Domination games (not bondage)

Sex Tips & Talk
1

I'm referring in the title to the types of games in which an OH must follow a set of instructions given by his/her partner which are either pleasing in themselves or lead to a pleasant outcome. There might be punishment aspects as well, depending on the tastes of the players. I'm not referring specifically to physical bondage games, although they are a possible example.

I have a bit of a kink for playing a Dom role -- but not the cliché of taking on a sadistic and domineering persona purely for my own satisfaction. Rather, I enjoy using my imagination to create controlled scenarios which I hope will surprise and delight my OH, and setting things up so that we can play them out.

For example, my OH might receive a sealed envelope containing instructions to take a warm and relaxing bath (using the sensuous products provided), then to change into a specific set of clothes (provided) and report to the bedroom. There might also be an indication of consequences if the instructions aren't followed properly.

Simpler examples might be:

  • You will secretly wear these items of lacy underwear to work and you will regularly remind yourself how sexy you feel in them.
  • You will read an erotic short story from this book whilst consuming these chocolates, and then report to me on what bits of the story turned you on.
  • At 10 o'clock this evening, you will go to our bedroom and pleasure yourself with a vibrator for 30 minutes.

Do others here play these sorts of games? If so, then I'm keen to understand whether those receiving the instructions enjoy the overall experience of having to follow them, or if it's just a case of liking individual elements as they turn up.

My wife usually plays along and enjoys the tasks (as do I!). I get the impression, though, that she finds it a bit quirky to frame it all as a power game, and would much rather just be given a list of suggestions to decide "yes" or "no" between -- but she doesn't want to spoil my fun by saying so. We could do it that way (and I'd still be fairly happy with that), but I wonder first of all whether I might just not be selling the concept to her well enough.

Any thoughts or suggestions? Does one have to learn to enjoy playing out a submissive role in this way, or is it something that individuals either like or not in a fixed way? Am I just being selfish by persisting with this approach?

As a more general topic for this thread, what sorts of domination games do others enjoy? I'd certainly be interested to hear about them.

Thanks for reading this far!

2

no suggestions, but this sounds like a fun game. I may have to try this out.

3

We've done something similar. I've left a note for my hubby for when he comes home to go and have a shower then knock on the bedroom door and await instructions. I blind folded him and allowed him to run his hands over me (dressed in sexy undies) but wasn't allowed to look. Then took off the blind fold and teased him with dancing/grinding but again not allowed ot touch. Tied him up (face down on the bed) and gave him a full body massage, sometimes using my body and so on... all of it teasing and not allowed to touch or see until I decided.

Went well apart from nearly falling off the bed!

He has also done something similar for me in teh line of sensory play.

4

Ooh these games sound fun. Hmm I'll try to think of one!

5

Wow you write very arousing posts. Love the idea of trying this out more.

Have sent a few texts saying to wear this or get showered etc. Had a very verbally dominating session that was amazing. Like all new things with the missus I'm pacing myself so she doesn't think I'll want to do it all the time ( dying to do it again though! )

My OH likes it. I can see she initially dislikes being out of control but I love that bites she is very much in control of other aspects of our life. She likes it once she see's what's in store though!

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toycar69: Please do try it out and, if possible, report back!

sharry: That sounds amazing! I'm getting hot at the thought of my wife doing something similar to me.

SnL: I'd love to hear what ideas you come up with.

BigPoppa: Thanks for the compliment! Again, it would be great to hear how you get on.

As you can tell, I really enjoy devising these types of scenarios! My imagination is quite active, but it sometimes lacks an outlet and it definitely benefits from further input, so I'd very much like to swap ideas with others on what we can plan for our respective OHs.

Please do add your thoughts to this thread or, if you'd prefer a one-to-one discussion, then please feel free to add me as a friend so that we can get chatting!

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the mental element is a big part of the Domination for a lot of people, and can be as "extreme" or as "mild" as you like. it's different for everyone and different people have their own styles. Things to explore may be

you could do things like order you OH to strip and then you can use her favorite toy on her?

Have you heard about "forced orgasms" it's basically where you make the submissive come over and over again, that might be fun to play about with. Similarly teasing might be a nice idea, taking your partner to the brink and back again and again untill they beg you for release

maybe something like run her a bath and then state that when she is out of the bath she must do what you say, the bath being a sort of preperation for the submissive role.

you could get her to write down one of her favorite fantasies and then think about making it a reality if you would both feel comfortable with it.

