Oooo that's a hard one. I have so many female friends and aquaintances that are just super friendly and (for me) can be over affectionate, but it's just part of their personality! And usually nothing sexual in it at all. Then there's the latter, girls who are very much attracted to you, but due to being shy are not kissy, touchy-feely purely from fear of rejection. Unfortunately, I reckon the only way to clarify how they actually feel is to just throw it out there. You sound quite unsure and a bit nervous, so I'm guessing you'd be mortified if you read it wrong (as would I) and said something you couldn't take back? Doesn't need to be a straight out question, you can do it almost "tongue in cheek" and in a group setting so its light hearted. Hope this helps and would love you to post any outcome if and when you feel confident enough to find out for sure. Good luck whatever you decide my love 💋
Oooo that's a hard one. I have so many female friends and aquaintances that are just super friendly and (for me) can be over affectionate, but it's just part of their personality! And usually nothing sexual in it at all. Then there's the latter, girls who are very much attracted to you, but due to being shy are not kissy, touchy-feely purely from fear of rejection. Unfortunately, I reckon the only way to clarify how they actually feel is to just throw it out there. You sound quite unsure and a bit nervous, so I'm guessing you'd be mortified if you read it wrong (as would I) and said something you couldn't take back? Doesn't need to be a straight out question, you can do it almost "tongue in cheek" and in a group setting so its light hearted. Hope this helps and would love you to post any outcome if and when you feel confident enough to find out for sure. Good luck whatever you decide my love 💋
Apologies for double post 🙈
SmokingHotLove wrote:
Oooo that's a hard one. I have so many female friends and aquaintances that are just super friendly and (for me) can be over affectionate, but it's just part of their personality! And usually nothing sexual in it at all. Then there's the latter, girls who are very much attracted to you, but due to being shy are not kissy, touchy-feely purely from fear of rejection. Unfortunately, I reckon the only way to clarify how they actually feel is to just throw it out there. You sound quite unsure and a bit nervous, so I'm guessing you'd be mortified if you read it wrong (as would I) and said something you couldn't take back? Doesn't need to be a straight out question, you can do it almost "tongue in cheek" and in a group setting so its light hearted. Hope this helps and would love you to post any outcome if and when you feel confident enough to find out for sure. Good luck whatever you decide my love 💋
Thanks so much for your thoughts. The woman in question and I work in the same store but sadly never have the opportunity to get into a group setting. So, I have been brave and asked her round for a coffee tonight (as my OH is away with work) - just for a chat and a catch up. I have no idea how it's going to go or how to raise the "bi" question...................
X
Let us know how it goes.
Haha go you! Do you know much about her, background, upbringing and previous sexual relationships? Are you friends on any social network sites? If you are you could have a little nosy to see if there are any signs/clues into her sexual preferences without you having to ask her out right and risk embarrassment for you both!
Personally, I'm like a detective when it comes to needing to know things without having to have the actual conversation 🙈 The more you know in advance, I think the easier and more confident you'll be when expressing your desire for her. I get the impression (apologies if I'm wrong) that this whole scenario is fairly new to you? And would hate for your confidence to be knocked from your 1st experience going wrong. Let me know how coffee goes and remember, if she doesn't feel the same then so what! Keep looking. If she does reciprocate then BOOM! Game on Hun x
SmokingHotLove wrote:
Haha go you! Do you know much about her, background, upbringing and previous sexual relationships? Are you friends on any social network sites? If you are you could have a little nosy to see if there are any signs/clues into her sexual preferences without you having to ask her out right and risk embarrassment for you both!
Personally, I'm like a detective when it comes to needing to know things without having to have the actual conversation 🙈 The more you know in advance, I think the easier and more confident you'll be when expressing your desire for her. I get the impression (apologies if I'm wrong) that this whole scenario is fairly new to you? And would hate for your confidence to be knocked from your 1st experience going wrong. Let me know how coffee goes and remember, if she doesn't feel the same then so what! Keep looking. If she does reciprocate then BOOM! Game on Hun x
Thanks for your lovely reply. Yes, I did make a few discrete enquiries which lead me to believe my friend might have had more than a passing interest in me. However, when she accepted my invitation she did ask if she could get to know me much better and I said yes, and she smiled and kissed me. So when she arrived dressed quite sexily for coffee I knew it was going to go somewhere. My friend is taller, younger and slimmer than me - gorgeous!
After some intial small talk my friend asked if she could make herself more comfortable by taking some clothes off and she invited me to do the same. We sat on the settee and she pulled me close to her and we spent the evening kissing and cuddling until it was time for her to go. Nothing heavy.
We agreed to meet again soon to pick up where we left off. We also agreed that it would go no further than being close friends and having fun.
I am very pleased and relieved it went so well. Thanks for your advice and support. Bi? Yes.
