Evolution of fantasies

A quick reminder before we start that LH sex starts at 18, and to be careful of being overly explicit - but something I lay awake thinking about after the wind and rain woke me this morning...

Have your fantasies changed much from when you first started forming them? Sex is certainly a voyage of self discovery, so it's only natural that they will, but are they completely different, or are the underlying themes the same, and you've just evolved or changed scenarios slightly?

Did you go on to act out any fantasies you had when you were younger, or did they fall by the wayside as you gained experience? Maybe you tried something and found you didn't like the reality as much, and wished it had stayed pure fantasy?

Myself, as a slow starter and shy person when I was younger, definitely identified with wanting a female to take the lead...but it took many years to become 'comfortable' enough with my submissive tendencies to identify with them publicly.

I also spent many years wondering what it'd be like to sleep with a guy, but the reality didn't feel as natural to me as I thought it would. I can find men's faces attractive, and I love receiving anal, but I don't find the rest of their bodies as attractive, and I've certainly never fallen for a guy (their personalities tend to get in the way of that!). And despite the reality not living up to the fantasy I still do harbour fantasies about being 'used' by guys, especially for oral. Weird?

My dominant side has definitely evolved too. I don't recall ever having any fantasies of that nature when I was younger; yet I now identify as a switch, and I love dominating a woman. Maybe that's tied in with confidence levels, or maybe not - anyone here knew from a young (18) age that they were a strong dominant, and if so, did you feel confident in all other aspects of your life?

Lots of food for thought here 😊

If being totally honest they have gotten muckier and perhaps murkier as well. But I will just leave it at that ! 😈

Good luck with your thread my friend and see if it lasts! Lol

I think my fantasies have changed a bit ,they're certainly more way-out and much more filthy than they used to be . One of the changes is that I'm starting to take more of a dominant role in a few of them although overall I'm still more of a submissive .
I certainly couldn't get away with doing some of these things in real life ( they'd probably outrage public decency),well not without the police getting involved but that's another fantasy !
I have gone on to act out some of the tamer ones but to be honest they were more exciting in the actual fantasy . It's weird that you can spend years thinking about a scenario but when you actually do it sometimes it's a bit of a letdown but that's the nature of fantasy ...it's personal to you and if your partner doesn't fully share it then it just doesn't seem to work so well .

I guess I'm pretty weird, but I have gone from not having any fantasies at all to having a few pretty tame fantasies (mostly involving bondage). Earlier I haven't had any fantasies at all even though I have enjoyed sex which to me seems quite weird. Since I found Lovehoney I have been having some fantasies which I think is good progress :)

Sxleksaker wrote:

I guess I'm pretty weird, but I have gone from not having any fantasies at all to having a few pretty tame fantasies (mostly involving bondage). Earlier I haven't had any fantasies at all even though I have enjoyed sex which to me seems quite weird. Since I found Lovehoney I have been having some fantasies which I think is good progress :)

I'm very similar, when I joined lovehoney, I had no fantasies at all. Now I have . . . Well I'm not sure they are fantasies but bondage scenarios, or dreams on how I would like things to go, or what I would like doing to me.

I have always enjoyed sex but I never thought bondage would be for me, I'm amazed how much I enjoy it, and it's a regular part of our fun.

Mine have definitely become dirtier as I've got older. I've loved the evolution of my fantasies and almost thinking 'Wow, ok, I like that now then!' There is nothing wrong with changing your mind on things - variety is the spice of life!

I'm very lucky to have an understanding OH who lets me play them out... for the most part! Patience and communication is key. Lovehoney has been great in helping us explore our sexual sides as a long term couple.

The line in the Blur song, End Of A Century comes to mind... 'The mind gets dirty, as you get closer to thirty...'

I'd agree that mine have definitely got more adventurous as I've got older.

I still love the idea of my older romantic ones :

Making love under the stars, making love on a four poster bed or in front of a roaring fire

but in my newer fantasies I've become much more of an exhibitionist and would love to be:

taken in front of a city hotel window completely naked apart from heels, a collar and a masquerade mask, taken after hours on a huge desk in an office with a city skyline view, taken up against a wall somewhere outside. All things I am far too shy and cautious to actually do in real life especially now as a wife and mother.

I have other darker fantasies that I'm actually quite shocked with myself about but would never, ever entertain doing any of them in real life. I could never cope with them mentally, physically or emotionally.

I think the whole thing about fantasies is that you can enjoy them totally in your own head without regret, repercussions and consequences whereas some could cause huge problems if acted on in real life and are really not worth the risk.

The chances of the reality matching up to the fantasy are very, very slim in many cases. Although some can easily be adapted or tweaked to work within a relationship as long as everyone is okay with them and some I think personally are best kept to ourselves.

Mine too have got dirtier as My expectations and experiences has increased

I'm not so sure that mine have actually got any dirtier, but maybe because things I've always fantasised about such as pegging form a normal and regular part of my sexlife, yet if I tell ppl in real life what I get up to some are quite shocked.

I guess I've always been a bit kinky though...

I've always been kinky but I didn't realise the extent of it! Once upon a time, just the thought of someone tweaking my nipples would horrify me, and clamps? Not a chance! But now, I thoroughly enjoy nipple play, and the pain that can come with it. That's the soft version of how things have changed 😂
I've always liked to be restricted and restrained, and I've always liked the idea of it rough, but just now realising how much, so it's been a gradual evolution I think.

fifty shades has a lot to answer for lol

Mine stay the same in that the bloke takes charge sometime i dominate but not often, romantic ones are beaches, huge beds when I say huge I mean triple kingsized. Forests, always crushes.

Well done guys for keeping this thread clean and free of graphics.👏

I don't remember having any before I met my oh apart from watching a film one night (first one I'd ever seen with a sex scene in it) when I was about 13 and a couple were going at it in a hayloft in a barn. I've been searching for a suitable barn ever since. No luck as yet 😐
The others from teenage years involved pop stars (never going to happen).

Now I have new ones all of the time which can be so outlandish and involve something I would never really want to happen in real life. Or they are memories that I would like to repeat at that moment or something I would consider doing with my oh. When any fantasies are acted out with oh they are normally better than the fantasy itself as oh will add to it and they tend to be about bdsm.

I don't remember really having any fantasies until I was in my early 20s. They started just being replays or merging of things I had done with people but a few years ago they started being more fantasy than reality. Now they almost always include extreme degradation and violence. I couldn't safely or practically do 90% of my fantasies but at least I have a way to experience them safely.

I have recently had a couple of fantasies about someone I met but haven't slept with which is extremely unusual for me. I doubt we will ever go through with it (he seemed to want to but he has a girlfriend) but I think it would be very strange if we did because it might be nothing like in my fantasy.