Odd question to you all - but recently for reasons i cant go into but ive lost all confidence in my body and my appearance, hate looking at myself in the mirror and cant even bring myself to take a "sexy selfie"
Has anyone got any ideas or tips on how someone can regain confidence in their body?
Its one of those topics Adam whereby you will get many views.
For me I was originally 18st 6 pounds 4 years ago and looked haggared for my age . I was 50 and looked then about 64+ . I had an untidy beard ,unitdy long hair and some even said I looked like Worzel Gumiddge .I was low on confidence and hated the way I looked in a mirror coupled with man boobs .I don't like to use the word ugly as its very subjective but I wasn't then a pretty sight Of course my partner wouldn't critisize me although looking back now I wish she had .
Anyway rolling the clock forwards to the present day, I look like I have had a Gock work over . Gone is the weight . I am currently 12st 3 pounds ,tidy facial hair and shorter but tidy hair style. Most people tend to place me in my early to mid forties which is a great compliment . For looks I have been compared to an older version of Steve Jones with nicer eyes . Gone are my man boobs and gone is my very large tum and replaced with abs. I have been told by many a twinkle as returned in to my eyes . I have been asked out formally by 5 women last year and was chatted up as recent as last Saturday . All taken as compliments .
But has you have probably gastherd my confidence has also returned . But its been hard work but well worth it. .
From your picture you don't look like a bad looking lad to me.
Thank you my friend :) i do find myself looking at other men and thinking "damn, why cant i look like him!" I know i shouldnt but its like an impulse now
If I was you I would ask a honest opinion of your Mrs. But make sure its a honest opinion . OHs tend to say things that make us happy . And then work on that.
I did ask the ladies on here for pointers for dress , for going out in some time ago . The majority came back with a white or blue shirt , jacket/blazer , jeans and proper shoes either brown or black . That is the way I tend to go out for most of the times these days and probably helps with my confidence as well as its rarely I don't get an "eye" from another woman when out. My Mrs has got used to it now but like she says , shes the one that takes me home and not them .
Like yourself I do like rock music and used to play base in a band. Hawkwind are my poison and perhaps before your era although they are still going . But , I don't go out looking like a rocker but it doesn't mean I don't like the music anymore far from it. So it may just be an image thing that needs a little tweeking here and there and that may give you more confidence .
Speaking as a fellow body confidence sufferer I have this to say.
Until you can learn NOT to compare yourself to others this will never go away.
You must learn to accept you are who you are.
Your profile I believe says you are happily married, therefore I can only assume your wife loved you then and still loves you now - surely hers is the most important opinion.
All of the above are easy to say I know, and believe me I still have regular relapses, but getting further apart.
Also, strange as it sounds, I found posting pics on here very liberating as everyone is so kind and supportive.
I hope some of this makes sense and maybe even helps xxx
+1. Totally agree. GV XX
Invest in some dumbell's and do some bicep curls etc, do it from home without having to go to a gym and feel inadequate
Thank you all :-) its all helped alot
That may sound silly but I've gained so much body conmfidence since I started doind this.
When I look at myself in the mirror, I try not to find my flaws, but instead I try to notice aspects that I link about my appearance, ex. "yeah, my eyes are pretty', 'yeah my butt's great', 'yeah, I look fine', 'I like my hair like that', etc. you'll start to notice these more and more and not notice your flaws anymore.
I am female so I am not sure if there is some gender differences here that can affect how we view ourselves vs. social influencers on how we feel... but I think masturbation actually helps body confidence as I touch myself and don't go straight to the "goods" but explore and watch myself often in the mirror like I am a lover to me.
If that is a big leap think about soaking in the tub and using some bath oil to massage your skin and just close your eyes and relax. Also, I think lingerie helps me a LOT. If I am feeling down about my body I like to dress up in something that highlights what i love bout me, my breasts, legs, butt, etc.
There are also times I post photos that while I may look at and wonder "do I look hot?" it is amazing the positive feedback form this community. Now that MOTM is not part of the forum I haven't been as motivated to take pictures of myself but in the past that has been a nice confidence boost =)
I am female so I am not sure if there is some gender differences here that can affect how we view ourselves vs. social influencers on how we feel... but I think masturbation actually helps body confidence as I touch myself and don't go straight to the "goods" but explore and watch myself often in the mirror like I am a lover to me.
If that is a big leap think about soaking in the tub and using some bath oil to massage your skin and just close your eyes and relax. Also, I think lingerie helps me a LOT. If I am feeling down about my body I like to dress up in something that highlights what i love bout me, my breasts, legs, butt, etc.
