First date, at 40...

That's quite a thread title eh! :)

I have only had three relationships, the first was with a girl I knew from school. We had lived in the same village for years but it was only after we left school that we got together. Point being though we knew each other before, so there was never really any first date.

Second was a woman I worked with, so again we were friends first and things evolved.

Third was a close friend for years, someone who knew things with number two were not going well and who kept her distance until I moved. I had known her for years by the time we got together.

So here I sit, at my age. For the first time in my life I have asked someone out who I had never known before.

How exciting! It's a totally different world. I was with my ex-partner for 5 years and we met at school where things just kind of happened without any dating. So I'm now 23 and have just started going on proper 'dates' which is quite exciting! It's different to when things naturally evolve, but I think the golden rule for me personally is that it should be easy, natural and if I feel awkward it's not right.

Good luck and enjoy it!

Lovehoney - Lucy wrote:

How exciting! It's a totally different world. I was with my ex-partner for 5 years and we met at school where things just kind of happened without any dating. So I'm now 23 and have just started going on proper 'dates' which is quite exciting! It's different to when things naturally evolve, but I think the golden rule for me personally is that it should be easy, natural and if I feel awkward it's not right.

Good luck and enjoy it!

just be natural and friendly not over pushy, eager or flirtatious. Make sure you do as much listening as talking. good luck

I don't think my flirtatious nature has a down control! But I shall bear the rest in mind. lol x

good for you, just be yourself, sometimes not trying too hard, taking it a little slower, helps to make things work better, all the best,

Just turned 30 and my first 'date' was a few months ago. I've had plenty of relationships but they've all been people I've known who I've kinda hooked up with naturally and things have gone from there.

I was very nervous but am fairly comfortable in myself so figured I'd go out, have a drink, see how we got on, and it could go one of three ways -

1/ didn't feel right and we didn't get on - therefore no loss, leave when ready (politely obviously) and don't worry about it.

2/ you get on but it doesn't click. Hey, how cool is that - you just made a new friend! ok not what you were hoping for but that's great.

3/ there's something there. If that's the case you can be yourself because if it works it works.

Also remember that anyone going on a date WANTS to like you. It's not up to you to somehow trick them in to it, it's not like you're on show and need to hit a certain score. Be yourself and if they don't like you that way then you've not lost anything.

have fun, you can meet some great people and it gets much easier after the first one to go and ask someone out again.

Thanks both :)

Go, be yourself and enjoy x

Have great time on your first date! Good luck!

i hope you have fun on your date Noon and from what ive seen you don't look 40

I don't, I look great lol

Seriously, thank you *blush*

I was 38 when I found myself on the dating scene not having a clue, all I can say from that experience, without boring you with a million stories, is trust your instinct and go with what your gut says, trust your first impressions and listen to that voice in your head ;) I ignored my instinct too many times and it came back and bit me on the arse just once too often and I finally learned to trust myself, when alarm bells rang or I just didn't feel 'it', to believe in myself and walk away.

Another useful piece of advice is that on a first date all you are trying to do is see if you want a second date or that the person wants a second date with you, not be planning the weddings and home decorations ;) Take the pressure off yourself about whether or not this person may be suitable for a relationship, just ask yourself whether you want to see them a second time :)

Good luck and enjoy x

urg I hate dating :( I wish a boyfriend would just magically appear at the stage of all the good stuff ie after the arkward stuff but before you realise how shit they are lol

That said as a necessary evil they can be fun.

I don't have much advice other than just be yourself, and aviod freaking the other person out by coming on too strong (which I'm sure you know/won't do).

But I just really wanted to wish you good luck! Getting back on the dating scene is very very good, and I'm extremely pleased for you! Hope it goes well, and most of all enjoy it! Dating is daunting, but it can be fun. :)

Thanks all xxxx

Looking forward to it so much :)