Don't get me wrong, I love penetration too, however there's something about teasing my OH (either with fingers, or with toys) that I really enjoy!
I'm not sure if it's the domination part (as she's often tied up at the time), or if it's how much I know she's loving it, something else, or a combination of the lot!
Anyone else find they're similar?
For me if I don’t have the build up I don’t enjoy the penetration so much afterwards, I need to have my senses on edge before my OH will let me have anything else, I know he loves working me up until I can’t take it anymore then penetration is just the release for me. It works the other way too, I get really turned on by pleasuring him, erotic massage and teasing seems to be his favourite before I’ll give him control to fill me. Whatever works for you as a couple, I’ve been in a relationship where my ex only really wanted vanilla sex with no foreplay- worked for him but not for me!
I am exactly the same Richy, i get really turned on by watching and pleasuring the wife through oral, fingers or toys to the point where sex almost becomes umrequired. It's the moans, seeing her face contorted with pleasure, the heaving chest, and being able to see how excited she is below. I could spend hours doing it but things get a bit sensitive after multiple orgasms.
I love teasing, playing the build up. Depending on our mood sometimes that's all we do however it is a must before penetration
This is certainly true in my case. I now frequently use a strapon on my wife and I really enjoy that I can concentrate on getting things just right for her without the distractions of having to think about controlling my own orgasm etc. However, I'm acutely aware that I'm extremely turned on the whole time.
I think we all have quite a bit of our self-respect tied up with being able to bring our partners to a good orgasm.
Exactly the same for me.
I love tying my fiancee up, spanking her and teasing her.
Fingers, tongue and toys vaginally and anally. I can keep myself busy for hours without even thinking about penetration.
If she lets me put anything in her ass (massive turn on for me) my heart literally pounds in my chest, she always comments that she can feel how strong it's beating.
It's the suspense and the power dynamic. Makes you realize sex is as much phycological as it is physical, possibly even more!
I'm not sure if I turn my OH on or as much with teasing as penetration or direct contact, but she certainly does to me, and she knows it!! I think it is all about the mental stimulation as well as physical.
Penetration for me always was and always will be not that important. I love the slow build-up and teasing more the the penetration itself, but unfortunately my hubby doesn't. Don't get me wrong, he's lovely in many aspects, but except for the times when we were dating - I mean before me being a mum - he's not interested in doing that. I think it's his mind always on a mode of working, paying the bills, looking after the kids, etc, etc...
When it comes to sex, he wants that much needed release, which for him usually comes with penetration. He's not selfish and tries his best to please me, but it's not enough. Penetration only gives me nearly nothing except for a few pleasurable sensations, but gives him a nice orgasm. Me on the other hand, orgasm through clitoral stimulation and foreplay.
Luckily for me he's a nice guy and knowing that, he's totally ok with me investing in sex toys and masturbating. When we are on holiday and away from family, things do improve in terms of slow burning, but no-one can be away for that long. Certainly not we two.
It's the finger-work for me! I like foreplay for quite a long time, and can climax several times - something I never do through penetration alone. My husband like foreplay too - me on him as well as vice versa. However, penetrative sex still feels like the natural end result - I still love the sensations and feelings of closeness, and my husband likes that too and cums after being very happy to turn me on in other ways first.