Sorry for negative/weird post and really hope I don't pass on icky feelings but I've been feeling 'off' since last night.
So I'd been feeling turned on pretty much all day and by the time I went to bed I had read about 6 trashy erotic fanfics (a 'guilty' pleaure). Despite feeling horny the solo session was 'different' it took quite a while to cum but was fairly intense when I did.
Maybe it's down to bad timing but in that after time when all desire has completely gone I was scrolling through tmblr and someone I follow who usually re-blogs explicit art among other stuff had put that they were having trouble maintaining their blog, they couldn't read fanfics anymore and nsfw artwork was making them feel uncomfortable.
I don't know why but I suddenly felt, not guilty, but certainly negative with myself, almost repulsed and like no more desire, like a flame has gone out. I'm used to that straight after but usually passes quickly.
It sounds so silly, I don't know why this has triggered this, for the last year or so I've been a nearly ever day kind of girl. Have I pushed myself too far? Is my brain telling me to step back a notch? As I say maybe it was just bad timing but why do the things I was enjoying a lot (fanfics, explicit art, feeling turned on, experimenting etc) suddenly make me feel icky? I've never felt any guilt about getting pleasure from toys so I'm struggling to understand what this is. Maybe I just need confirmation that I'm perfectly normal? I don't know.