Can’t always feel a lot during sex

Hi everyone, this might sound weird, at I guess I’m wondering if a) anybody also feels this and b) if you have any suggestions.

I’m in a loving and committed long term relationship. My partner and I really enjoy sex and have it most days. He turns me on a lot, and I enjoy all the non-penetrative stuff we do. I do also really enjoy penetrative sex, the only problem is, is that for 80% of the time, I feel very little during it. Occasionally we will be in a position where he’s hitting the right spot inside, but for most of the time, I can’t feel a whole lot. It’s not it feels bad or anything- it’s I can’t feel that much.

Whilst size isn’t always important, I guess some people might ask in their replies about the size of his penis- he’s a good 7/8 inches and has good girth, so that’s not the issue. I’ve experienced this with every sexual partner, so it’s not just him.

I just wondered what your thoughts were and if you had any advice?

Any ideas would be greatly appreciated- TIA!!

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As @GoGirl12 says, kegel exercises can help as they will give you more control over your muscles. The other thing to try would be to do kegel exercises around his penis while he is in you by basically trying to activity grip his penis.

Too much lubrication can sometimes cause a loss in sensation, so if you are using lube stop. If you get naturally quite wet, maybe reconsider when you do penetration. Either do some penetration earlier or do more non penetrative play to almost use up your lubrication.

Ignoring what I said about not using lube, maybe try one with added sensation, like tingling or warming or ideally an orgasm gel one (but an actual lube not the type you add a small amount to your clitoris). This will increase blood flow to the area and help engorge certain areas, like the g spot and clitoris which will make them bigger and easier to stimulate. Alternatively there are some orgasm gels that are designed for the g spot.

I have friends who really don’t get much from vaginal penetration but get a lot more pleasure from anal. If you are up for trying that, it might be something to consider.

But generally, if you are enjoying your sex life, I wouldn’t worry too much if there is one thing that doesn’t work for you. Providing you aren’t in pain or discomfort, I doubt it is anything to worry about.


People are very different in their responses and sensitivities. My wife loves penetrative sex but rarely if ever orgasms through penetration alone. Judging by many posts on this forum this is quite common too. She always uses a clitoral vibrator to achieve orgasm when I’m inside her and I have no issues with that whatsoever. I love to see and feel her orgasm no matter how she achieves it. Would this be something you and your partner are happy with?


You know the saying size doesn’t matter, it’s what you do with it couldn’t be more true.

Communication is key!
After sex, discuss with your partner the parts and techniques that you enjoyed the most and the bits that weren’t so good.
Once he knows, he should be able to ter what he is doing to find that it works better for both of you.

Sometimes it’s about finding a good rhythm for you both, like there are times when I have to tell hubby to stop what is is doing, slow down and just f*ck me hard but slow.

Another thing, everyone’s Gspot differs on position and can even change so he needs to know exactly where yours is. This can be done with lots of fun and experimenting. Can you easily pleasure yourself internally with toys?

I would suggest getting some sort of sex wedge or pillow which you can place under your bum. This tilts your pelvis upwards which enables his finger and penis to reach the Gspot much more easily :wink:


Hi :wave: Welcome back @Loving_it_xx

I know you probably have tried this but have you tried moving your legs and trying different positions? I am tall and find getting into a position that “works” with a new partner can be challenging.

I could never feel anything in missionary position for about 25 years so avoided it.

New partner came along… holds my legs up and wide and I love him being on top…I’m a sucker for a chest view. Lots of catching up to do…


Are you on any meds?
My partners anti depressants don’t help her in that regard.

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Thank you- I hadn’t considered kegels so think I should give that a go- that’s actually a really good idea xx

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Thank you- some really good ideas there.

I wouldn’t say I get really wet…just the usual amount, although my OH produces lots of precum, like loads (which is hot- but might be something there).

I hadn’t thought about sensational gels either, so I think I’ll give that a go too- I love trying new stuff, so good suggestion!

We do like anal too, we don’t do it often as I get paranoid about “accidents” but that’s a whole other issue!!

I am, I take blood pressure tablets but only recently, which could maybe contribute now but wouldn’t from years ago. I guess I could ask the gp if that’s a known side effect! Thanks for the suggestion that it could be that