Well, at last, I have a girlfriend. She's everything: clever, pretty, and nice. However, there is one tiny flaw. I'm a sub at the moment, so I would find it very difficult to dom her. In other words, how does one go about converting a semi-vanilla into a mistress?
I've told her that I want to be her sub, and she says the approximate of, "Uhh, I'm not too comfortable with it IRL, but I am on paper."
Ork wrote:
Throw bondage gear at her and tell her to do what ever she want's to you... it may work lol. Also be perfectly blunt and clear what you want, women as with men can't mind read lol.
that made me lol.
great advice though about being blunt Ork. if Master had never asked if he could try something then proceded to tie me to the ramparts of the bed i would never have mind read it out of him.
unfortunately my convertion was and easy curious 'nilla to sub meaning i cant help much.
i hope you lovely LH members can make a double D/sdate to the LAM for Muse and rag dolland their Master and Mistress :D
Ork wrote:
Then take it slow sort of thing? I mean as in boring thing's like tickle torture!
tickle torture boring????
on one of the very fiew occations i played switch and Domed my Master i had him safe word out on me where i had him tied and tickled him. Master also has an adorable tickerlish face...but i would be very biased wouldnt i :D
tickerling definately a good start though i agree Ork. go for it muse!
If she's vanilla she may not be entirely sure what it is you want of her. Have you made it clear you mean in the bedroom only or including outside the bedroom?
Letting her know a general idea of what you would like her to be for you would probablly help her come around. Start off small and work up, leave the hardcore stuff til later when she's started to take control already.
Starting small and gently easing her into the idea, little suggestions & hints here and there and slip things into conversation casually. Flirting with her in normal conversation, slip in calling her mistress in a slightly flrity humorous way. As in if she asks you to pass her something, just wink and say yes mistress with a smile. Anything that makes her feel at ease about it is what I can think of off the top of my head.
tickling? cool.
Alright. Thank you.
PurringTiger wrote:
Starting small and gently easing her into the idea, little suggestions & hints here and there and slip things into conversation casually. Flirting with her in normal conversation, slip in calling her mistress in a slightly flrity humorous way. As in if she asks you to pass her something, just wink and say yes mistress with a smile. Anything that makes her feel at ease about it is what I can think of off the top of my head.
i love this suggestion :D
Bump
anyone elce got any ideas for my friend MuseOD when it comes to converting a semi vsanila girlfriend to be his Mistress?
Errr is this a fairly new relationship? If so... isn't it a bit soon to be getting into the whole sub/dom thing?
I have never had any experience of this kinda thing, but I think if a fairly new boyfriend asked me to be his mistress I would freak out and run.
If she's not into it, can't you just have regular sex?
dotdashdot wrote:
Errr is this a fairly new relationship? If so... isn't it a bit soon to be getting into the whole sub/dom thing?
I have never had any experience of this kinda thing, but I think if a fairly new boyfriend asked me to be his mistress I would freak out and run. *
If she's not into it, can't you just have regular sex? **
i think it depends. the first time i had sex with my now Dom he asked if he could tie me up. i had great fun and wasn't at all freaked even though i was pretty vanilla :) converting to Dom is harder than sub though as you cant just turn to your new partner and declare "I want you to whip me!" :)
* from talking to MuseOD i know that his new GF already writes BDSM themed stories but that she says that she likes it in writing but not in real life.
** and i know that for MuseOD and for other people too that BDSM isnt just about sex. for some it's more about the dynamics of the relationship. and not everyone into BDSM is into sex.
i should let muse talk for himself though.
Ork wrote:
And again tickle torture it's evil without equal I suppose but it's something most people wouldn't have an issue with and a good start.
evil but fun. i get so excited when me and my partner chasing eachother around the room tickerling eachother.
Ork wrote:
rag doll wrote:
Ork wrote:
And again tickle torture it's evil without equal I suppose but it's something most people wouldn't have an issue with and a good start.
evil but fun. i get so excited when me and my partner chasing eachother around the room tickerling eachother.
I almost tore my dad's right eye out with my foot.... his glasse's took the hit and there was a massive chip out of them lol! I despise the very idea of being tickled lol.
scarry!
we are so bad at stealing threads Ork :)
Ork wrote:
Oh no we're er.... warning him of the danger's is all LOL!
well then, as its sutch a risky indulgence its good that i can inform you that MuseOD shockingly hates being tickled to the point that its a hard limet for him. atleast we shant have to worry about him loosing any eyes.
time for a tickerling thread perhaps ork? :)
Well, Ork....the thing is, we haven't even kissed. Let alone sex. So....my idea is, is that next time we're at either of our houses, when we cuddle, she blindfolds me. Or cuffs. Or ties.
MuseOD,
Hi, may be the problem is all about your girl friends fear and embarassment;
Fear - is is possible that because Dom and Sub is not something she has encountered thus far in her sex life that she has a difficulty rationalise the concept and a FEAR of herself. She may be raving Dom but scarred to admit it because she doesn't yet know how to manage it.
Embarrasment - there is a possibility that she is embarrased by the notion. This isn't something readily spoken of in company. How would she admit she was a Dom.
Thing U hv too take things slowly and guide her gently too toward what you want remembering that she will what fucked and if being a Sub means U can't or won't she is not getting satisfaction.
Also there is a Conditioning issue, her expectation is ....... Is your being a Sub contrary to what she has been conditioned to believe and expect
@Horny
No, no. She is dominant and prefers subby guys. Either way, I've decided not to go ahead with this plan, because she said
I... don't think we have that kind of relationship.
When I called her mistress. Oh well. But she did ask me when I was going to the LAM, and what I was going to get there. So I told her half the truth, and said that I was going to get cuffs and a collar. (I'm actually going to get a thuddy toy as well.)
you meet someone who is who they are, if its good why try to change it?
@gunther
She's dominant. I want her to be a domme. I'm not sure it's too much of a stretch.
MuseOD wrote:
@gunther
She's dominant. I want her to be a domme. I'm not sure it's too much of a stretch.
its a question of what she wants I think