GV XX
That's fantastic GV! I am thrilled for you. Baby steps my love. Like with any new relationship (friend/partner) you need to get to know each other and build up a trust.
You've taken the initiative and I'm so happy it's paid off. You are a woman who clearly knows what she wants and have went for it... Well done you! She sounds amazing (as do you) and I think when you both decide to take it further, you'll both have a ball! Enjoy it and keep me posted Hun. Does Mr GV know yet? I bet he'll think all his christmases have came at once (pardon the pun 😂).
So happy for you and how it's turned out... YAY! High 5 to you lady ✋ x
Goodvibrationz wrote:
SmokingHotLove wrote:
Haha go you! Do you know much about her, background, upbringing and previous sexual relationships? Are you friends on any social network sites? If you are you could have a little nosy to see if there are any signs/clues into her sexual preferences without you having to ask her out right and risk embarrassment for you both!
Personally, I'm like a detective when it comes to needing to know things without having to have the actual conversation 🙈 The more you know in advance, I think the easier and more confident you'll be when expressing your desire for her. I get the impression (apologies if I'm wrong) that this whole scenario is fairly new to you? And would hate for your confidence to be knocked from your 1st experience going wrong. Let me know how coffee goes and remember, if she doesn't feel the same then so what! Keep looking. If she does reciprocate then BOOM! Game on Hun xThanks for your lovely reply. Yes, I did make a few discrete enquiries which lead me to believe my friend might have had more than a passing interest in me. However, when she accepted my invitation she did ask if she could get to know me much better and I said yes, and she smiled and kissed me. So when she arrived dressed quite sexily for coffee I knew it was going to go somewhere. My friend is taller, younger and slimmer than me - gorgeous!
After some intial small talk my friend asked if she could make herself more comfortable by taking some clothes off and she invited me to do the same. We sat on the settee and she pulled me close to her and we spent the evening kissing and cuddling until it was time for her to go. Nothing heavy.
We agreed to meet again soon to pick up where we left off. We also agreed that it would go no further than being close friends and having fun.
I am very pleased and relieved it went so well. Thanks for your advice and support. Bi? Yes.
GV XX
Got to love this, living life to the full and doing what you want to... You will inspire more people that you'll every know. Taking the plunge often opens more doors than we ever can imagine.
Yes there can be a downside, but sometimes a bit of research and faith with a bit of gut instinct thrown in reap rewards that the "but what if's...." seem to drown early on.
SmokingHotLove wrote:
That's fantastic GV! I am thrilled for you. Baby steps my love. Like with any new relationship (friend/partner) you need to get to know each other and build up a trust.
You've taken the initiative and I'm so happy it's paid off. You are a woman who clearly knows what she wants and have went for it... Well done you! She sounds amazing (as do you) and I think when you both decide to take it further, you'll both have a ball! Enjoy it and keep me posted Hun. Does Mr GV know yet? I bet he'll think all his christmases have came at once (pardon the pun 😂).
So happy for you and how it's turned out... YAY! High 5 to you lady ✋ x
Actually I am very shy with low body self esteem - but hey my friend obviously saw something she liked!
Haven't told OH yet......
X
GV. As I have said on a previous thread, you do not need to be shy or have a low esteem of yourself. None of us have prefect bodies but have personalites to overcome that. You have already proved that by your meeting with your friend. Good for you. Just be brave and you will overcome your shyness. Good Luck. XXX
Given the chance(If I wasn't married) I 'think' I would have sex with a guy giving and receiving but could not go as far as kissing his mouth his bit maybe?
chisel wrote:
GV. As I have said on a previous thread, you do not need to be shy or have a low esteem of yourself. None of us have prefect bodies but have personalites to overcome that. You have already proved that by your meeting with your friend. Good for you. Just be brave and you will overcome your shyness. Good Luck. XXX
Thanx! Just to say, my new friend is coming over on Friday evening to meet my OH. Not sure how that is going to work out though as she is gay not bi. Being new to all this and a bit unsure of how these things work I wonder how he will fit in to any future plans.
Anyway so far so good and enjoying the adventure. My friend seems to be a woman who takes the lead and I am very happy to let her. I think she may have done this before!
X
GV. Hope your next meeting with your lady friend goes well. Don't push her too hard and relax. Tell your OH that your friend is gay and that she might not want to play if he is in the room. He might back off and let you two ladies do your thing. Any way Good Luck. XXX
GV regardless of confidence or low esteem, the fact you threw yourself into the unknown and took a chance, tells me that you're way stronger, confident and sure of yourself than you care to think. This is a massive achievement that should boost any negative thoughts you have about yourself!
