Boyfriend Likes me to send naked photos to his friend? Why?

Hi,

So, basically, I have been seeing my boyfriend on/off for 5 years. And we almost always have sent dirty texts/ emails and photos to each other. For about the last 4yrs he has liked me to text and send photos to his friend (to his phone when his friend was round). And more recently he likes me to email them directly to his friend. He also goes on about how he wants to watch his friend fuck me and have a gangbang, that sort of thing.

I have asked him why because I really don't get what he gets out of me sending photos to his friend. His answer seems to be that I would love it (2 or more men), that it would turn him on. But I still don't get the photos. Especially as in other aspects he is super posesive and jealous and doesn't really like me having male friends etc. I thought it could just be because he likes the kinkiness of it. But I'm sure that can't be enough? I worry that either he gets photo from girls his friend knows, or (since his friend is into swinging/ sex parties- to which he has invited me to and asked me not to tell my boyfriend) I worry my boyfriend goes to them without my knowledge (I asked him about this though and he says he isn't into it.

I could get it if he got anything obvious out of it- money, favours from his friend, anything! haha, but I don't get it!

Can anyone EXPLAIN WHY to me?!!!! Sorry for the long post. :)

Hi,

Thanks for your answer. I know nobody can give me an exact answer but just wondering if maybe other people do it and why because I never understand his reasoning and dont like to go on too much and ruin the mood. Also, from what I gather, him and friend would sit and look at photos and have like a communal wank! I have heard that of stories about boys/ men in all boy boarding schools do so maybe it is a male thing? BUt yes, just looking for possible explanations. :)

He also goes on about how he wants to watch his friend fuck me and have a gangbang, that sort of thing.

One assumes this step one of his plan to pass you round his mates.

Also, from what I gather, him and friend would sit and look at photos and have like a communal wank! I have heard that of stories about boys/ men in all boy boarding schools do so maybe it is a male thing?

I wouldnt know what goes on at boarding schools, but its not statisticaly unusual for teenagers to sit around knocking one out, I think its weird, but I might be in the minority....

Either you are comfortable with your mates friends seeing naked pictures of you, or you arent, no one can answer that for you.

He's told you why... He wants to watch his friend fuck you because it would turn him on. Sending his friend naked pictures is a watered-down version of the same kink. I don't know why you're questioning his motive when he's told you precisely why already...

It sounds like this is related to a cuckolding fetish, but seeing as he wants to be involved, that's not *quite* right. There's a fetish for 'hotwifing' which is more similar to what you've described here -- there's some info on it at the link below, but I suggest you do a bit more research on it to try to understand his kink.

http://www.hotwifing101.com/hotwifing_info.htm

Thanks for your replies. That's really helpful. I will check out those links. I don't mind his friends seeing me- so long as they are trustworthy- which he says they are and everyone is being honest. If it is a genuine thing that some people find a turn on without the need to be involved in swinging/ sex parties etc then I don't mind. I was just worried I am being naive and that there must be more to it. I guess I just would most definitely not be turned on to watch him fuck my friends so maybe I just am not getting this particular kink. Any more suggestions/ info/ first hand experience would be appreciated :) will check out those links now

shellyboo has hit the nail on the head- this does seem related to the cockolding fetish. I enjoy watching my partner webcamming with other girls and mentally get off on the thought of him sleeping with other women.

A word of caution though, while he may LOE the idea of you fucking his mate, when it came down to it, he might actually really not like it. Fantasy and reality are very different.

Thank you. So do you guys really think this hotwifing/ cuckolding thing is what it could be? :) I've just read up about it a bit and I can understand it so much better. Did read somewhere it can be linked to swinging which I guess since I'm not aware it would just be cheating :( This mostly worries me just cos his friend is in to it.

He has been saying he wants me to for years, and I never say never but have also not ever been too keen on fucking his friends! but he did ONCE say he may not actually feel happy about it after. So I'm not sure. He did also (apparently- not sure if it was real or just pretend thrill - but think it was real since his friend spoke of it) get his friend to watch us having sex (I couldn't see him). I suppose that could still work with the above fetish as a way of easing me into it.

DON'T have sex with his friend even if he says he wants you to!!! I feel the same about my oh sometimes I fantasise about him sleeping with another woman but if he really did i no it would kill me :(

It may just be a fantasy thing as you say hes jelous does he say anything to you after u have sent these pics (assuming u have)???

