Feeling lost

I ain’t got a clue what’s going on with me and just wondering if anyone else is going through the same thing or been through the same thing.

I’ve bought a good selection of toys and lingerie over the past year. I’ve used them all, took photos and overall enjoyed it.

Lately however I’ve asked myself what I’m doing. I feel ugly for want of a better word, feel disgusted with myself and really unhappy. I don’t know how to get back on track or even if I want to get back on track.

I binned a lot of my toys yesterday as I just don’t know what I’m doing or what I want anymore.

Anyone got a magic wand?

Sorry to hear you are feeling lost. I should say I am too. So here is some advice that I am going to give to you, myself and anyone else who needs it. These are practical things from books and blogs. I look forward to hearing what others may suggest.

  • Write down what made you feel good about yourself, forget about what you think others think about you
  • Practice some self love - go to your favourite place for a coffee, read a book, do some yoga or meditation
  • Stay offline for a couple of days, remove distractions
  • Find some quiet
  • Go for a walk, whatever the weather. Try the middle of the day, vitamin D will have dipped in the winter months
  • Take a multi vitamin, have some fruit

Thank you @MrSilverback

Sorry to hear you’re lost too.
I can’t do the first one but what others think about me doesn’t really matter, whether they praise me or not, it’s how I feel about myself I can’t get my head around.

I can go to my happy place at the weekend with my flask and sit looking at the sea :smiling_face_with_three_hearts:

Staying ofline is doable :crossed_fingers:t2:

Finding some quiet will be at my happy place with just a few dog walkers passing by.

I walk at least 6 miles a day so that one’s easy :blush:

I have fruit in smoothies :blush: never been one for taking vitamins

Thanks again for your advice, I’ll see what I can get through :blush: hope you’re ok


I feel this way often. And usually it is because of an imbalance in my life. When things are good (work, money, confidence, etc) I feel good. When things are low and I feel lost it is because of something I am lacking or have neglected.

My usual issue is work stress and lack of “fun”. It also comes from procrastination on items that I haven’t gotten done and then I spiral into this parallel universe where I start to make up shit in my head and worse yet, I start to believe it is true.

Currently I am job searching as I hate my job. But I feel trapped as Mrs. Val isn’t working and I need to keep the pay coming in but I hate my life.

I also hate conflict and there is nothing but conflict at my office. The whole job is full of it so I need to make a dramatic change so that I don’t die of a jammer doing a job I hate.

I also tend to need more “fun” in my life. Fun in a group, with my kids, or on my own and when I feel lost or unbalanced there, everything else suffers.

@MrSilverback is pretty spot on. Take a break from here, from sex, from everything for a bit. Go bake something, go for a hike, read something stimulating.

It sounds like you have forgotten who you are. The further you stray from yourself, the more lost you feel. Tie back into your roots, go see your parents, or do something completely opposite of what you want to do. Try to remember who you are.

It may just be a phase. Hang in there!



I’m so glad I’m not alone. That said, I’m sorry you’re going through it too. You could have a point with how you feel when everything is good. I had a birthday last month and felt down then because I should’ve been retired 4 years ago but have to keep working till I’m 66 as the government changed it.

Your work sure sounds like labour​:worried:it must be a horrible atmosphere, I wouldn’t want to work there either. Good luck with the job hunting.
My work is generally happy as I look after kids and basically play and have fun all day.

Some of my kids have been taking me out at weekends to go climbing, hiking or just to parks with their kids but last weekend I just couldn’t wait to get back home.

My local fireman won’t let me bake :joy:

I think I have forgotten who I am. I’m a daughter, sister, mum, granny and great granny but remove all these labels and I’m nobody.

