Dating Website

Hello all! I hope you are well

Not sure if this is the right section for this thread but it's not really to do with sex so I thought I'd stick it here (that's what she said!)

Me and my partner met on a dating website, when we got together I made the decision to disable my account and delete the app from my phone and basically stop using the website altogether.

Now in my infinite wisdom (har har) I decided to have a sneak on his profile recently to look up something to do with his views on children, when I noticed that he had been online that day.

I've checked it every day since (probably about a week?) and he's been online on it at different intervals every day. I asked him about it and he said he just clicks onto the app to get rid of any notifications that are on there and admitted he should probably just delete it.

He hasn't done so, and still shows as being online.

I feel certain that he's telling the truth about why he goes onto it randomly, but just knowing he's on there still really bothers me. He said he hadn't yet disabled it because he couldn't remember his password, but he's told a similar story before when he didn't want me to add him on Facebook before we'd met, and admitted then that he had lied.

Is it too much to ask for him to disable his account and delete the app? I've had quite a few neurotic moments with him and I'm scared this will just lead to another "you're being silly, stop overthinking things" talk, but I just cannot get over the idea that he's talking to someone else on there.

Any advice would be much appreciated!

I'd say set up a fake account and see what he's up to but if he found out it was you would it be worth it?... Plus I'm a bit of a paranoid partner and iv caught people out that way before

Rationally, I would talk things through with him. When in reality, I would probably make a fake account to see what he's up to, I know that's awful, but I would want to see if there was a real reason he wasn't deleting it.

Fake account is always a sure bet, although what if hes actually being truthful, how bad would you feel then? also has he ever given you a reason not to trust him?

I have been with my fiancee for about 2 and a half years now and i still have old dating sites that i signed up to years ago emailing me etc o i go on see whats happening and go off again no harm done. she doesn't know it because i have no reason to tell her though i have noproblem with her knowing.

i probably will delete them eventually just need to get around to it lol.

hope this helps, let us know what you do and how it pans out

mnms wrote:

"you're being silly, stop overthinking things" talk

That sounds an awful lot like a "your opinion is invalidated" talk rather than a team effort to resolve any perceived issues (whether they are well founded or not, is that of any importance?)

I agree with the above, fake acount+observation work will be the only way to remove your paranoia. It could also justify your feelings and ruin everything. Perhaps it is wise to be sure you want the answer not just reassurance before snooping.

Talking is key.

I wouldn't be able to bring myself to make a fake account. It's too deceptive and I don't want to go down that road myself.

Only one right path here - talk to him. Explain why it bothers you. Accept that to him it may seem minor, but explain it's a big thing for you. He should understand, or even if he doesn't he should recognise it's important enough to go ahead and delete it.

IF it's anything more than just keeping forgetting to delete the account (if I think to a moment on the number of spam email I get that I keep being too lazy to unsubscribe to....) then it's likely a bit of a ego boost thing rather than nefarious deeds (not that he shouldn't still delete it if it bothers you) so I wouldn't worry too much that he's up to anything. It could even be a boredom habit in between work or while on a bus or something - I have a few sites I go on during those bored moments (one of which is lovehoney!) and it's more of a habit to visit some of them than any interest now. (not lovehoney obviously!)

I personally don't think making a fake profile is the right way to go about it. It could lead to a lot more problems for you both.

Good luck.

Don't think it would be unreasonable at all for him to delete it. He has you, why would he need it?