I love having sex with my wife but I just hate cumming to quickly sometimes it makes me feel like I’m not pleasing my wife.
Is there anyway around this yes I’ve used cock rings but this doesn’t seem to do the trick.
Any ideas??
I must admit I am fairly quick on the trigger at times. Cock rings don't make me cum slower but they help keep a hardon a little longer. The best advise I can give is satisfy her before you have full sex. We use a variety of toys, watching each other, use the toys together.. she will have multiple orgasms at times before I go in for the finish, get her on the edge and then go for it and cum together.
There are delay lubes, spray and creams but they seem to have mixed results according to their reviews. If you can grab some on offer they might be worth a try?
A lot of people recommend 'edging' as a way to improve control. Basically you stimulate yourself just until the point where you're about to cum and then immediately stop touching yourself, wait until you've calmed down a bit, and then start stimulating yourself again. Repeat this for as long as you can/have time for. Doing this regularly can improve your stamina and give you a better awareness of your 'point-of-no-return' (so you know when to take a pause and mix it up a bit until you're ready to carry on).
Hope this helps. 🙂
Explore your "point of no return" during solo play as suggested above. Try changing pace during sex, when you feel close - or pause or switch position if necessary. Once your partner is close to climax, try to find a way to keep going while controlling your excitement. I've occasionally resorted to reciting the alphabet backward in my head... Also, it goes without saying that you should talk to your partner about this and see how she feels. My wife is generally happy for me to cum quickly. If she's near the edge and I jump the gun, then it's more of a worry.
I was exactly the same when I was with my wife. I would always make sure she came a couple of times before I went in. Since breaking up I found myself having more time to pleasure myself, and I used the edging technique. I recently a short fling with a woman and I was able to last so much longer, to the point some times I just wanted to finish 🤣 I think part of it was whenever I was wanking at home I was always rushing, so your body is used to wanting to finish as soon as possible. Try edging and see if it improves.
Usually if I feel like I’m gonna cum to quickly I’ll change positions or go down on her, just gives me chance to compose myself, settle down and then I’ll go again
Lots of good advice here. I'd suggest ladies first, then concentrate on your 17x table or activities which take your mind off your main event. Edging' sounds like good advice - not sure I was familiar with the term but I am familiar with the practice (works for women too btw).
Think this is a common issue with men and especially the younger ones. As man gets older, he has better control some how. 3 points. 1) You may practised or trained to delay but when some fantasies hot spots images flash in your mind, you loose it. 2) Delay gel is an alternative aid but ???. Review why you want to penetrate? ...the sweet feeling of your rod in her isn't it. With gel you lost that feeling. 3) Think taking time role-play is the best. Feel her in whatever ways both like without you penetrating. Fingers, toys and whatever that make both happy before the finale.
I wish I had your problem! I can hardly ever cum during sex, I’m only 32 and it pisses me off so much. I’ve heard low folic acid levels can cause your problem. I have them myself but it doesn’t make me cum any quicker. Might be worth getting a blood test done.
As I've written on another thread, when I was dating I used to have this problem regularly with a new partner and found that Durex Performa condoms really helped. They would get me used to not cumming after just a few thrusts, so after a couple of weeks, I could go back to Thin Feel (my usual condom) and things would (most times!) be OK. If you don't normally need to use condoms, you could use Performa when you first enter and later on take it off and go back inside her condomless to finish. Hope this helps.
After talking to my wife many times (well outside of playtime!!) it turned out 'finishing' quickly is often a wild turn-on (it doesn't have to be the finish btw ;-)
My personal PE challenges over the years, I've recognised now, were mainly psychological: the fear of coming too soon created a physiological response that decreased the time to ejaculation. Years of secretive masturbation, coupled with a fear of discovery, and overstimulation with porn also tended to train the mind and body to gain a quick finish.
Taking more time over a bit of self pleasuring, with a lockable door if you need privacy, is a good way to break the psychological link between fear of discovery, and learning more about relaxing and enjoying sex.
As others have mentioned, edging stamina training is also great for understanding and hopefully delaying the point of no return too.
I now don't usually see coming quickly as a 'problem', as such. In many situations, my OH takes it as an enormous compliment that she has this effect on me. Her being so relaxed & easy about things obviously makes me feel relaxed too, which also makes things better with delaying ejaculation.
My wife and I now often like to go for an urgent, passionate, & impulsive 1st round romp: think of this as a mindblowing warmup, followed by a good amount of time getting creative with hands, mouth, or her favourite toys to get her rocks off.
Her writhing in orgasm really gets me in the mood for a more drawn out 2nd round, sometimes wearing a soft squishy cock-ring round the base of the cock and balls. This helps with staying rock hard, but has to be comfy for me, for a long wear. A cock ring definitely has a much better effect for me 2nd time round. The sensitivity around the bell-end and the frenulum are already much lower, and this all helps me really enjoy being in charge of thrusting passionately and really connecting. Performance anxiety doesn't get a look-in here!
As a parting shot: An acquaintance with knowledge of porn production once told me that the "money shot" is usually filmed at the very start of production, when ejaculations are most dramatic, but are nearly always shown at the end to give a visual finish to the edited movie. Erections are often maintained for the rest of the filming with the help of pills, fluffers and rest breaks. So we can all relax, and forget about comparing ourselves to the unrealistic version of sex portrayed in most porn!
same with me. Sometimes I'm cumming too quick but I like to please my wife first which sometimes doesn't help because I get so turned on. Learnt that if we just go straight to sex I last a lot longer and can control myself. Hope this is helpful in some wayIan Chimp wrote:
There are delay lubes, spray and creams but they seem to have mixed results according to their reviews. If you can grab some on offer they might be worth a try?
A lot of people recommend 'edging' as a way to improve control. Basically you stimulate yourself just until the point where you're about to cum and then immediately stop touching yourself, wait until you've calmed down a bit, and then start stimulating yourself again. Repeat this for as long as you can/have time for. Doing this regularly can improve your stamina and give you a better awareness of your 'point-of-no-return' (so you know when to take a pause and mix it up a bit until you're ready to carry on).
Hope this helps. 🙂
As many have said and I have found usefull , put time aside for solo play enjoy extended play time find out when to close to coming is the point of no return and learn how to hold back.
I've also found a lot of ladies don't just come from penetration, ask her what she likes and wants and enjoy rather than stressing and stressing never helps the situation.
Good luck.
I developed this problem with my partner I started out with at 25. First two years great. The last year I would cum pretty much as soon as I entered her. I loved her so much and it got worse every time. After we finished, problem went away for good.
The way I see it the quicker you come the higher your sex drive normally is, as you get older and you don't want sex as much so it becomes easier to last longer as you start to lose your drive, just keep shagging away why you have the drive, lasting longer will come when you are older, I am in my 40s and still need/like to come 2 to 3 times a day.