Change in preferences over time

Over the years, wifey and I continue to broaden our horizons through new toys as well as exploring further into the world of kink and BDSM. We’ve been together for coming up on 19 years, married 16, and have mostly enjoyed the expansion of our preferences, more than any restrictive changes.

My wife specifically remembers, from early in our relationship, trying to provide me some anal stimulation during a blowjob after reading it in a Cosmo article or something, and says I reacted poorly to it. I have no recollection, but she likes to remind me of it anytime I bust out my p-spot vibe or we engage in some pegging… likewise, her experience of anal sex has changed from “I’ll do it, but I don’t care for it” to “I really love the way it feels to be double-penetrated and filled.”

A lot of our changes have just come from getting more comfortable being uncomfortable with new things to see how they might feel - whether that’s anal play, bondage implements, or role playing.


I don’t know if it’s a change in preference or just a new discovery but I binned all my vibes and dildos and only have suction toys now.

Also I used to hate cum on my face but now I’ll literally beg for it


Cock rings, very rarely wear a cock ring or vibrating cock ring. Also OH used to like me to enter anally from behind while standing up. Very rarely do that any more.

For us it’s been adding toys in to the mix, though we are still terribly vanilla at times because the old stuff we used to do still hits.
But we’ve discovered we are both switches, so navigating what we feel like in the moment when it comes to our more kinkier sessions is sometimes a selfish or selfless experience.
Example, (this occasionally happens) he wants to be tied up but so do I. Both desiring a submissive state. We pause.
Do I
A) demand he tie me up and therefore he puts his desire to be tied up aside for me. Making me dominant for making him do it….making him a submissive for doing what I say…. Yet making him dominant because now I am at his mercy
B) do what he says and tie him up and let him have what he wants, putting away my desire, but yet actually satiating my desire because he told me he wants it so I’m actually submitting to his wishes… but feeling dominant because now he is at my mercy.
Before you @ me with “I think you’re overthinking it” I know, I know. We always swiftly figure it out. When I think switch it’s more what state I feel that day, rather than by the second. :joy: But it’s interesting to think about. And I have more examples :joy:


Sounds like a win/win to me. I love both but my preference is always to take care of my OH first so I would nearly always tie her up first. Maybe that’s selfish in itself :thinking: but it’s a turn on for me.

If I come first I will always take care of her O but the longer I can hold back the better it is for us both I think. It’s something that I focus on but that can become something I overthink too which can become negative :exploding_head:

In many ways I’m envious that women can have many orgasms when generally it’s one and done for me. If I was female I wouldn’t get much done :joy:. Then again I know some women are envious of male ejaculation. :man_shrugging:

I remember one time I had an injury from the previous night’s antics and so couldn’t do anything next morning other than pleasure my OH with hands/oral for multiple orgasms. It was truly fascinating for me and satisfying for us both. :blush: