Hi all,
So I know everyone likes different things in the bedroom and we all like to do intercourse in different ways but, I have recently gotten into a new relationship and the sex is also fairly good. The only thing is, I’m not sure how to explain this but he likes a very different ‘rythm’ to me. This is not as issue as such but is one of which I’ve never come across before or experienced with anyone else. I can’t describe it, the only best way I can is that he likes to thrust very fast/shallow/short strokes. So much so I don’t seem to be able to match his ‘rythm’ or keep the pace. We tend to get all out of sync with one another as it’s so fast and I don’t want to just be laying there while he does all the work.
I have tried to slow it down etc, by going on top and trying to be more in control which for a while it goes alright but then reverts back. I also in a serious yet light hearted way whilst trying to be respectful, mentioned that I’m struggling to keep up with the pace as I’m also conscious this is obviously what he enjoys most so I wouldn’t want to spoil it for him as well. But to be honest, that’s not the real issue. It’s the fact that it just seems quite bizzare to me and weirds me out a little. Even more so as I’ve never had a guy who has liked to do it this way before. I don’t mind fast and furious by any means but sometimes it’s nice to go at it slow and steady.
It seems to me as though this way is what he likes and the main way for him to get off so to speak. He is also fairly inexperienced (I’m not the most experienced either but get a sense I may be more aware/clued up around sex etc than he is?!) So this may be a contributing factor. I’m not sure how else to approach the subject that it makes me feel odd when he does it without hurting his feelings or pride and damaging his confidence as he can be low on this alot of the time. I also don’t want to be patronising and tell him what/how to do it. He is such a lovely guy in every way I could imagine so I would hate to upset him
Its great that you have joined the forum and i’m sure you will lots of good advice from forum members. I can only suggest talking to him may be suggesting what you like at a time you are not in the bedroom.
Hi @Softkitty30 quick question. Do you enjoy the feeling when he does this?
If so then maybe don’t try to “keep up”. Let him “go for it” so to speak.
In my relationship sometimes I fuck him and other times he fucks me. Getting a rhythm going between you both is nice but not always necessary.
Im sure he won’t think you aren’t participating. Grip his arms, grab his bum etc maybe.
However if its not working for you then you probably need a little chat about how you can both get your needs met.
Hope it all works out, it can take time to work out your own let alone your partners body.
Tie him to the bed and ride him, cow girl 
Tell him your concerns. Being in rhythm isn’t always important. By talking you can find out what you both want or need to make your sex life better. We actually take it in turns to be the dominant one as and when each of us feels the need. Plus sometimes we grind together. Once you are on the same page it elevates you responses to each other.
As with any “issues” discuss discuss then discuss some more otherwise this may become an issue for you ? 
Sounds like if he’s not had much experience then he might be expressing how he sees it in porn videos and thinks that’s how it’s meant to be to give you a good orgasm or something…
I defo agree this is a tricky subject to tackle delicately and so my first thoughts is continue attempting to dominate in the bedroom and take control over the pace of things to show him a whole new way of enjoying pleasure and how good it makes you feel. Kinda like needing to slowly train him to new experiences.
Either that or what I would do is just say whoa Nelly, can we slow up on the thrusting a bit 
I would suggest that he gets more sensation with quick shallow strokes, which will help him to get off but not you.
To slow him down, have him on top and then grab his arse to slow down his tempo, I doubt he will complain having his arse grabbed.
But also as others have said, communication is the key, you need to discuss it else it might generate resentment.
Another idea would be for you to go on top, thereby you can dictate speed and depth, again the eroticism of you riding him will get over any awkwardness or protest.
Good luck.
If you watch porn with him find a scene that is as per you like it, watch it and say how you love to be taken that way, see if he gets the hint.