Quite a few people use something symbolic to define when they start the dominant and submissive roles. some people use collars, you could use jewelry or even lingerie. Something to help you both get into that head space could be fun, especially if you present it to her in a cool way! like before she goes to work, then send her instructions througout the day!

There's no right and wrong with domination of this kind, so long as you both enjoy it!

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hey they sound like a good turn on and a nice idea for fun will ahve to rtry this for a change

9

i would love to have a dominatrix in my life, just a bit of abuse here and there and a few forceful texts each day :( lol iv always had a thing for all these naughty little fantasies.

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I quite often leave instrutions for K. Like to leave him a list of jobs to do whilst im out on a saturday night with a boyfriend. These will quite often involve my ironing, washing and cleaning. Love to send him pictures via my phone so that he can see what a good time im having. x

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you hot minx miss d i bet k has his work cut out when you get home

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lickmadick wrote:

you hot minx miss d i bet k has his work cut out when you get home

Sometimes, in most cases i expect him to have finished his jobs and to have locked himself in his cage. Sometimes i have him wait for us dress as a maid so that he can be humilated. X

13

do you torture him too?

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lickmadick wrote:

do you torture him too?

Sometimes , but always within our agreed limits but most things go. X

15

Maybe you could try framing it in a way that gives her a bit more control/choice or doesn't seem so artificial? More of a suggestion or a request than a 'power game'? I'm thinking something along the lines of nuzzling the back of her neck and saying quietly, "I'm going out to the store for ___. I'd be really aroused if I found you ____ when I got back." Sometimes that request could be specific (giving you more control), sometimes very general leaving the choice to her.

Or you could also try making her an offer she can't refuse. Tell her you'll do a particular chore IF she spends that time in the bath/dressed sexily/pleasuring herself/???. :-)

Just some different ideas. It might not take much to find approaches which work well for both of you.

16

I've done this before with my OH, for our one-year anniversary :) I went to his flat, totally blitzed the place so it was really tidy, and waited for him to come home from work.

Because I had his keys, he had to ring the doorbell. I buzzed him in and stuck a note on the front door of his flat and went and hid. There were tealights floating in water along the hallway, the flat was warm... The note said to go straight to the bedroom, strip off, sit in his desk chair, put on a blindfold (provided), and clap three times when he was done.

I went in when he'd done all these things, gave him a shoulder massage with a Lush massage bar, fed him chocolate-dipped strawberries and gave him oral etc., all while he couldn't see me. If he tried to touch me I'd step out of reach and admonish him (that's where the power thing came in).

After all this, I was suitably turned on myself, so I let him take off his blindfold to see me in lingerie, stockings and heels. It was... A pretty good night

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Wow! Thanks for all those replies. I've also just enjoyed a chat on this topic with a new LH friend. Great! External Media

Sweetlove666: I enjoyed reading all of your suggestions. I regularly march my wife into the bedroom, order her to strip off, and then tease her with a toy (either edging or through multiple orgasms). That's one of the domination games that she enjoys -- perhaps because it's now familiar territory for her and she knows that it's more than likely to get her off.

sweetlove666 wrote:

maybe something like run her a bath and then state that when she is out of the bath she must do what you say, the bath being a sort of preperation for the submissive role.

I quite often run her a bath and then specify what she must do while she's still in it! Again, my wife definitely enjoys that -- she has done so since becoming very turned on watching a film in which a woman masturbates in the bath.

Quite a few people use something symbolic to define when they start the dominant and submissive roles. some people use collars, you could use jewelry or even lingerie.

An idea that I used a while ago was to give my wife a pair of knee-high stripey socks (which looked rather sexy on her anyway). My instruction to her was that, when she put these on, she had to enter "bad girl" mode, and to be as hot and slutty as possible. This seemed to help her to leave her "good girl" persona behind -- they were an ongoing visual cue to her which represented permission for her to change mode.

rose hip wrote:

Maybe you could try framing it in a way that gives her a bit more control/choice or doesn't seem so artificial? More of a suggestion or a request than a 'power game'? I'm thinking something along the lines of nuzzling the back of her neck and saying quietly, "I'm going out to the store for ___. I'd be really aroused if I found you ____ when I got back." Sometimes that request could be specific (giving you more control), sometimes very general leaving the choice to her.

I do that at times. I don't find it as exciting an option, but I understand your point that my wife may prefer this. I'm not generally a control freak. My perspective is just that it ought to be thrilling not to know what's going to happen next, as long as you're with someone whom you love and trust

cheer_up: That's a wonderful story. Once again, I love the thought of my wife doing that to me. She looks rather a treat herself in lingerie, stockings and heels.