Feel highly insulted

So my boyfriend said texted me earlier and asked if I was cheating on him because I seem distant lately. Isn't that just an extremely offensive thing to ask someone? Of course I'm not cheating on him, I think he's amazing and would never do that to him. I understand insecurity but I feel so offended and insulted by the fact he even asked me that!

hmmmm, being distant with your boyfriend for no reason. I wonder why he asked you that?

I have reasons, he just never asked me why

Did you tell him not to be silly or did you give him both barrels?

So tell him the reasons and stop playing games with him.

Lol I'm not, I never realised I was being distant until he mentioned it

And you are offended and insulted by him asking! Seems a reasonable question to me.

I'm sorry to read this Kittycat. Well where I come from that's a pretty straight forward thing to ask someone if you're worried at all about a relationship, but that's how we do things in Ozz. I wouldn't feel too insulted! he's worried and obviously adores you. I would jsut give him some reasurance that he's still your world and you his!

I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of response you were after.

Ozz wrote:

I'm sorry to read this Kittycat. Well where I come from that's a pretty straight forward thing to ask someone if you're worried at all about a relationship, but that's how we do things in Ozz. I wouldn't feel too insulted! he's worried and obviously adores you. I would jsut give him some reasurance that he's still your world and you his!

I'm sorry if this isn't the kind of response you were after.

I wasn't after any kind of response, just not sure how to react to something like that apart from the way I feel. But I think you're right :)

Id be insulted. Theres over 1000000000000 other reasons for being distant, some of which might involve you not being alright and he jumped straight to asking if you are cheating? Sounds like he has some trust issues.

If my girlfriend was distant, id ask her if she was ok.

Dali256 wrote:

Id be insulted. Theres over 1000000000000 other reasons for being distant, some of which might involve you not being alright and he jumped straight to asking if you are cheating? Sounds like he has some trust issues.

If my girlfriend was distant, id ask her if she was ok.

+1

I wouldnt feel insulted, men can feel just as insecureas us girls at times

Prehaps this is his way of asking you whats going on, sometimes they just arent very good at come straight out with are you ok.., prehaps he freaked out...

I do hope you reassured him :) men can be just as complicated as us ;)

Kittycat102 wrote:

Lol I'm not, I never realised I was being distant until he mentioned it

Kittycat102 wrote:

I have reasons, he just never asked me why

So, are you being distant or not ? You seem to contradict yourself.

What I'm saying is, I didn't realise I was being all that distant. Maybe just distracted but not much different from my usual self. I guess I was wrong though

Sounds like he had a knee jerk reaction to your moodiness.

Sorry, don't mean to be insensitive but this is a pretty funny thread generated by your question Kitty. With the quick fire questions and answers 😂

For what it's worth I think it's a healthy enough straight question. Maybe delivered a bit blunt. Doesn't mean he truly meant it, perhaps just wanted to cut through the crap and find out what's going on.

Wish more people would be so direct tbh! Save a lot of wasted time on bs!

Seems like a bit of an over reaction from both parties!

It would perhaps be more useful to be concerned than insulted. I mean, it's a worrying sign that he'd jump to that conclusion, it would certainly be more helpful to figure out why that is than to be offended. There could be something specific about your behaviour towards him that is making him feel like you're not so into him or, indeed, that you are more into someone else. He could have a hang up from a previous partner cheating on him, it's hard to get over that. It could just have been a thoughtless statement! You'll never know unless you talk about it.

At the very least, he has let you know that you've made him feel insecure and telling him off for insulting you certainly won't make him feel any better. If you truly understood that kind of insecurity, you'd understand that it is never a question thrown around as an insult. 

+1 I agree I'd be furious if my fella asked if I was cheating just because he could tell I'm not myself. My fella can tell if there's something on my mind, most of the time we talk about whatever is bothering me, others, I don't want to put my issues on him so I say I'll be fine and try pulling myself out of the dark place I'm in.
Bearing in mind I don't know his circumstances, he may well be an insecure guy cos believe me most men are just as, if not, more insecure than us girls!
Talking to your boyfriend would be the best way to go, explain how hurt you felt by him saying that. I'm sure you'll work things out with him. Xxxx

I can see how you're offended but at the same time, as a very sensitive person, as soon as my OH starts being distant it's my first thought, even if deep down you know it's not true you just have to say it to get it off your chest. I had a massive cry last night over the same thing. Just tell him why you're being distant, and don't avoid anything, you can tell you're hiding something and it just feels like the whole thing is a lie