When my oh decides to finally have sex he does what he needs then goes to sleep. I haven't been able to orgasm since I had my first child. How can I get him to make me cum so I can be happy like him and don't have to do myself?
Hi and welcome to the forums.
We are all sympathetic to your issue and the first thing to understand is you're not alone.
This is why Love honey is here and particularly the forums.
My first suggestion is that you try to increase your communication. I know this is far more easily said than done. However most guys if confronted with them being a bit selfish about sex with a loved one will try to improve or take notice. Even write a letter the old fashioned way if you don't think you can broach it face on.
Secondly take control in the bedroom literarily take matters into hand. Get on top and so oh no you don't its my turn to have some fun. When iam done with you then you can come and not before lol
Ktg24 wrote:
When my oh decides to finally have sex he does what he needs then goes to sleep. I haven't been able to orgasm since I had my first child. How can I get him to make me cum so I can be happy like him and don't have to do myself?
Wow. I feel sorry for you.
One word, communicate.
Thanks for the replies.. I said to him tonight you can't keep turning me on and leaving it at that , you have to finish the job.! He just went on to say he's fed up with work and he's tired all the time. And that he wished he didn't have to go. He also apologised for leaving me turnt on. I usually just rub if I'm not given oral after sex. I do have a vibrator but I've only used it twice I'm getting more and more shy around him with sexual stuff I used to try it on all the time but getting rejected all the time has made me shy.i only use the vibrator when he's not home.
Aw Ktg24, this is really unfair on you. We went through a rough patch of terrible sex. I wont bore you with any details really as there's alot on other threads about our issues.
Sometimes it can be hard to communicate but big well done for giving it a go. Tell him you would like to set aside some time to be together maybe on an evening he has off where he won't be tired. We organise sex, sounds boring to most but he works away and we have kids. It's nice to know we will have sex on a Friday so we spend time thinking about what we would like to do.
When my husband went through a phase of the good old hump and snooze I made sure he worked on me first so I wouldn't be unsatisfied. It did get a bit boring though until we discovered Lovehoney. It has improved our sex life no end!
Ktg24 wrote:
Thanks for the replies.. I said to him tonight you can't keep turning me on and leaving it at that , you have to finish the job.! He just went on to say he's fed up with work and he's tired all the time. And that he wished he didn't have to go. He also apologised for leaving me turnt on. I usually just rub if I'm not given oral after sex. I do have a vibrator but I've only used it twice I'm getting more and more shy around him with sexual stuff I used to try it on all the time but getting rejected all the time has made me shy.i only use the vibrator when he's not home.
Well done that's a great start. You've broached it with him that's the toughest part. Go one the charm offensive and seduce him into doing more for you.
Ktg24 wrote:
Thanks for the replies.. I said to him tonight you can't keep turning me on and leaving it at that , you have to finish the job.! He just went on to say he's fed up with work and he's tired all the time. And that he wished he didn't have to go. He also apologised for leaving me turnt on. I usually just rub if I'm not given oral after sex. I do have a vibrator but I've only used it twice I'm getting more and more shy around him with sexual stuff I used to try it on all the time but getting rejected all the time has made me shy.i only use the vibrator when he's not home.
Sounds like there is a lot of stress going on in his head, with work and tiredness. How about giving him a massage? Communication really is key and you need to tell him you are here for him to talk to regarding any issues he has.
You don't deserve to feel like a blow up doll, and make this clear to him, you are willing to make him cum yet he needs to want to do this for you to. I agree with Alicia too. Bring back the intimacy. No one likes to feel they are just used for sex. Shower together, do things together, anything so that you are spending time with eachother.
I've just received my butterfly strap on vibrator to use during sex so I can orgasm when he does with him being in control of the remote.. Only problem is how do I show him and explain. I've told him I can't orgasm through sex so this is my only option other than my hand 😬 Thanks for all the replies xx
Maybe if you tell him you would orgasm jf he would care instead of you can't at all. That certainly doesn't help if he thinks there's no reason to make an effort anywayKtg24 wrote:
I've just received my butterfly strap on vibrator to use during sex so I can orgasm when he does with him being in control of the remote.. Only problem is how do I show him and explain. I've told him I can't orgasm through sex so this is my only option other than my hand 😬 Thanks for all the replies xx