After getting things going in the bedroom and making my wife feel good about herself thing where realy good.
I got a her new dress for her as she was having a night out (school reunion all girl school) she looked stunning and so happy ,I was happy.
She got a deal to stay at the hotel I did not have a problem with this I picked her up next day this is the problem.
She told me she gate crashed wedd party with friends and was up till 5am in the bar talking to a bloke who she did not know.He offered to buy her a drink she took it he told how he worked away from home had kids etc and was faithfuly to his wife etc and would not do anything.Dont know how long after he asked her back to the room.
I know she told me nothing happened. I can not understand how she could be so stupid I FEEL CHEETED
everthing I have done to to make feel good about herself has been used on another man Gutted is an understament.
SEX now is a complete NO I am not interested
I can not handle it its getting to me bad.I am so mad.
did you have any problems before this happened(apart from what you've already talked about?)??
I think it depends on how much trust there is in your relationship, if you can say that before this you could trust her 100% then I think you should believe her, however, if you cannot then i think you need to have a serious conversation.
I think you need to talk anyway, you need to tell her how you feel, that you feel cheated, betrayed and your finding it difficult to believe her.
It could all be honest what she's said to you, if it was my husband that did this I would be thinking why he accepted the drink in the first place.
A woman likes to feel flattered and wanted, and will relish on been shown a bit of attention but there are boundries, and only you two will know where they are set and whether they've been crossed.
I hope you sort things out hun, try not to fly off the handle when your talking with her as this will only make things worse.
i agree with mel me and my partner went through a simular experience... where he was working on the doors ( bouncer ) and had many women giving him the come on well one night sum1s taxi didn turn up so he took her home ( he always helps people in need which i now know) i found it hard 2 believe that it took him over an hour.
But we worked our way through this doing plenty of honest talking ...
We weighed up the good parts and the bad of our relationship without making accusations
then looking at the good and bad we discovered that we had alot to lose
next you will need to work on your trust and for a long while that will mean no over night stays anywhere for either of u... and try to agree on a time for when you will be in on nights out and a few txts throughout the night to let ur partner kno ur thinkin of them.
Given time you will get over the feeling of hurt and distrust me and my fiance are still together 3 years later and now are engaged
i wish u all the luck ... keep updated yeah amd also welcome to LH xx
as the others have said you do need to have an honest conversation.
if you feel cheated and betrayed tell her- and together you must find a way of trying to restore the trust back into your relationship.
as lolwelshgal said text her at agreed times and stick to mutually agreed cerfews.
it may be good to discuss the boundaries of your relationship eg no flirting with strangers ect as sometimes people have different ideas of what is cheating and not. ( in fact there is a whole thread on it if you search)
It does depend on your definition of cheating but unless she did those things, I don;t think she cheated. I do think you can still be hurt and that's understandable.
Flirting gives us all confidence and the fact that she told you suggests she didn;t think she did anything wrong. You probably both need to sit down and map out what's OK and what's not. Flirting often hurts the other partner but is a fact of life. Most people wouldn't tell someone in the pub to go away if they started chatting. So some chatting and flirting is to be expected but there is a line.
I think you need to talk and work out what you want in your relationship.
I think you are allowed to feel hurt and we all understand that. It's OK to feel like that. But try and see it from her point of view as well, as she should see it from yours.
A tricky one.. well for me answer three questions.
Did you trust her 100% before? If so , despite this obvious "mistake" you must assume she has been honest. Tell her you are not a happy bunny but at the end of the day you trusted her before ,she has chosen to be honest and frank and that is a good thing.
Ok maybe you didn't trust her before, are you looking for an excuse to break up ? If yes you have one but the consequences of that are severe and probably harmful to both of you.
Is it just the sex now that is the problem? If so you will probably get over it , you may need to reboot your relationship. Start by taking her out again ,as you did when you first dated, take it slow, see if the trust comes back.
My friend did similar thing the other night...went out and spent all night talking to another guy.
Her husband is lovely but she doesn't feel attractive to him at the moment (got a young son and all their conversation is about him and monotonous home stuff).
Husband is not very proactive when it comes to sex... which i know is not the case with you.
She keeps looking to others to make her feel sexy...even though she doesn't want anything to happen and loves her husband completely.
I agree with the others that you can only really tell her how you feel and have an honest talk about it all...
We got things worked out after a couple of days I still feel a little cheeted [...] We both said sorry talked things through [...] And went to bed and WOW it was good still rather it hadnt happened in the first place.
Did the guy in the bar feature in your mind's eye during the WOW session by any chance IWish !!!
Tallboy
Ok, in my opinion, that prurience was totally insensitive and inappropriate.
Sorry then, as for laughing at my misfortunes, well l have had so many of them in my time you would have to be damne quick off the maark to beat me. Laughing at yourself may not be everyone's bag but then l have adopted the ability rather than go stir crazy.... or any of the other commonly adopted attitudes we find.