the dominix open mouth one is great for a beginner because it moves a bit yet adds a extra level to play.
Lastly for being more dom, don’t be afraid to take control. Make her beg for things that feel good and establish punishments a head of time. Like for example sometime when my guy and I play, we’ll establish a no touching certain things or areas and if you do it’s x amount of spanks etc.
2 Likes
We have found - Evie Lupine - on youtube invaluable! For someone so young to be so well versed on the BDSM world guide you through ideas to aftercare. Can’t recommend her highly enough.
4 Likes
Thanks. Am definitely looking into getting a crop or paddle for play​
1 Like
I will definitely check for out. Thanks
2 Likes
Have found Evie. Have to agree she is great
I just want to echo that floggers are a great beginner toy since they can be used to both inflict a fair bit of pain (depending on the flogger material) and be used as a sensation toy by either slowly dragging it across the skin or hitting very gently to almost feel like a hug. So it can still be useful even if you decide to take it up a notch later on rather than sitting there being unused.
Blindfolds are another great one to start with since they are cheap, and they easy to take off if you both need a breather/to check they are ok and enjoying everything.
2 Likes
Thanks. Will definitely add a flogger to my basket on my next order
The most important thing is talking it through. Discuss your fantasies and turn ons, and what you want from a session. It’s important to establish safe words, I always liked green, amber, red because you can use green if you really like something, amber just to slow things down a bit but not stop, and red to fully stop play then and there. This is important when trying new and risky things together.
BDSM is so fun and exciting but can be a bit daunting, so try to not put too much pressure on yourself, try things out and you’ll grow in confidence being dominant as you do it more. For now, try directing your partner with what you want from them, tell them to get on all fours as you spank her and use a vibe, or tell her to lie still as you tease her and then spank her if she moves, that kind of thing. Sensory play is good if you’re not ready for impact play, to try blindfolds and cuffs and use ticklers, wartenburg wheels, cold glass dildos, warm kisses and licks to really make her body come alive, then use vibes to get her off.
Hope that’s some ideas for you, sorry it’s such a dense post of suggestions, but I guess these fantasies are in my own head atm 
Be safe and have fun!
1 Like
Thanks for all those suggestions. We have been talking about it and you have given us a few more ideas to talk about . Thanks again
1 Like
I would say if you’re thinking of introducing some type of gag into your sex life then maybe verbally introduce it (eg “If you’re going to be noisy I’ll have to gag you” or “You’ll have to gag me or else I’ll shout for help”) and see what type of reaction that gets. If you get a positive and interested reaction then introduce a basic gag using items readily available (a tie or handkerchief for example but not the heavy duty duct tape 
).
If you both or one of you enjoy being gagged then look at buying some on LH. My wife is happy being gagged with bondage tape as it’s not as intense or threatening (for the want of a better word), whereas I’m happy with a ball gag.
If you are thinking about being gagged, always think safety, never gag if you’re feeling ill or nauseous or one of you is extremely drunk and always have some safe signal.
And being gagged does make your sex life interesting! Enjoy experimenting!
1 Like
Never thought about a gag. Sounds intriguing. Will discuss with partner. Thanks
1 Like
Just don’t push the topic as gags can be daunting, just gently suggest/introduce one. Good luck.
1 Like
May just suggest as open topic as both are fairly new but open to new ideas. Thanks again
Welcome @Prince_charming_and_cinderella
Bondage can be great fun and something I really enjoy. Best to spend time talking to each other to understand what you both like or want to try. This really gave me the confidence to try new things.
1 Like