what are your experiences of female control ? I want her to be more in control and tie me up or make me do the ironing while wearign her dirty knickers
Anyone else done this?
My wife likes to dress up but then make me wait till she decides I am allowed anything. Must say I do like her being in control. Also she has whips and paddles if I step out of line.
I think female domination is a common fantasy but you obviously need to discuss it as it may not be her cup of tea.
we have a paddle and i bought a mouth gag but she doe snot want me to have this on
stressedmale82 wrote:
we have a paddle and i bought a mouth gag but she doe snot want me to have this on
These are things you need to communicate about, it's not a great idea to buy something and just expect your OH to be happy with it and do something. When you have spoken to her about what you like, what she likes, what each of you are happy to try etc then it's best to ease into something. Going straight to a gag could be daunting and scary for her even if it's you using it. If it's something she's happy to dabble into but is still slightly unsure then start very mild. Just with you laying on the bed and her teasing you, then go into blindfolding, tieing hands. and work your way up as lang as both of you are happy and comfortable.
I sometimes be in control with hubby handcuffs blindfolded are good ways. Using bed restraints and massage oils or massage candles can also help. Also you doing a tease whilst restrained to make a longer experience are all things I would suggest
stressedmale82 wrote:
what are your experiences of female control ? I want her to be more in control and tie me up or make me do the ironing while wearign her dirty knickers
Anyone else done this?
It is a tricky one to get your head around if you aren’t used to the idea of dominating someone, especially with the added kink-factors that you refer to. If she isn’t up for the whole bells and whistles, what about just asking her to boss you about a bit when you are together at home? Once she has got her confidence up a bit by being in control of you verbally, she might feel comfortable with the idea of dominating you physically.
I am trying this at the moment, but from the perspective of a woman who would like to dominate her partner, but he likes being in control, so I’m doing this ‘softly softly’ approach rather than launching straight for the props. Currently I boss him about and if he does or says anything to displease me, he knows he will get a hard slap on the rump at best, and a full on pinching, nibbling, feral attack that will result in him on the floor at worst.
Best of luck, I hope you both can find some mutually enjoyable middle ground with this.
stressedmale82 wrote:
what are your experiences of female control ? I want her to be more in control and tie me up or make me do the ironing while wearign her dirty knickers
Anyone else done this?
I think you are approaching this from the wrong end. You have talked about what you want, and the things you have bought that you want used on you, but you haven't mentioned anything about what she wants, what she enjoys, what feels good to her etc.
I am a female dominant and it's a fundamental part of who I am. Nobody made me this way - this is the way my sexuality is wired. If your partner was a natural domme then you would probably know all about it by this stage, so this obviously isn't a natural role for her. That doesn't mean she can't still enjoy playing the part from time to time however, as long as you understand that it's something that she has to be getting something out of as well.
You need to use your words and communicate with her, and make sure you listen to what she says as well. You can say "I would find it super hot if you did this" or "I've always wanted to try you being in control" and then ask how that would make her feel. You need to discuss boundaries of what you're both comfortable with and then stick to them rigidly. Don't come across as too needy or demanding - she might need to take baby steps to see what she is and isn't comfortable with, and she might well grow into the role and flourish in it given time.
Or she might not, and that's something you need to accept. She might simply not be into it, in which case you need to respect her wishes and consider paying to see a pro domme instead.
stressedmale82 wrote:
we have a paddle and i bought a mouth gag but she doe snot want me to have this on
A good place to start would be to suggest shopping for toys together, rather than springing a surprise on her. Going through all the items on LH, reading the reviews and having a gigle over them could help you figure out what you both do and don't like. It's also a perfect way to start conversations about potential roleplay scenarios, and how you would both feel using the items.
Again, if she flat out says she does not want anything to do with gags then that's something you need to respect.
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Hi I love my lady’s freinds to be in charged then no it makes a nice changed for them to say what and how things are love to be dress up as there sexy bitch nurse maid love the fill of it think they love giving it hard let me know what it feel like
I love being in control and my so prefers it too. I think you can have so much more fun with it too, in my experiences anyways. Maybe it’s just I’ve got a much more wild and creative mind than my partner but for us it always works better having me in control.
An ex girlfriend used to call me a wimp because I refused to treat her roughly. Another ex used to dominate me, & if I answered back or stood my ground she would go into one, or threaten to dump me. I try to be neutral.
Knight1119 wrote:
An ex girlfriend used to call me a wimp because I refused to treat her roughly. Another ex used to dominate me, & if I answered back or stood my ground she would go into one, or threaten to dump me. I try to be neutral.
Crikey mate neither of those situations sound particularly sexy or fun: were they for you? I like to think of the whole control thing as something to add a bit of spark to a sexual relationship, yours sound a bit more serious and generally not particularly pleasant. Do please correct me if I’m reading too much into your post, I kind of hope I have. 😕
Thanks Gosig, neither of those were pleasant relationships. Another ex called me a sick pervert for gently asking her if she would facesit on me. Sorry for rambling on.
Knight1119 wrote:
An ex girlfriend used to call me a wimp because I refused to treat her roughly. Another ex used to dominate me, & if I answered back or stood my ground she would go into one, or threaten to dump me. I try to be neutral.
It always should be a two way thing no-one should be forced into a dominating role if they are not comfortable with it. As with everything communication and discussing limits is the most important thing. Hope you are in a more balanced situation now.
Thanks Amy. Sadly in my current relationship we haven’t had sex for a long time.
Hi love you girls in charged love being dress up for you 😎any one else like that
Always wanted to be dominated by the OH and have asked and suggested many times but very often to no avail. I am usually in charge in the bedroom and instigate so every now and then I get a real urge just to be taken control of and used.
Yea is really nice to be the one on the end of it love it x
I'm not too bothered about being in charge of my OH, for some reason it doesn't really do it for me??
I love being a sub and get more of a sexual, intense thrill out of that.
Maybe the worm will turn one day...? Until then, I'm well happy with my very own 'Mr Grey'! x
Yummy times! 😜
BTW loving the sound comments from 'Lady Bella'. Excellent thoughts and input! 😉 🌹