I don't do same sex anything but if my fwb wanted his ffm threesome I would put on a very good show for him ;)
Gentle giant wrote:
Wildcherry wrote:
The natural submissive in me always wants to please my partner, i really find it hard when all attention is soley focused on me as id rather be satisfying him as thats more of a turn on.
My Wife has desperately tried to explain this to me. When I spend for her to much total attention on her she doesn't feel right. I have tried many times. That it is just the same for me to enjoy playing , feeling and stimulating her is a massive turn on for me. I have told her it is all foreplay for me and I just want that time together.
I think its letting yourself learn to like it and relaxing more. My husbands more dominant in the bedroom so it works fine for us but now he wants me to take charge and it is very hard to treat him like a submissive as im use to just pleasuring and not getting pleasured but im learning to change my mind set, it just takes time..
It is a two way process. We like to give each other as much pleasure as possible. It's essential for a relationship to be this way in my opinion
My thoughts on this
its deffenatly a two way street . but When better half and I can play My main thought is pleasing her ! I'll do what ever I can to make her enjoy it as much as possible even if it takes a long time ! and at the end she is so knackered she's exhausted and collapses! leaving me almost frantic !
but thats half the pleasure knowing that what i have done was good enough
and maybe not getting any physical pleasrue is some sort of cruel sexual torture !
I know that when its is my turn I know just how much I'll enjoy it !
I will admit to being rather selfish in the bedroom, perhaps not deliberately but I am probably a lot more of a taker than a giver (sorry darling, I know youll read this). My other half certainly enjoys giving me pleasure and does it so well that I am likely to just want to cuddle and fall asleep afterwards in a state of bliss.
Yes i do enjoy giving him pleasure but it is certainly more one sided in our relationship.
It's a 50/50 in our relationship. We both get turned on, and experience pleasure from making each other squirm and squeal with delight. Personally, I think that's how it should be in any relationship. It's a partnership, and if it starts getting one-sided in the bedroom, who knows where else that could lead too :P I enjoy making him cum, he enjoys making me cum - it's perfect.
Wildcherry , the site won't let me quote post at the moment. I am so in agreement with you this is exactly where we are at. We have talked and talked about it. My wife really wants to try and on the odd occasions when she has lead it is wonderful but she just doesn't find it natural. I have said just occasionally , I am more than happy to lead most of the time. Seeing all the agreeing posts makes me think that this is the usual way of things. It does talk time but we have been married for 25 years and are very much in love, yet something just holds her back. I do love trying though.
If it helps any GG when I try being a proper sub I find it bloody hard work. Im used to more switching almost minute by minute so subbing I find hard. I can understand your OH finding it difficult because its not natural and its literally work. If she gives it a go shell find it hard and may not get a lot of pleasure as you really have to concentrate in your role, well I do!! :-)
LMF thanks for your thoughts, yes I agree but just occasionally it's should be possible surly.
Its possible GG as i say its just hard work and when i first tried i just didn't have a clue!! Its going against what you know and i switch!! Its literally like starting a new job perhaps your wife just doesn't know where to begin. I know i needed help. Goodness i sound like a complete novice which i guess i was lol. Still hardly do it. Still find it hard.
I think I fit into the more common category of people who get pleasure from giving pleasure, so yeah, pleasing him pleases me.
However, for us is is a little more complex as we have a D/s dynamic and chastity and orgasm denial is a big part of our sexual relationship. So in a sense, we have this scenario:
It pleases me to ultimately deny him, (because it makes him more and more aroused) and he is pleased that he is pleasing me in this way, which pleases me. lol
It is still essentially a circle of pleasing one another and taking pleasure in pleasing.
I agree with DavidB1986 we have 50/50 relationship. I like pleasing him gets me off and he likes pleasing me and he gets hard at that it just works for us
Hmmm.... I would say I get a kick out of making the fella I'm with get to the grand finale
😉
I have been in quite a sub role most of my married life..... Might be a time for a change though.....
Sometimes it is hard to get into one role rather the other, or to mix it up with give and take.
I think the morale is as you get older you realise life is for living... So trying new things pushes you to go out of your comfort zone....
Can certainly spice up life😉
I love to please my man and he loves to please me too. We tend to take turns but it's not planned.. it just seems to work out that way!
If I'm not in love with the person I don't give a **** I ain't pleasing him, I am good at what I do so I'd save it for someone special
I think that sex is all about pleasing your partner... pleasing yourself you can do on your own!
I think that sex is all about pleasing your partner... pleasing yourself you can do on your own!