You're an inspiration for a lot of people in the same situation, so own it lady! If all you say about your "friend" is true... taller, younger, slimmer and she was drawn to you speaks volumes! Imagine if you believed in yourself and loved what you saw in the mirror (clearly what others see in you) how many hotties you'd attract? Personally for me, you can be the most beautiful looking person physically, but if your personality/attitude stinks, then you instantly become really ugly, as personality outshines looks. If a gorgeous looking person has a kind, genuine personality to match their beauty, they become stunning, a stand out in crowd kinda person and very special. You to me sound like the latter of having beauty inside and out, stop wasting time doubting yourself and appreciate your worth! Love your attitude, just add a wee bit of sass and you'll get what you want! Fab start to a new venture... keep it up mwa x
After fully reading over your last post Hun I, can I also add that although you're new to this, please do not let her call ALL the shots! Just because you're not experienced, don't let her take advantage of you! She's made it clear her attraction to you, suggested removing clothes, kissing and touching and then thowing in the "just friends" speech? That's quite confusing! Make sure you also participate and say what boundaries you think should go with this situation. I would hate to think she's manipulating you to suit her needs and abusing you're in experience. Just because she's younger and got more experience, doesn't give her the right to play you for her needs. As you know now she's gay and not bi, be careful of any hidden agenda she has. Sorry for putting a dampener on things, but just want you to be aware and prepare for snakes! Some people have wrong intentions and you're too nice for that. Hope I'm wrong, but seems like she's giving mixed signals. Take the initiative and show your interest, but also not a walk over x
Being a Bi guy myself, I have had sexual partners of both sexes in almost equal numbers. I don't totally agree with the earlier post about romantic involvement however. Lots of people have sex with lots of different people with no romance attached to it whatsoever.
Having said that, nearly all the sex I've had with men was just sex and with most of the women I have known it was always deeper, apart from one guy who could easily be considered the Transexual type but without the breast augmentation, (all my male lovers have been on the feminine side), he was unbeleivably pretty and dressed always as a woman and was the only guy I ever felt I actually loved. I think about him every day still now even though we split a long time ago. I would love to meet a real Trans woman one day, maybe she would be the ideal partner for me.
Also being Bi has caused me no end of depression, especially in my earlier years as I never felt truly happy with anyone, there was always the other side calling depending on who I was with at the time. It makes you very sad. I think the only Bi's who are truly happy must be very selfish!
SmokingHotLove wrote:
After fully reading over your last post Hun I, can I also add that although you're new to this, please do not let her call ALL the shots! Just because you're not experienced, don't let her take advantage of you! She's made it clear her attraction to you, suggested removing clothes, kissing and touching and then thowing in the "just friends" speech? That's quite confusing! Make sure you also participate and say what boundaries you think should go with this situation. I would hate to think she's manipulating you to suit her needs and abusing you're in experience. Just because she's younger and got more experience, doesn't give her the right to play you for her needs. As you know now she's gay and not bi, be careful of any hidden agenda she has. Sorry for putting a dampener on things, but just want you to be aware and prepare for snakes! Some people have wrong intentions and you're too nice for that. Hope I'm wrong, but seems like she's giving mixed signals. Take the initiative and show your interest, but also not a walk over x
Thanks SHL - I know exactly what you mean.
Although I am shy (at times) I am quite good at putting boundaries in place and whilst I was happy to be "courted" into our first bi-encounter I have made it quite clear where all this is going on my terms. Plus my OH is on the case too. I am very fond of my new girlfriend but we both know my OH gets priority affections-wise.
And my new GF is a very sweet woman - incredibly attractive - but now I know what she likes and she knows what I like - we have a good understanding.
Last night's meeting went well and I won't bore you with the details but suffice to say we two went much further than last time and my OH was happy to take a back seat although he remained on the scene. And at the end of the evening we were all satisfied in all ways.
I would love to pick up on how our three-way relationship develops in the future but I am unsure which thread to use?
And my confidence has grown really well throughout all this. I think the penny has finally dropped that even at 60 plus I can still be sexy and attractive - certainly my GF and OH say so!
Thanks for all your support LH and SHL & everyone else who has helped me.
GV XX
No thanks needed GV, was merely my personal opinion as well as strong feelings of wanting to protect you! Your honest vulnerability, well, just scared me. Sorry, my motherly instinct kicked in lol.
Proud of you is an under statement and a slight envy of your "go get it" attitude! Your honesty about everything, from your age, lack of confidence and how uncertain you were, to what you've accomplished is mind blowing!
I am hopeful that this experience has proven that any self doubt or insecurities you had before have been blown out the water?!?! You're on fire and a smoking little temptress that sees something she likes, has the confidence to delve into unknown territory and come out on top (pardon the pun).
Youre an inspiration my lovely and good things happen to good people, just remember that!
Create your own thread re your new venture "Success of being bi-curious" for example, we can't wait for your updates ☺️ Much love and respect to you and keep being your fabulous self! mwaaaaaahhh 😘 xx
for me its just a label i love the company and pleasure of both sexes and find in enjoyable nothing wrong with being curious and branching out a little, who knows maybe your partner may enjoy you doing these things, speaking from experience mine does.