A few years ago I started seeing a girl who wanted to be exclusive FWB so that we could have sex unprotected. I was very down because she was my my first time getting back into sex after my ex. We got tested and started hooking up a few times a week.
One night she was out and didn’t text me until late the next day. She said she hooked up with someone else and felt awful. They used a condom apparently and I know it’s not really cheating but we shared moments and I still feel jaded from it
It can be hard to keep feelings out of a FWB situation especially when you then start spending plenty of intimate time together and in ways it does become a relationship without labels so I can defo see how it’s effected you… maybe if it’s proving tough on your mind at the moment, it might be worth having a short step back to allow yourself to see other people and disconnect a little.
Or alternatively having a chat with her and see if actually you both want a relationship together?
She absolutely cheated on you and your feelings are valid. Its irrelevant that you didn’t have a romantic relationship, you made promises to one another that stemmed from her wanting to be exclusive so that you could ditch the protection.
It is good that she told you, but I would be ordering an STD test, just to be sure.
Yeah she said she wore a condom but literally the first thing we talked about was how much we both hated using them. She came over and we tried to have sex but I couldn’t get hard. Just the thought of someone else inside her bothered me.
I can’t have a relationship with someone who can’t remember that she’s only fucking me. I couldn’t get hard when she tried to give me an apology blow job and thinking about someone else inside her really bothered me.
She said it didn’t mean anything but it did to me so yeah.
I’m so sorry that this happened to you. I’m polyamorous and I was with someone and we were supposed to be in a “closed quad” (just the two couples), however, my other parther arranged to meet someone else on a whim once and didn’t tell me about it because it “happened so fast”. Worse, he even expected me to forgive him because the other person (presumed to be a girl as that’s what he usually chases) cancelled on him, so “nothing actually happened”. To me it’s not the act, it’s the principle - whether he did or he didn’t, he was going to break our rules and cheat on me, and that is unforgiveable. He now misses me and writes about me, but oh well - I’m living my best life now free of their stupid rules, the pair of them were toxic and disrespectful to me.
It hurts now, but take faith in the the knowledge that you were faithful to her, you were a good person and you deserve better. Sending big hugs, love yourself first and everything else will fall into place 
So guess it’s kinda answered things that this FWB arrangement is now over 
Yeah it was definitely over after that. It was fun while it lasted and the sex was phenomenal but I cant be wondering if she’s sleeping around when we’re not together
That’s awful I’m so sorry.
Thanks and I do feel good about being faithful to our arrangement. It would have been different if she didn’t suggest being each others only partners and her being excited about it.
I’ve had other arrangements where the FWB and I are fine to see other people we just need to test regularly. If she hadn’t said the exclusive part I would have kept seeing her.
I was hooking up with another girl around that time that I had to cut things off with cause of her too
It’s amazing how the ones who want to impose such rules are often the same ones who go on and break them. It sounds to me like she wanted to secure you as a backup option while she explored other options, unfortunately, that’s certainly what I think my ex did too - they can’t hack that they’re not the God’s gift that they think they are so they need a plan B in case their plan A rejects them.
To be honest I didn’t really want my ex at first anyway; I’d just broken up with someone else and was confiding in him as a friend when he told me that he liked me. I was surprised by it but agreed to date him because he was such a good friend to me and I felt like I owed him a chance to make me happy. More fool me, he just saw an opportunity.
If it’s fair all round then that’s fair and it wouldn’t have bothered me. Like you, it was that he was going to meet others while I wasn’t allowed to meet others that really pushed me to the limit.
I fully empathise with you having to break up with the other girl too. To be honest, if the one before had sorted his stuff out then just maybe we might have been okay, it was the more recent ex distracting me and complicating things that leave me wondering what might have happened there. I won’t ever forgive him for that, he should have stayed in his lane and carried on being a good friend.
I hope I wasnt a back up plan cause she said she ended things with a guy after our second time hooking up because she said she was getting everything she needed sexually from me and that’s all she was wanting at the time.
I’m almost thinking she caught feelings and needed an easy out or something.
It’s possible but do you really want to be with someone who cheats on you instead of tell the truth? You deserve better than that, remember that.
No absolutely not. I dealt with that before and took them back and they did it again with the same person.
At the very least I can recognize that she did help me get my confidence in sex back. I lost it for a bit after my last break up.
She definitely showed me how much I love going down on girls and that transferred very well to other girls. She’d almost crush my head with her legs when she’d cum and I’d be drowning simultaneously.
Never take an ex back, exes are exes for a reason. Love yourself first and you won’t ever need anyone else.
I’m sorry to hear about your confidence too. I had an ex wreck mine a bit but again you have to remember they never deserved you. The last I heard mine is now divorced - he was trying to hide me from his wife and was abusing me when I wouldn’t let him. Karma comes for them in the end, you know you did right by her and that’s what matters.
I’ve read your other comments on other threads that you cheated on a gf and that you have a fantasy about cheating on your gf with her best friend. Wondering what the point of this thread was now? Do you think cheating is only bad when you’re the one being cheated on?
Those threads are truthfully just stuff I write out to get out of my head as a kink fantasy type thing that I type out when I’ve had a couple drinks.
This is a real thing that did happen. I probably should make people aware that those are purely fantasy
Quite sad but longterm it’ll be for the best and if you get into another FWB situation again maybe it’d be wise to discuss boundaries and things so both are on same page
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