chipNroll wrote:
Have all your encounters been one night stands by any chance?
You know, I'm thinking the same thing here!
You need a long term relationship. Concentrate on giving your partner oral or manual stimulation then you'll know she's satisfied. Don't rush sex. Just build up very slowly.
TBH my bf is a bit like you with condoms. To be very honest we've been together years so we don't use them anymore. We never solved the problem. (We didn't have vaginal sex for the first year and are both STI free and i was on the pill when we did eventually start)
Good luck
Hiya, it can be tricky with condoms, we never really found any that were a great fit, my oh is only slightly bigger than average but we had a couple split even though we had put them on correctly. I can't really give you any different advice, what the others have said is spot on, buy in bulk from LH, i don't know if you have ordered from here before but they are really discreet, just plain packaging so no one will know what you have ordered, and just practice on your own until you are confident. I'm sure if you asked the person you are with they could give you a hand Good luck x
online is definitely the best bet for buying condoms. Not only do you avoid and embarrasment, but its also cheaper
I would suggested getting a "mixed bag" of condoms. I'm not sure if lovehoney have a condom selection pack for sale at the moment, but if you do a bit of searching around you should be able to find something. The different brands and styles all fit differently, and you may find that trying out a different one will make it easier.
Finally, don't forget that sex is supposed to be fun. If you're having difficulty getting a condom on in a passionate situation, try having a little laugh about it together with your partner to break the tension. You never know, it may either relax you enough get it on, or relax her enough to offer to put it on you. I hear there is a clever move a lady can do with her mouth to put one on, but I've never been fortunate enough to have it tried on me.
I can't imagine a girl refusing to put a condom on her man!
i always have with my partner!
to me as a female i know i can do it better than him so if i put it on i know its on properly ;]
i think you need to just be a bit calmer about it, if it is a girlfriend you have then you shouldn't feel funny about asking her, however if it is one night stands i can understand!
VW x
I had to figure things out at first but soon got it.
Perhaps this is a fear of getting it wrong etc which would explain why you can when you are alone but not with women.
i never do one night stands and currently single at the moment maybe i ll find love here who knows. xx
it seems like its a worry with how the girl thinks about you putting one on.... maybe you could start playing and pop to the loo to put it on... if not, and you try putting it on and go a little soft, carrying on what you were doing to get hard... then try again! Girls don't mind waiting a bit to know its on right - no one wants it coming off inside of her and causing possible pregnancy/STI.
Go back to basics with putting it on - make sure its round the right way and pinching the top... some guys go soft because they know they are being watched by the girl - possibly keep your condoms in your bathroom so you can pop out to get one... or in your wardrobe so you can put it on facing away from her.
if you find it hard to roll it down you, you need bigger girth condoms. You shouldn't feel like they are a struggle to get on and it shouldn't ride up at all. Do you have that problem?
All you can do, is pratice. You now have a connotation between being with a girl, having issues with condoms and going soft - you need to break that thought in your mind to begin to sort the problem. Stay relaxed and if it doesnt go on straight away... stop, chuck that condom away (they are useless to put on after they are unrolled), go back to forplay and try again when your hard! Girls aren't judging you for taking a while to put it on.. they are just bloody happy that you're considerate enough to wanna put one on!!
IF its a long term girlfriend... think about her putting it on you, or using other contraceptions!
x
Admission time; I have had similar problems - they just don't make the damn things the right size for everyone, and unless your penis is dead straight and level the condom will be too tight in some places, too loose in others. And yes, once or twice it has taken so much effort to get to grips with that my cock just gave up and went to sleep. I think it was ashamed of me.
But now it's our primary (only!) form of contraception, so I've had to learn. I still hate them, and I hate breaking off from what we're doing to put one on, but here follows my foolproof method for quick and easy application:
- Get a quality brand - if you are big / uneven you really don't want to be stretching a cheap one on. Durex burst, so do the cheap ones from pub vending machines. I only use Mates. Never a problem.
- Actually, while we're on the subject, I've found the extra thin / sensitive styles to be stretchier due to the thinner rubber. Maybe start practising with them to get the technique down, then progress to something a little more secure?
- Keep it in easy reach. Trips to the bathroom notwithstanding, know where it is and have it in grabbing range. Now is NOT the time to go rummaging around in the bathroom cabinet or your bedside drawer - keep a stash close to hand.
- Pick it up the right way round - the foil packs are always colour coded so you know which way the condom unrolls. Rip open from the perforated edge and discard the foil. Do be careful not to damage the rubber! Of course I can never remember which way the coloured foil faces, and it's usually dark anyway, so...
- Get it the right way round. Hold one side of the roll between finger and thumb. Now with the other finger and thumb grasp the single layer of rubber in the middle and pull slightly. You should feel the roll of rubber wanting to slide across the tip of your thumb and roll out from under your finger. Alternatively, roll between your fingertips - it should want to unroll down to cover your thumb, not up over your finger.
- Get the teat at the end (or the plain tip) pointing the right way, sticking through the middle of the roll. I blow it through, like with a bubble wand ... anyway, pinch that tip and grip it tight!
- Now comes the tough bit - just remember to move one hand at a time and everything should be fine. Place the inside of the pinched tip firmly against the tip of the penis. With the other hand unroll one edge of the rubber as far as is comfortable. You should be able to reach the ridge under the glans easily enough. Holding that side in place you should be able to let go of the tip and roll the other side down as far, or a little further. Now pinch that in place, adjust your initial grip and roll the first side a little further. Repeat until you can wrap you fingers around the shaft and loosely stroke the roll down while holding the top rubber in place. Voila!
All that should take no more than ten seconds with practice - I reckon on two to find it, one to unwrap, one to orientate (I always pick them up back to front!), then about six to fiddle and unroll. If you get it that quick, that smooth, without really thinking about it too much, you won't even have time to lose the erection.
Oh, and for what it's worth I'd say forget the fruit and veg - make condoms part of your masturbation routine until you can put them on yourself without thinking twice. Then you might as well have some solo fun without worrying about clean-up issues for a change!
Also, get used to removing them quickly and cleanly. All the better for getting back for post-coital snuggles!
All the best,
MM
I'm on my phone in work at the moment so can't link but I'm sure LoveHoney sell a condom with a built in cockring at the base which once on the penis could keep it hard! SG
I'm on my phone in work at the moment so can't link but I'm sure LoveHoney sell a condom with a built in cockring at the base which once on the penis could keep it hard! SG
Oops! :-s
You've said it's only around the girl you have trouble with so slow down. No need to put it on right way. just hold it in the packet it for abit or get her to and keep on kissing etc, you can pop it on while she carry on kissing you on you neck, chest or back while you put it on. That way she's not watching you and is too busy kissing you so you wont feel nervious.
I have had this problem one or two times in the past usually when starting a new relationship, because it's only natural to get nervous. But tbh, if the women you're with actually cares about YOU and not just the sex then chances are she won't mind.
I found the most important thing to do is laugh. If it goes down, make a remark about it and make her giggle too, joking tell her she better start all over again or something to lighten the mood as this really will break up the nerves.
It happened to me the first time i had sex with my current girlfriend and she was the first one to make a joke, but just went down and made it hard again, then put the condom on, still giggling. Because of the funny side of it, so to speak, i have not been nervous since and it hasn't happened again since (except the odd brewers drewp after 10 pints).
Sex should be fun for both of you, so don't be afraid to relax and have a little giggle from time to time.....you'll find playful sex is far more enjoyable than thinking 'omg i hope i stay hard and don't cum too soon'
And on a side note, if you do cum too soon, it means you get to do it again! So don't worry!