There are also times I post photos that while I may look at and wonder "do I look hot?" it is amazing the positive feedback form this community. Now that MOTM is not part of the forum I haven't been as motivated to take pictures of myself but in the past that has been a nice confidence boost =)
I agree that MOTM and the community's feedback on my picture has also been so confidence boosting to me
mamz wrote:
I agree that MOTM and the community's feedback on my picture has also been so confidence boosting to me
I feel the same mamz - the feedback is confidence boosting plus when friend requests come through it just makes me feel wanted. I am sure lots of people feel the same too. Long live LH!
GV XX
Nobody is perfect,we all have imperfections that we can do nothing about,so it`s a case of thinking `This is me,take me as i am` i know it`s easier said than done! The thing to bear in mind,is this...personality counts far more than appearance,and nothing is sexier than someone who is comfortable in their own skin.
There is a difference between confidence and acceptance. I don't feel confident so I wouldn't parade around topless at the beach, but I accept myself enough to think "it is what it is" when I am with someone and not let it bother me too much. What helps me is remembering that if you get to the point of being naked with someone they already like you!
I might sound a bit hippy now, but for me body confidence is more a state of mind than how I look. For example I'm much more confident naked than clothed. This might sound crazy but I seem to worry about what I look like in clothe, how they fit ect. But naked it's take it or leave it. I guess I'm lucky OH likes me as I am. I guess I'm trying to say my body confidence comes from accepting what I look like and not worrying what others think.
I think there's reassurance to be found in the knowledge that lots of other people have body confidence issues. I've never been happy with how I look, now I wish I looked the way I did when I first hated my body!!
I find doing things like ; spending time with my own body allows me to gain acceptance of how I am. Masturbation helps massively too! I've been loosing weight and I'm gaining confidence as I'm loosing. I've also been trying to look after my skin more and paying more attention to that aspect of myself, which is helping a lot too.
Body confidence isnt a destination its a journey.
Almost no one thinks they're a 10 all the time you just have to do things you love, accept compliments and say f*ck it.
I was recently at an orgy (already a big step getting naked in front if people) and a photo was taken of me that people loved. The guy with me in the photo asked if he could use it as his profile photo on a kink website which loads of my kinky friends are on. All I could see is my saggy boobs, tummy hanging, bingo wings but I said yeah sure and I've had nothing but praise about it.
MondaySixteenth wrote:
Body confidence isnt a destination its a journey.
Almost no one thinks they're a 10 all the time you just have to do things you love, accept compliments and say f*ck it.
I was recently at an orgy (already a big step getting naked in front if people) and a photo was taken of me that people loved. The guy with me in the photo asked if he could use it as his profile photo on a kink website which loads of my kinky friends are on. All I could see is my saggy boobs, tummy hanging, bingo wings but I said yeah sure and I've had nothing but praise about it.
That's amazing Monday - go you!!!!
Body confidence is a tricky subject . As you guys hae already mentioned very few people have a perfect body .I think women tend to be more critical of themselves than guys.
I think the first thing that needs to be done is to accept your own body and learn to like it. At end of the day if you don't appreciate your own body then how can one expect someoine else to do the same.
Before I lost a lot of weight I did cringe at what I saw in a mirror and decided to do something about it and that was without comparing myself with anyone else .Body confidence issues can affect ones performance in the bedroom. For example sex with us became boring as all I wanted to do was to slip between the sheets . But that was my body confidence holding me back. Women IMO are better served to cope with this as they have an array of lingerie that can cover up their bumps and maintain a degree of confidence.
Sometimes doing what Monday Sixteenth has done can often help. I dare say the worst part of her experince would have been the initial esposure to others but once done its probably given her , I am guessing here lots more confidnce than she had prior to this.I must admit even now I wouldn't have the bottle to do something like that so its great that she feels so good about it and a very big well done.
Going back to my own situation , once I started appreciating my own body more then we became more adventurous in the bed room including many things not done previously such as role playing .
So to start as I have said before is to get the opinions of ones OH first and then take it from there . At end of he day its only their opinion that really counts and nobody elses as it is only your OH is the one who will be seeing you naked from time to time .
Start some exercise or take up a sport if you don't already do so. The endorphins make you feel better.
That's the physical side of things to help your journey which you can address immediately.
Even if you just do 10 pressups a day and 10 squats a day to start with (or however many you can manage)
The emotional side of it is a whole different ball game which others probably know more about than I do... just remember its like a marathon and not a sprint so do it in your own pace.
One thing that worked wonders for me was naturism. Being in an environment where no one actually cares what you look like made the whole 'lack of confidence' pale into insignificance. It's a bold step to take, but one that I took 10 yrs ago and never regretted for one moment