I came across this question recently on the Yes/No game. It got me thinking what would have been the outcome if I or others made a different choice?
For axample Mrs HH once said What if her dad had not decided to change jobs and move back to Hampshire, she and I would never had met and our children would not exist.
Or perhaps more appropriate to the LH forum:
I was once in a meeting sitting next to an attactive woman, she put her hand on my thigh and offered herself to me. What if rather than politely declining her kind offer and removing her hand from my thigh, I placed it on my cock?
I was wondering if anyone has their own what if moments?
I think I might have asked that question. I guess we all have had them. How would things have turned out if we made a different choice. My wife and I split up when we were going out with each other. We both started another relationship and only ended up back together as a result of a chance meeting in a different city.
We wouldn't be married with a beautifull daughter if we hadn't rekindled what we once had.
I ask myself this question a lot, about various events / decisions. I think it's mainly because my life turned out very different to what I had worked / hoped / planned for.
I always do this, I look back and wonder what if for alot of situations in my life, my mind runs away with itself most of the time, I think its natural to think back on certain things, I do believe in everything happens for a reason so where ever I am In my life it's meant to be but I do wonder what if.
I'm stuck in a crossroads situation right now which I bet I will be looking back on one day wondering "what if?" about - whether to move to my OH's city or have him move here instead.
you will look back no matter what you decide to do, I've been in a similar situation and I moved and we split so I moved back, I still wonder what my life would of been like If I had stayed all this time. wonder if I would of been settled down with someone, have a family etc, the mind makes you wonder so much
nope, i do look back and reminisce, but i prefer\to live for the moment and look forward to the future. My wife bless her expends too much energy looking backwards at things that give no added value/pleasure purely winding herself up.
the biggest reason i dont look back and do the 'what if' is because you can imagine any outcome your mind wants, reality would likely have been different - and let's face it, we're not going to imagine anything bad would have come from taking the alternative path are we.
in the example above 'what would have happended if i'd moved her hand to my cock'.....your brain will tell you that you'd have had the most exquisite sexual encounter ever, not that you'd catch a dose, your wife would leave you and take the dog.
Its best not to dwell to much on it. With the benefit of hindsight, I can say I would have done a lot of things differently. What's the point in looking back, its all completly random.
I have a slightly cynical outlook on this. I look back on what's happened and realise that it was all the result of a random sequence of events. I look back with fond sentimentality at the things I considered positive and I rue the things I feel have slipped or were taken away from me.
At the end of the day it's all been a result of my actions and I take comfort in know that because it means I have a chance to change it in the future.
the biggest reason i dont look back and do the 'what if' is because you can imagine any outcome your mind wants, reality would likely have been different - and let's face it, we're not going to imagine anything bad would have come from taking the alternative path are we.
in the example above 'what would have happended if i'd moved her hand to my cock'.....your brain will tell you that you'd have had the most exquisite sexual encounter ever, not that you'd catch a dose, your wife would leave you and take the dog.
I completely agree with this. I also think that any 'bad' situs I've ever been in have lead to something amazingly good so wouldn't want to change any bits.
I believe everything you do in your life the choices you make are for the right reasons and things are set out that way you just need to make the choice .
I left home at 16 best thing I ever did I never think what if I didnt leave home where i would be now, your life choices create your future and you have your future because you made that choice.
The biggest thing I've taken from the 'sliding doors' moments is that you learn from the past. There are things in the past which haven't worked out well which I would have regretted a few years ago but I realise now they have helped make mew the person that I am. Hopefully your 'what if' moments eventually make you wiser.
In the example above 'what would have happended if i'd moved her hand to my cock'.....your brain will tell you that you'd have had the most exquisite sexual encounter ever, not that you'd catch a dose, your wife would leave you and take the dog.
Haha, this paragraph made me laugh!
I don't tend to think back at 'what if', because any decisions i've made i have felt were the right thing at the time and i'm happy with that.
During my early twenties i decided that in times of indecision i would rather do things and regret it than not do it and always wonder 'what if', so that's what i've done and it seems to have panned out quite well!
I never regret anything on the basis that you (almost) never know the knock-on consequences had things been different and, with a lovely wife, two wonderful daughters, and enough to live on, I'm more than happy with my lot.
I say 'almost' never know because, I'm fairly certain, had I finished my Ph.D on time, I would have died over 30 years ago as this was the sad fate of the very fine man who took on the job I would otherwise have taken.
Several years ago I decided that wondering "what if" is a waste of time and energy. I am happy with many of the decisions I made, but mostly I made them for the wrong reasons. Reality always defies our expectations.
But, just to play, and to limit myself to matters of the heart . . . What if I had accepted the courship of a very nice fellow student when I was in college? I might have married him and not have made some grievous errors of judgment later in my life. But at that point I was imagining I might be a lesbian, and experimenting with same-sex love.
On the other hand, I might not have moved overseas, and not known my current lover, with whom I am very happy.