ZombieCpl is talking absolute sense, I love cuckolding porn, and the fantasy of seing my gf fucked by another man turns me on. But that is what it is, a fantasy. Would be horrified if it happend for real, and be careful coz think most boyfriends would react the same? Post pics or videos of yourself or you and OH on safe internet sites (like xhamster) where you can remain safe, and people can comment about you (would be a massive ego boost for both of you) and you don't have to show your face.

With this you should both sit down and have a good talk as has been said fantasy and reality are totally different. However if you both decide this is a route for you both why not try a club it's a great way to see how you both feel as in most good clubs you will be under no pressure to do anything. It would allow you to take things slow see how comfortable you both are with touching and such. Just our thoughts.

I would not send photos of my wife to a friend, if he cares about you and respects you then he wouldn't do that. Do you want a future with this guy?
Yes - he must stop that
No - get rid of him for a guy that really appreciates you.
Good luck.

i dont care if HE thinks his friends are trustworthy, Don't share any photos of yourself that you would not be happy to publish for all the world to see. Once they are sent, there is no retrieving them.

Personally, I think this whole thing is weird. Whether he is showing you off or offering you out, he is treating you like an object and showing a complete lack of respect.

ilikepussy wrote:

I would not send photos of my wife to a friend, if he cares about you and respects you then he wouldn't do that. Do you want a future with this guy?
Yes - he must stop that
No - get rid of him for a guy that really appreciates you.
Good luck.

Couldn't agree more. My opinion, for what its worth is the guy is an arsehole. Don't waste your time on someone who doesn't respect you.

Absolutely: don't let naked pictures of yourself go around, you don't know where they are going to end up.

As to sleeping with your boyfriend's friend, well, only do it if you really want to do it. Since you don't seem keen on it, just don't do it. It's not worth it, particularly for an on/off boyfriend. Find a on/on boyfriend whose kinks you can share, if he has any.

Am I the only one shocked by this. As far as im concerned what consenting adults get up to is their own business. But as the father of a young girl, it concerns me that women are seen as some kind of commodity to be used and exploited.

Is it because porn is so freely available and this is what warps young mens expectations? Am I completely overreacting. I'm only 36 but maybe im more conservative than i would like to admit

I was feeling a similar way at first, but hey, she said she doesn't mind his friends seeing her (which is freaking awesome). I just hope he's not one of these boyfriends who doesn't take no for an answer. I could be wrong, but that's what it's sounding like. Bashful, remember you are allowed to say no, and if he doesn't accept that, he's not worth it.

It sounds like a tricky situation to be honest. As a married male I do fantasies about my OH in gang bangs with groups of men but never friends, and as others have said there is a big difference between fantasy and reality. As I say I like gang bang porn and I do think about it but if I came home to see my OH with a group of men for me it would be the end of the relationship so just be careful with him… it may just be a fantasy.

As for the photos, again you should be very cautious as those photos of you naked could end up anywhere. I know your BF trusts them but still it is a massive risk.

Much of this seems to be focused on you OH, you should try and consider what you would like, do you want to gang bang his friends? Do you want to swing? Do you want to send pictures…. If the answer is no then you should stop it and perhaps end things.

I don’t pretend to know everything so ignore my advice if you feel I am out of line

" it concerns me that women are seen as some kind of commodity to be used and exploited."

If it gets me hot, does it still concern you? I'm an adult, as is the OP, I have my own sexual agency. Objectification is extremely hot for me, within the context of my amazing relationship with a very respectful partner. This paternalistic notion that the OP is being exploited when she's openly consenting to this activity is annoying, to say the least.

I agree with Shellyboo that you can't assume women are being exploited when they are happily consenting to something within the bounds of a trusting relationship.

However what concerns me in your case Bashful is that there seems so much you're unsure of in regards to what your partner wants. He had his friends watch you have sex without your knowledge!
Possibly this is something that you would have allowed and enjoyed but i feel these kinds of fantasies involve an awful lot of trust and respect and if he's already lied about something like that can you really trust where these pictures are going let alone inviting someone else into your bed?

Lou22 wrote:However what concerns me in your case Bashful is that there seems so much you're unsure of in regards to what your partner wants. He had his friends watch you have sex without your knowledge!

Damn, I had forgotten about that. That is not cool. It might have turned you on, but if he's going behind your back doing these things without your consent... if you can't trust him, get out of there. Maybe you just need to talk more. I agree with James, this is too focused on what your BF wants. You should think about what you would like, or what you need, and tell him.

Ah, but what do I know? This is just guess work. I could just be blabbing.