Now who would think this was a bad thing? But it is... I feel like I constantly need sex. And even after sex... I want more.
Doing it alone does nothing to help.... in fact it makes me want it more.
My girlfriend doesn't really feel the same way and I now feel like i'm some dirty pervert perving on her all the time... so I'm trying to not talk about it as much!
What do I do? :(
Has this feeling been a recent occurence? If so, maybe u could determine what the cause(s) are and neutralise them (e.g if the causes r dietary, eliminate 'em from diet). From what u were saying, I'm not sure whether u've actually spoken to ur gf 'bout ur urges & how u finding 'em an problem. If u haven't, please do so: she might prove surprisingly cooperative.
Other than the above points, I can only advise u 2 grin & bear it!
If you're looking for ways to alleviate it, maybe try writing? You could send your girlfriend sexy text messages or write her emails explaining exactly how you're feeling and what you want so that hopefully you'll turn her on whilst mentally envisaging exactly what you fancy. Perhaps mentally living it out would help you more that physically trying to relieve it. Maybe write some erotica that you could both read together?
I'm in a long distance relationship and I know talking to him about what I'd like to do to him, whilst turning me on further, also helps to calm the the physical desires and channel them a little. I really hope you find a solution.
Addendum: since u stated in the Returning thread that sex had dropped off ur raydar, perhaps it's just the novelty of sex again which will eventually wear off!
Hello, wondering if there is any drop or is it constant, I find that I can get constantly horny even after sex in certain times of month, mainly round my period. And then it drops down.
If it really bothers you, try talking to your doctor about it?
If
I hope your feelings of frustration pass :) In the meantime just try to be honest to your gf that you are experiencing higher than your usual sex drive right now and that you really enjoy sex with her.
If you need a bit of extra curricular without actually cheating then you could try webcam sex. There are loads of free chat sites out there or for a more 'guaranteed' sex experience you could try sex cam site (I'm on one but don't want to spam!) where you can act out your fantasies with a very willing sexy lady.
I 'suffer' from this, am always, just the intensity varies, mine is probably due to being single & not getting any though.... All I do is either fight to ignore it or vary my toys around & play lots.
Perhaps if your G/F is not as horny as you, you'll have to rely on 'self-love' for a while but as has been said I'd talk to her so she knows how you're feeling.
chels18 wrote:
Now who would think this was a bad thing? But it is... I feel like I constantly need sex. And even after sex... I want more.
Doing it alone does nothing to help.... in fact it makes me want it more.
My girlfriend doesn't really feel the same way and I now feel like i'm some dirty pervert perving on her all the time... so I'm trying to not talk about it as much!
What do I do? :(
hi chels long time no chats hope youre ok LMDXX
Hey guys....
Thanks for the replies! I don't think its a novelty... its been like it a little while now and LH just made me realise it!
So... some answers:
..... I have chatted to my partner about wanting sex loads but she doesn't feel the same and so when I'm being a bit pervy on her she kinda pulls away a bit and laughs it off then changes the subject.... so i take the hint....
..... Dinner, Candle lit bubble baths, cuddles, massages tickles that lead onto naughty touches... shes just not interested & I end up fustrated because im so turned on from rubbing her back with hot oils. And when she is interested - i just don't feel like she's really there as she never takes the lead in our sex life or instigates anything where I want her to take charge like she used to... i do most of the work and end up feeling a little.... meh.
..... I think the feelings have originally stemed from not feeling wanted by her. That sounds horrid but its a major issue of mine ATM thats really sensitive. I have spoken to her about it.... A LOT (too much in fact). But its not getting better - in fact its worse and I've ended up applogising and saying I will try and make more of an effort even though I feel that I put myself on the line for her non stop when she wont do that for me.
.... So you would think that because of that, i would loose my sex drive as she obviously doesn't have those feelings but i've reacted in the opposite way!
..... Debbie - Interesting! I think she would class me going on Webcam with anyone as cheating.... I have watched some webcam sites in the past but think I would feel like I was cheating if I actually started interacting with the girls...
.....Avrielle.... I'm ok if i'm distracted - but problem is I spend too much time doing "alone time" that I end up not doing any of my chores or want some quick alone time in the car before I go into the supermarket!!
I just took myself out of my shoes and tried to give myself some advice.... I would say "talk to her - you need to both be on the same page...." problem is... thats not working and I'm left feeling things I dont want to feel ... horny, rejected, lonely and sad
Emotion plays a big role in sex,it could just be that sex makes you feel wanted s you subconsciously want it more.
Im like that when i feel low or stressed
I can relate to how you feel. I think it's quite "normal" to want reassurance and to be told by your partner that they love and want you. Especially if there are other elements that play into this as well as the emotional need the lack of physical stuff you have mentioned probably doesn't help.
