Hey All!
We want to hear about any date nights that didnāt quite go as planned! Did your best laid Valentines plans go awry? Did a romantic evening out end up more like a scene in a comedy sketch?
Let us know down below! 
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I once shit myself in Nandos, but I was alone so Iām not sure it counts.
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Self dates definitely count!
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Hey Brenna
Itās always a bad night if I spill the tea. I had a full cup on the floor by the sofa. Got up to grab a snack. Thought āyou should move that Mel youāre gonna kick it overā. Sure enough coming back in the room, tea all over my beautiful white wool rug. Bad times.
Luckily though, no date night disasters i can recall although we once went to East London on sea (Southend) for a night out. Parked up by the beach, fell asleep, woke up at 2am and drove back to E2. It was still a nice run out 
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Nearly had one of those last week. Got a little over enthusiastic with a Lovehoney toy (or two). Thought I was losing one but managed to recover and save the infamous trip to A&E
Be careful people!
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On a rare date night when the kids were younger, we ventured out for a meal and drinks at our local, hoping to enjoy some time together, when an old pal of my deceased dad spotted us just as we ordered a meal - so he invited himself to our table and then spent the next couple of hours chatting nonstop and eventually crying over what a great guy my dad was when he was alive, including mid-meal! Felt sorry for the bloke, but it did kind of end any romantic feels!
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A story in three acts:
Act 1: She has nut allergy. A meal out, unknown to both one meal had some trace of nuts.
Act 2: Things had progressed to a more physical level.Some oral action takes place.
Act 3:She had a very sudden and very localised allergic reaction. Resulting a condition forever known as āFanny-phylaxisā
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Also the post by @Melody1 earlier reminded me of another oral disaster.
So way back many years ago I had a couple
Of teeth missing and had a plate with two false one on (I am sure you all know where this is going).
So we are in bed one evening and I am down under the duvet getting intimate with my wifeās pleasurable areas. However I have developed a good deal and a vacuum has developed causing the plate to dislodge and start making its way from my oral cavity to her genital one. In my haste to try and stop this in comes out completely and whilst not disappearing completely was more inside than not. A sudden stop and I needed to get the lights on and gently and unromantically remove the denture plate before it disappeared completely.
Unsurprisingly this was a mood killer and was quickly followed by a slightly surreal discussion about cleaning the denture before it went back in the correct hole.
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After my divorce, on a dating site, went to pick a young lady up. Once driving away with her in the car there was a pungent sweaty smellā¦
It was coming from her 
2nd oneā¦ Every year my wife and me went up to our 1st date area for a meal and walk on the beach, this year we were several weeks later due the need to take the step daughter to college and workā¦ Went to walk on the beachā¦ It was blowing a gale and she was twisting due to the weather, but planned to ask her to marry me and when I asked she said āeeeeee noā but didnāt mean it as she had winged all day about the weather 
so I had to ask her again 2 mins later
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Yes butt plugsā¦ Are great and most of the time I forgot about and enjoy them but always the little niggle that a toy could ābreak freeā and cause an awkward trip to A&E! 
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First date/ night spent together with my other half, both drunk as skunks as basically drained the liquor cabinet had rampant sexy time followed by me puking my ring out the rest of the night with alcohol poisoningā¦super awkward as he canāt do sick and we didnāt really know each other. He quietly left to go to work and I thought bugger, never going to see him again. He rocked up after work with supplies and to check how I was and we are here 24 years later 
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Not with my OH, a date with someone from an online dating site when I was younger.
He seemed lovely online up until we actually met but then I got absolute instant creeper vibes. I was instantly like no, but politely and warily went through the date with the intention to say this isnāt for me at the end, thinking maybe Iām being harsh and should give it time.
Highlights of the date, he told me all about his gastrointestinal issues as well as the fact he doesnāt like dogs just after I told him I am a dog person etc. he also arrived in a van, not in a hip way, a creepy van.
