My girlfriend loves it when I make her orgasm by hand (clitoral stimulation), but not so much me going down on her. I want to buy a guide on this to maybe improve things with my technique and see if that helps. I saw http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30865 which cover both this and fellatio. I like the idea of her trying some new things aswell, she is great when it comes that that, but I know theres alot she hasnt tried and it might give her some ideas.
So if I got the book I feel like she might mis understand and think that I think she isnt very good at it. How would you bring up a book of this nature with your partner?
Well, if you are primarily buying it for yourself, to learn tips for giving better oral, tell her that. It sounds like your ultimate goal is to get the book for your own curiosity, so why would you buy a book to help you learn to do something, but tell her you got it for her, for her to learn something? I am assuming that this would just be an added bonus if she did.
If this were me, I would simply buy it for myself, saying I simply want to do some research and get new ideas. Then read it and say "Wow that book was really interesting, I think I got some tips to try out. You should have a read of it. It's good" Then just leave it on the bookshelf and if it is something she fancies reading, she will!
Hope that helps!
I agree with Fluffs.
Just tell her you've got it for yourself, if my husband bought that book just for him, I wouldn't be able to help myself, I would just read it out of interest to see if I can pick up new tips, so maybe she will too :)
Another way to approach it is to buy a book, then both of you read it separately in your own time - with no pressure. Use post-it notes or pencil (pen is not allowed ;-)) to mark anything that you particularly like the idea of and - maybe more importantly - things you would want to rule out.
When one of you has done that, swap! You'll get a great idea of each other's boundaries and desires without it being awkward or you trying to spare each other's feelings and not getting what you really want.
My personal recommendation is this book: http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=26952
Great idea LoveHoney Alice. Hubby and I recently did something similar with the 'Yes, Sir' book. It really works and is often easier than discussing the subject in depth first. Less scary and gives the other person time to formulate a response.
againstleon wrote:
My girlfriend loves it when I make her orgasm by hand (clitoral stimulation), but not so much me going down on her. I want to buy a guide on this to maybe improve things with my technique and see if that helps. I saw http://www.lovehoney.co.uk/product.cfm?p=30865 which cover both this and fellatio. I like the idea of her trying some new things aswell, she is great when it comes that that, but I know theres alot she hasnt tried and it might give her some ideas.
So if I got the book I feel like she might mis understand and think that I think she isnt very good at it. How would you bring up a book of this nature with your partner?
Againstleon bear in mind that it may not be a case of improving your technique but boosting her confidence. She may be worried about how her body looks from that angle, how she tastes, how she smells. Reassuring her (in a sexy way!) about these issues may help her relax into it more.