Confidence in bed.

My partnee lacks confidence in bed its having a big effect because i if i feel she isnt interested then of she just says "well you can if you want" Then I feel o shouldn't aa she cleaely isnt bothered either way so rather than get her to do something she dosnt want it to things just struggle to get going. It's becoming a real issue. Any ideas on how things she/ we can do to boost her confidence and sexual desire.

Hey Jay13. Sorry to hear things aren’t going as you’d like right now. Have you tried communicating how you feel with her? Letfing her know this is bothering you? Me and my husband took part in an online questionnaire with a simple google search which we could both click yes, no or maybe go for things we were into and we found out a lot about one another, things both would have been embarrassed to say out loud. It’s since made us a lot closer and stronger and we’re able to communicate about sex more freely now!

Good morning Jay13, I agree with with Mrand Mrs_L doing a sex questionnaire can be a real ice breaker. Once that barrier has been broken you both will find it a lot easier to open up to each other. I used to lacked so much confidence in the bedroom until recently and im also a very shy person and those words" well you can if you want" is something that i used to say. I havent done a qestionnaire with my husband but we did start sexting about what we would like to do to each other. I found it a lot easier texting it as it wasnt so embarrassing saying to his face then when we were in the bedroom. He would say " so you said you liked this" and the rest is history. Good luck

Morning. From my experience it is difficult to work up the euthusiasm to meet someone else's sexual needs if you feel that yours are not be met in equal measure. I have muttered those wonderful words of 'ok then' when I have felt that I 'should' have sex rather than because I wanted to. Would it work if you said to her one evening that you just wanted to lick, kiss and touch her all over, or a nice oily massage, rather than having sex? I'm just thinking going back to basics might help you both discover what she really enjoys, you could always introduce toys if you think she would be comfortable with that.

Also, is it a confidence thing for her in terms of getting naked, feeling good in her own skin, or do you think it is a lack of desire to have sex, or a bit of both? Does she like pretty underwear? If she is reluctant to have sex because of how she perceives her own body then some beautiful undies from here might give her a boost.

Best of luck to you both, it is an unpleasant situation to be in from either perspective.

Totally agree with 'Gosig' here, sound advice. x ☺