No touching, just awkward conversation. He was throwing out red flags here and there but it was long ago, I canāt remember exact details.
Anyway.
Date ends and by then I just need to be alone. I had already established my exit before even arriving and this served me well.
I went to work the next day and I must have told him the brand of shop I was working at after he asked, thinking thereās loads, he wonāt find the actual one. (I definitely didnāt tell him the actual location)
Well he found me, brought all his friends and introduced me as his girlfriend to them.
I wonder sometimes if he managed to turn the creepy vibes down somehow or if he found someone who was made for him.
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Driving off into the hills for a romantic meal at a quaint little pub where we had our first date.
I smell burning. Itās probably nothing. A car pulls alongside me. āDo you know youāre on fire?ā And drives off again.
The romantic meal turns into waiting over an hour for the AA.
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I actually did the same whilst out on a walk to the local beach with a date.
I have no idea if I got away with it has walked back to mine, went and jumped in a shower to āfreshen upā.
Luckily it wasnāt a, erm, stomach full. So yet, up there as one of my majors in terms of how I felt regardless of if I got away with it.
First proper date and night together ā¦already did the chat ā¦what we likeā¦how we look, height and so onā¦ he declares heās an inch shorter than me ā¦no big deal I donāt wear too high a heel that night. Get to the restaurantā¦Chinese all you can eatā¦ Heās sitting down and doesnāt get up. We go up to get some food and he, very gentleman-like letās me go first, I turn my head to talk to him and think oh heās gone somewhere. He hadnāt, was stood right behind me and I looked over his head. Ah well. So the night goes on ā¦next morning he comes out of the bathroom and says all free. Went in to brush my teeth and freshen up ā¦ He forgot to mention the stinking poo he left. Couldnāt brush my teeth there 
I try to keep this in the depths of my mind but I suppose Iāll spill the beans here!
I got chatting to a guy a few years ago and it went great at first. We were similar in age, we liked the same things, we worked in a similar field, and all in all we got on really well. He lived quite a distance away but he knew the area I lived in so was happy to make the trip.
Fast forward a couple of weeks and we agree to go on a date. We go for a drink first then to a nice little restaurant.
The second we met in person I just got a weird feeling. He was really nice and looked even better than his photos so I really had no reason to feel weird, but I did.
We finish our drinks, head to the restaurant and it all goes well. I mostly (but not fully) lose the weird feeling and as weāre sitting there after the meal he gets a phone call and excuses himself. A few minutes later he rushes back in and apologises saying that he has to go right away. He said that his dad had an accident and heās in the hospital. I wish him all the best, assuming that this was his āget out of jail cardā and thatās that, heās out the door and gone.
Later that night he texts and lets me know that unfortunately his dad had passed away. I do my best to console him and we end up talking on the phone for most of the night. Heās really beating himself up because according to him, he and his dad didnāt have a great relationship and had barely seen each other in years. His dad had left his mum when he was young and heād only started to speak to him again in the last year or two.
The next morning Iām sitting in my parents house and my mum comes down looking visibly upset. She doesnāt say much until my dad walks in and breaks the news that his brother (my uncle) had passed away the previous night.
It actually took me a while to piece things together and I convinced myself that it was just a coincidence until I spoke to the guy and, to my horror confirmed that I had indeed been on a date with my cousin the previous night.
I didnāt want to tell him but I also didnāt want him to think that I had just ghosted him when he was going through all of that so I explained the situation and we cut ties immediately, on friendly terms.
Thankfully nothing had happened between us which made me feel a bit less creeped out, but not much.
I didnāt stick around for much of the funeral and managed to avoid him during the time I was there and a few weeks later I had all but forgotten the horror show. That was until I got a message from him one night saying āheyā.
Blocked, deleted, disgustedā¦
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Well your allowed to marry a cousinā¦
Just because you can, doesnāt mean you should.
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I thought that privalige was saved for the royal family to do that lol
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