i was hoping that i could get sum advice, i have never spoken about this with anyone and really hope im not making a fool outa myself here...
basically i am a mum of 3 and i feel like my body is so battered from having kids that i just cant b sexy anymore :(
me and hubby have sex regularly but if i catch a glimse of myself in the mirror it really makes me sad!
so i bought sum bits from here recently and just looking at them turned me on, but wen i put them on i feel like mutton dressed as lamb...i am curvy and i love being like that but mayb im just super over analysing me....??
if anyone has any tips or advice i would really love to hear it...thank u
Curvy is HOT dont let anyone tell you different, you should your love body- it gave you your children and i bet your hubby agrees. Be happy in your skin and feel good for YOU no one else xxxxx
Fabb, I know it's not always easy to believe what people say but from how you describe yourself you sound very sexy. At the end of the day I guess we're our own worst critics?
Need a bit of TLC it seems to me....need to feel all girly and sexy...get in the bath, relax, get all smooth and oiled up, put on some make up, get a hircut (or style it), be daring and dont be scared to try new stuff, put on some makeup, paint your nails, some sexy music, have some red wine- always makes me horny lol...and have some fun, alone or with OH. Make him notice you and see his little eyes light up...sounds like you need some attention and to be told you look hot...nothing wrong with reminding him!!! We are have days every once in a while (and longer sometimes) when we lack confidence but pick yourself up, brush yourself off and unleash the inner minx (you know you are!!) xxx
My sex life dwindled after my second child as I just didnt feel sexy at all. My Partner would tell me I looked it, but unless you feel it yourself it doesnt matter.
They say sexyness comes from confidence, so maybe do something that makes you feel good about yourself. I like to dress up in lingerie, have my hair done, have a long bath and de-hair, exfoliate, moisturise, self tan(if Im feeling pasty), do my nails, etc etc.
But yeah....I bet your hubby thinks youre a goddess, and worships your curves! xxx
i know im new on here and a man, but i do have to say i think u are over analysing yourself, i know ur husband will love seeing you in your new items. and im sure you will make them look sexy.
my partner was like that at first with me, but i give her lots of compliments everyday and she knows that i find her very sexy.
never forget men love curvy women and not stick insects.
hope this helps, as i know how hard it is to believe you are sexy, when you over analyse.
i havent had any children yet but i have always felt horrible if i looked in a mirror, my partner loves me just the way i am and thinks i am very sexy, definately pamper urself but do what ur comfortable with, im sure ur hubby thinks ur sexy so just trying ur new things will get his attention im sure, it sounds like u look fab anyway so please dont over analyse urself or feel bad about urself coz u have NO NEED to :))
i had almost forgotten wot that word pamper was until u all mentioned it!!!
thank you all so much for your advice and its been hard with the kids and the daily grind, that id forgotten to just take 5 and look after me...
i will most def make time to have a soak (believe it or not its been about 2yrs since i soaked in the tub!) and look after me for a little while. i think iv earned it!
i am new on here too, as a mum that is defo no stick insect either i so know where you are at fabb was exactly the same afew years back , i too brought some new stuff from another well known site, looked so sexy on model in picture not so fab on me so hid it away got it out looked at it hid it away again then one day give my self a pep talk spent sometime on me for a change grooming etc nice smellies bath, large glass of wine, arranged house to ourselves and put on said items to suprised OH that night when he got home from work ( he had no idea) well OH was gob smacked the look on his face and his little lit up eyes gave me all the confidence boost i needed. DO IT GIRL !!!!! have fun sweetie :)
We have two kids and the yougest is now 2, and my wife is just getting back into shape. It takes time, and as you've noticed, the time goes by and you begin to think you're horrible and will be forever. Neither of these is true: who cares if you have some wobbly bits? I doubt if your OH does. Who looks like the airbrushed photos in magazines? NOBODY - not even the models themselves.
If you're over the weight you're comfortable with, you'll get it back down eventually, and in the meantime, just don't go squeezing yourself into clothes that are too tight - if you only have one great outfit, get something that fits, get some high quality undies and regularly get a bra fitting from a really good fitter, as your shape changes pretty much all the time.
If you add a little bit to your self-care routine every now and again you can start to pay yourself more attention. 3 children doesn't leave you much time, but if you spend an extra few minutes on yourself, they'll not miss it and you will feel better for it. It almost doesn't matter WHAT you do, it's the fact you're doing something thst will get you on the road to feeling better about yourself. It's so easy (well, not physically) to spend all your time on the family that you end up at the bottom of the heap. And while your OH can help, you need to devote some of YOUR energy to YOURSELF. It's not a sex thing - you can do that in the dark - but it's about making yourself an individual again, not just a milk-machine and nappy changer.
alot of women get own after having kids, having stretch marks and everything else that comes with having them but im sure you wouldnt be without them now and im sure your OH still loves your body and finds you a turn on.
it might be the type of underwear you were going for, try maybe a babydoll or a corset they both work well for curvy women who arent quite comfortable with their bodies.
Am totally agreeing with Chesty100 on this one! I have 3 under 4's and my man is away for weeks at a time so most of the time I don't have to worry about looking or feeling sexy but when I know he's coming home I do start to panic a bit. I always try and get an hour to myself before going to pick him up from the airport so I can have a nice bath, play some music, do my hair, get a full face of make up on etc. Having some 'me' time definitley helps with feeling sexy, gives time to think about what might happen later ;)
Fabb, I'm sure your OH will find whatever you wear sexy!! I wore some stuff last week that I didn't think was sexy at all but my OH loved it. I don't think it's our underwear they're after ;)