Perhaps writing a letter to discuss how you feel in full may be able to show her how deeply you feel about it all. It can be hurtful when you feel unwanted .. but most of the times (especially in my case of being in a LDR) the partner is usually unaware that they're not showing the affection that you need/want.
It may help just having a heart to heart somehow. If not face to face where you may become overworked and from what you have said end up apologising (when all you want is some reassurance!) try and end up writing something to convey your feelings.
Good luck and *hugs*... Try dedicating a time in getting back to just communicating with eachother and fulfilling the emotional aspect of your relationship. It may help a lot with your issues of the physical side of things. The simple words like "I love you and want you" with sincerity can do wonders and great for clarification.
x X x.... we're long distance too - 150miles apart which is about 2.5hours away. We see each other every weekend (apart from this weekend) .... I just feel like I need her to show me she wants me, not tell me. Words are so cheap sometimes when they aren't backed up with actions.
You are right though - we do need time together to reconnect because there has been so much going on recently! I think I'll suggest going away somewhere for a weekend and see what happens
xxxx
I think you commented in my thread a while back as I also have this problem :(
I'm not really in a place to give advice at the moment as I'm kinda in a weird place & Not myself, But I hope you can find a solution sweetie, I really do know how you feel. xx
Is this maybe a symptom of other stuff being wrong in the relationship? You clearly have incompatible sex drives (at the moment anyway) but is everything ok except for that? sex is sometimes an indicator of other problems.
I think its important to keep talking to your girlfriend about this, if she cares about you'll she'll listen and you can work through it together! If you feel isolated I guess the problem seems even worse.
Maybe exercise more? A friend of mine gets horny when she's been inside too long and not been doing enough...she took up kick boxing and now takes her aggression out another way!
hope this works out xx
I'm the same with my boyfriend, although he admits to having a high sex drive like myself but mine just seems far to extreem, im not a greedy fuck either. I just like the connection and rush i get from it.
I like to wake him up with sex and it seems to get too much for him some of the time... sometimes it's like i wish there was a "hang on don't cum yet" switch, but i havent found one if there is.
I would say to talk to her about it and tell her you're not being selfish, more the oposite. You want her to feel as good as you do when you're having sex with her.
Also, have you ever tried teasing her, or sending her filthy messages suggesting sex or blatently telling her you want her, this might help, wind her up with it, turn her on, make her want it.
If all else fails, try experimenting with yourself more, or buy a toy that she can use on you, vice versa, instead of it always being intercourse try more outercourse, even if it doesnt result in sex.
The filthy texts usually work for me, or have you tried dressing up for her for when she comes home from work or something?
Do something she wouldnt expect you to do, and see how it goes. x
Also chels, i know how it feels, you want her to show you that she wants and needs you physically and emotionally.
Talk to her about it, it helps, trust me... but if anything dont nag just make out that it'll help, and try to make it about the both of you, or concentrate on her!!
I have this problem i've been a sex addict since I first started, haven't found a man that can keep up with my sex drive yet, It doesn't matter how much I satisfy myself its just not the same lol. I now spend more and more time talking sex in the forums and that sometimes helps a little especially when you get a good dirty conversation happening...
Apologies for bumping an old thread - this seemed an interesting issue.
Chel - I hope things have resolved themselves since July, and that you and your girlfriend now have a harmonious sex life.
From my own experience, and those of friends, I suspect that this is for some reason a particularly common issue in lesbian relationships.
I've always had a much higher sex drive that my girlfriend, which has occasionally led to stresses within our relationship. In fairness, she has a normal sex drive, while I have a very high one. Often I feel I need sex so badly it almost hurts, like I'm ill, like there's something wrong with me. I masturbate for relief, but that's not enough - I need her body, I need communion with her.
In turn, I feel unwanted while she feels too pressurised to have sex; she's hardly likely to enjoy making love if she's doing it under duress.
hey guys - sorry to bring up an old post! so... nearly 8months later and it hasn't changed - but now i have a smaller sex drive because i'm called a sex pest for having one.... in fact, i don't enjoy sex much because the whole time i'm worried that she's only doing it because
Its a serious case of LESBIAN BED DEATH!! <- obviously a well researched topic and that of course that is its professional, theorized name!!
Our relationship is amazing.... apart from the lack of sex. In fact, it isn't even a lack of sex - it's a lack of feeling wanted. I feel loved... don't get me wrong! I know she adores me... but I don't feel attractive or sexy in any way, shape or form where she perves over other girls and jokes about who she'd like to sleep with.... and that's what hurts i guess!
I share the feeling.....