Thank you, I hope things work out for you soon and you find another job quickly and have fun again :blush:

Really sorry to hear that @Amunique, you’re a lovely kind Lady, sending lots of hugs :slightly_frowning_face::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:

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You do want to get back on track, thats why you started this thread! This is a whole ramble, hold on to your britches :rofl:

I’m sorry you’re feeling rubbish lovely. The obvious advice is going to see a Dr and seeing if you can get a referral for some counselling because talking about how shite you feel does help. Even if its just saying the things out loud. Referrals take ages unless you go private and thats fkn expensive. Do you have a good friend that you can empty your feelings bucket on to?

Writing your feelings can be really therapeutic too as can beating the crap out of a pillow.

I think this time of year messes with a lot of people, we’re getting over the tail end of winter, its been fkn cold and now its snowing again. But feeling the apricity lets you know that there is still hope in the air.
I know you walk loads already, find somewhere new to walk, change the scenery and put yourself in front of something beautiful.

Maybe loving yourself is too vast a task right now, maybe being kind to yourself is enough for now. Baby steps. Show yourself the same kindness as you do for everyone else.

If the forum isn’t making you happy then take some time away, I do think there’s a lot of support here and there’s a whole thread made for ranting that you could use.


Thanks for your kind words and hugs @Knight1119 :blush: hope you’re ok


Thanks @JoCat

I don’t know if it warrants going to see a doctor. I don’t have close friends, I tend to keep myself to myself and my kids are worried about my health so can’t put this on them too.

I write all my feelings into poems and that usually does help, but only managing a few lines lately.

It is a crap time of year with the cold and dark mornings though the nights are lighter longer now which is a bonus :blush:

Aye I need to find a walk with a waterfall where I can sit and have a coffee and just take in my surroundings :blush:

I don’t think I’ve ever loved myself but I’m ok with that. It’s easier for me to love others and help them when needed.

I did think of posting this on the rant page but it’s more of a murmur than a rant.

Thanks Jo :blush: hope you’re ok

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You’re very welcome @Amunique :hugs:

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A lot of good points raised - keep looking in the positive and look at what you got in your life and do not focus on the negatives

Take care you got a lot of support here

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Thanks @spanking_for_fun, I usually am a positive person, just having a few off days :hugs: everyone on here is so supportive and I appreciate that loads. Hope you have a lovely day :blush:

Having seen your pics you shouldn’t be feeling ugly or lacking confidence. I think everyone feels a bit lost sometimes. Hopefully with spring around the corner some nice walks and sunshine will lift you up. :hugs::hugs::hugs:


I am so sorry to hear you are feeling that way @Amunique I have always been very pleased to read your posts and photos. you are a wonderful lady who has a fantastic figure and a beautiful body. Could it be a time of year thing, cold, dark days but think to yourself brighter days and evening will soon be with us and everyone here is very supportive. Hang on in there x

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Thanks @WillC, I deleted my pics yesterday as I just don’t know what I’m doing anymore. Maybe sunny days are all I need , thanks again, have a lovely day :blush:

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Thanks @steve19, my photos are gone as I didn’t see what you all see and don’t know where i’m going or what I’m doing. I’m hoping it’s just the cold and dark mornings that have led to this. Everyone is very supportive on the forum and I love that. Think I’m going to take the weekend off of all social media and just pack my bag, grab my tent and go, even if it’s just down the beach, I can watch the world go by :blush:thanks again, hope you’re ok x


Take care, hope you feel better soon.

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Thought I would say that there is a lovely community on here which I didn’t expect. Thank you for supporting @Amunique and the words you have shared, they will resonate with many including myself.


I’m sorry you’re feeling this way @Amunique. I feel very similar. I’ve not got a magic wand unfortunately, although I wish I had! I hope you have a lovely weekend, it sounds like a good idea to me. If you’re not feeling like wearing your lingerie or using your toys, don’t throw them all out, put them away and see how you feel in a few weeks / months time. I find that things go in cycles, I haven’t used many of my toys for a while now because I haven’t felt in the mood to play but this has happened before and it does eventually pass. Sending hugs :people_hugging: :hugs: