I feel weirdly protective of all of the kind souls on this forum. With yourself and @Orgasm_Chaser being hurt by men I’m so ready to throw hands. Neither of you deserve the hand of cards you’ve been dealt here, and I really hope you both meet the right people soon who will give you their time, effort and affection- at the very least!
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Firstly - sorry for your situation…it’s horrible being in a spot like that…but secondly - from my experience if your gut is telling you it’s not right - it’s probably not right.
I’ve told many a friend in similar situations that you have to put yourself first. I know it can seem selfish but you only live one life, and I know from personal experience that you’ll probably look back with regret if you carry it on any longer (and then it’ll probably end up exactly the same just a few years later)
Thoughts are with you - you’ll do the right thing I sure! And there will probably be someone more suited for you just around the corner!
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Take care of yourself lovely xxx
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Dear @Cassii, I can understand your pain. I had a similar although much shorter relationship when I was younger. Great sex and lots of attraction but not a lot aside from that, which at the time ripped my heart out.
I think you have already decided in your heart of hearts, but actually taking that decision is hard.
If I was a real life friend I would be querying why you think the sex is so good given what you say in your longer post, and I’d be wondering about the secrecy, but those are things you might not want to post about.
I learned that 3 things are important in a lasting relationship, and of course lots of people are happy with short term relationships which are just fun - no judgement. But you don’t sound to be having much fun.
-
You need to be attracted to each other and to be (or have the capacity to be) on the same page sexually
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You need to be compatible: get along well sharing a space, have similar values.
I’m not sure it matters if people have different interests: if one enjoys rock-climbing and the other keeps cats, it’s something to nice talk about over dinner - but compatibility and shared values count for a lot. -
You need to want the same things in life.
In a short term relationship this might not matter, but when long term couples change what they want from life it can be a big thing. So, anyone looking for something which can last needs to make sure they and their partner want roughly the same thing for at least 5 - 10 years. Marriage? Kids? Cats? Travel? This is a big thing and often the reason people split despite having 1 & 2 above.
Only you can assess the strengths and weaknesses of your own relationship, and you sound very clear about it all. I think you might have 1 but not necessarily 2 and 3.
It’s horrible to go through, but if you keep in mind what you ultimately want then I think you will find it.
Don’t let anyone treat you badly, even if they are good in bed. The rest of a good relationship is an extension of that intimacy.
Big hugs - it isn’t easy but if you decide to make the break there really are a lot of good people out there (who are also good in bed). 
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It sounds like a horrible situation @Cassii. Existence is change and better times lie ahead. Take care. 
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I bit the bullet yesterday and ended things. Starting that conversation was incredibly difficult, but we talked through everything in a calm and friendly way. Our close friendship is intact and I feel we will keep that closeness. It was pretty much a perfect resolution and I feel so much lighter now the weight is off my mind.
I’m feeling really positive about the future today.
Thank you all for your advice and support, it really helped me face up to my unhappiness and commit to fixing it
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@Cassii I really hope that you find what you are looking for hun as U2 once sang! They will be out there waiting for you, you just got to meet them once you have met them they will be really lucky to have you 
good luck to you hun and well done I am glad you feel better 
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Good luck @Cassii - I related to a lot of your original message, after I split up with the guy, I spent about a month randomly smiling from how light everything felt!
@BLovesC - I can’t speak for Cassii, but I know for myself, I’m really bad at putting myself first, and my ex certainly wasn’t going to! He was really surprised when I dumped him, he assumed the fact that I put him first meant I cared more about the relationship than he did. His constant refrain during our relationship was “you look after me so well” which quickly became a slap in the face reminding me that he’d done almost nothing that could constitute “looking after” - I definitely need a reminder every now and then that it’s healthy to be selfish, and expect something back, hopefully I can remember that for the next relationship!
@Ian_Chimp The formatting options are my new favourite thing!
Summary
Made you look! x
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Well done @Cassii 
so pleased you put yourself first and that the outcome was what you hoped for. Now onwards and upwards!
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