To everyone with a male partner, how do you make them feel desired without sexual acts (sex, blowjobs etc)? As a man, I sometimes feel I am not desired and I tend to blame it on myself. Probably due to a little lack in confidence. I talked with my partner about it and she’s not sure how to go about it. Thanks for any help!
For my wife, I usually comment how she good looks, tell her I love her, hugs, a small shoulder rub, tell her I am thinking about her when we are not together. I always try to make sure that I’m not overbearing.
Agreed @AllenTries . These need to be sincere and come from the heart. Compliments are not a currency to reciprocate love and affection. My wife’s “love bucket” gets filled with what I feel are some ridiculous items, but that is who she is.
If I spend and hour reading with the kids and make their lunches for school the next day, that gets me further than buying her a necklace or giving a massage. It’s not to say those things are unappreciated, it just means that they aren’t as important to her even though I think I am being super generous.
It’s something I am learning but not very good at yet…
I tell Mr John that I appreciate him.
Make sure I thank him for the little stuff ,warming food up (I generally cook),putting petrol in my car, doing the ironing etc.
I tell him he looks / smells good.
A bum grab or even a random cwtch go down well.
Everyday I tell him that I love him, a quite a few times. And I make sure he knows that he’s my everything, my rock. Which he is and I don’t know where I’d be without him. I show him with hugs, kisses, and all other kinds of affection (other than sexual). I love grooming his beard with all the products, when he’s not well, I’ll look after him, stand by him what ever decision he makes regarding life choices. I’m always telling him how good he looks and smells nice too, telling him that I appreciate that everything he does for me I tell him too that I think about him all the time when we’re not together, but somehow it turns into a naughty phonecall
Little things both ways. Saying good morning/night, helping eachother with things, listening, giving advice, supporting each other through choices/hard times. I haven’t done it in a while but I used to write my OH little notes to find in his work diary. For him also he likes cuddles/kisses/closeness. Buying him his favourite chocolate/drink if I’m out to bring home.
Similar things that everyone else has said about being loving and caring, but also… The penis dance.
Everytime my hubby gets changed so his penis is exposed, I ask for the penis dance (like a helicopter and waving it around). I always thought it was just a quirky thing, but he said everytime I ask for it it shows I love his body (which I do!)
It’s different for each couple - that old cliche, but I know when I feel low or not desired, I look at what I am doing as sometimes, we want comfort but are not giving it out either.
If I feel unwanted, I often give a massage to my wife and this will trigger a course of events.
Not saying you are doing anything wrong, but going above what you normally do, will trigger your partners mind and they may return the favour.
Sometimes, a nice hug is all I want - but if I am not giving them too, how do I know, she doesn’t want one too?
with all the products, when he’s not well, I’ll look after him, stand by him what ever decision he makes regarding life choices. I’m always telling him how good he looks and smells nice too, telling him that I appreciate that everything he does for me 
I tell him too that I think about him all the time when we’re not together, but somehow it turns into a naughty phonecall 
x
It is nice to feel appreciated for the nice things you do but it’s another thing to feel desired