There’s no rush to work it out. There’s no right time to start masterbating. I was about 20 I think. Start by finding out what areas feel nice when you touch them. I would start with touching through clothing, light circles through knickers around the clitoris is a winner for me even now or soft brushing across the nipples.
If you aren’t mentally relaxed or aroused, trying to insert anything is going to be uncomfortable and touching your clitoris is much more pleasant when you’re aroused. Could you try reading some romance novels or find a sex scene in another type of novel if you’re not into romance? Plenty of options in the library! I would suggest online erotic fiction or porn but that’s a bit more difficult when you’re living at home in a shared room. If you can get yourself aroused mentally, you should find touch more pleasurable and less weird.
I’m 59. I’m still discovering new things every day. Everybody here has a different range and area of experience and we all learn from each other. We’re all still figuring it out too. Don’t beat yourself up
There’s no rush. No pressure. Be kind to yourself and enjoy your body. Its all yours to do with as you like.
@Lovehoney_Brenna is right in that so much of it is in your head. While many of us can bash out a bully/utility wank when we have to, the reality is we generally have to be in the mood.
Some times that can be spontaneous, and other times you have to plan it. You can think about it all day. Get yourself excited ( there’s a few women on here who write some very spicy blogs you might like to read and this thread may be useful ) then take time to really explore and focus on how it feels.
If you’re still early in your journey then perhaps you don’t need a toy yet. I might get banned from the forum for suggesting such a thing but perhaps you’d benefit just from some massage oil or lube ( I’m testing Liquid Silk and as a long lasting lube I’m really impressed ) and your hands. Maybe thats all the stimulation you need. Its quiet and you can explore and work out what works for you and where you might eventually enjoy a toy. That’ll help you narrow it down.
Learning and experimenting is part of the fun and hopefully something you’ll never stop doing.
Is there any times of the day you’d get the bedroom to yourself as the other persons out maybe? If not, I would say bathroom, hopefully there is a lock so you’re not disturbed?
Being so new in your journey towards self pleasure, you still have so much time to discover what you do and don’t like and experimenting with toys along the way.
If privacy is a real concern then learning to stimulate yourself might be the best place to start. In the shower or bath start touching your different erogonous zones and discover what does and doesn’t feel good. You have to take the time to learn your body. You can’t hope to feel immense pleasure/orgasm immediately. If you take away the expectation and enjoy the journey you will become more in tune. Fingers for internal and external stimulation. You could even try grinding against something like a pillow to feel that external stimulation.
There is not many toys that are virtually silent (dildos excluded) that you could use in a shared room. Even using something like fingers or a dildo would not really be advisable in a shared space given there may still be noises (your breathing sounds changing, bed creaking etc) that may be inappropriate/uncomfortable for the other person/people in the room. Once you have a bit more privacy, there are so many great toys already suggested. I love Brenna’s suggestion, it looks just like a USB so quite discreet!
Just reading your comment re porn made me think of a possible educational tool: @Caseymyers if you can find opportunity and have web access on your phone go onto xvideos and search either “Ersties” or “yanks”. These channels feature female produced videos of women masturbating in different fashions. It’s not pure smut and focused on more natural, realistic depictions of female masturbation and pleasure. If you have a smartphone with web access or data plan, and can privately browse, it may be worth checking out if you can find a private moment to do so and are comfortable with explicit content. Maybe have a soak in the bath and bring your phone in with you. Prop it up safely in a spot close to the tub, search what I suggested and find a video that may catch your interest. Turn sound down to a volume where others in the house won’t hear. Get comfortable and pay attention to how the woman in the video touches herself. It may be good to see how another woman pleasures herself and mimic it yourself while having a “bath”. Trying different things will help you start learning your body.
Just a thought. Also I suggest searching Scarlett Teen. They are a great site for sexual health and sexuality info including lots of information in self pleasure. They have forums to read and ask questions and chat support services if you have questions. They are great folks.
So many helpful notes. Thank you all for being so supportive. I don’t know what is tmi here but I had a super interesting shower this morning. Starting to learn more so thank you!
Would highly recommend a wand as it can be used for solo or partner play, mains powered toys are always one of mine and my husbands go to! If you are wanting penetration too then you cant go too far wrong with a rabbit vibrator
There is no rush, just take your time, you will find your thing and it doesn’t have to be conventional, my first experience was with a fish tank air pump , and I’m a man I am also a bit odd
