I thought I’d start a topic on stories of people first realising their kinky fantasies and playing with a partner for the first time. I don’t necessarily want to know about all the detail (although by all means feel free to!) but more about how you went about discussing it with your partner and those first initial steps etc.
Mine was quite uncontroversial - after a few months together I gently asked on text whether she’d like to try a blindfold and some handcuffs. First on her but then as the name suggests onto me. I then began made it clear as we became more comfortable with eachother it’s myself who enjoys being the ‘sub’. Still learning but I’m realising fantasies I thought would only ever be consigned to my mind and it’s a lovely feeling.
I too was exactly the same as you! Started off by talking to my wife about handcuffs, blindfolds, sensual deprivation etc but she’s not so keen on it herself. As much as I would like to try it on her, we’ve both realised that I’m very much a sub! And she’s very much a Dom. We realised this when I asked to be tied to the bed, and worked on really slowly. She came into the room in a very tight outfit, with heels, stockings and dark lipstick. I didn’t realise how much I was into it until that moment!!
It’s great fun when you talk about your fantasies in a safe environment and it comes to life!
Sounds great @James89 - similar to me as you say! dd you find your partner was happy to indulge you?
There’s still stuff I’d be interested/ curious in trying but don’t want to spoil what we’ve built up. Last few weeks have been really good for us. Maybe it’s reading this forum!
Totally! She really came into her own. That’s what was so great about it - seeing her so confident!
I didn’t even ask her to be like that! We chatted about it afterwards are were really happy we found something like that we’re both really comfortable with.
Obviously I’d quite like to take it to another level but one thing I’ve learnt is to take things step by step and not rush with my wife. Throw the odd seed out there, and at some point it happens to some extent. All the while enjoying the new moments we have together! I’m loving it too so just like you, again, I wouldn’t want to ruin the flow we have.
I’d quite like her to try wearing latex clothing, not full on body suits (I find that a bit too much) but the strong, bossy look is right up my street. Not sure she’ll be into it at the moment so that’ll be my next step.
So for me I started to have fantasies about it when I was watching 50 shades, from there I started looking at cuffs and other things online and even ordered a pair. Around that time my OH and I met and we very early in started talking sex and kink related stuff came up. So the fantasies about it were swirling, when my cuffs arrived(red and black lace ones from lovehoney) I put them on and oh boy was it heaven. Feeling them against my skin tight and even struggling against them a bit was just oh so right.
So when the OH and I met and we admittedly ended up making out and having sex we broke out the cuffs and some other stuff and I knew this was for me and well him too. In terms of sub or dom were both switches so we get to enjoy both sides.
Sounds great James. My OH loves being the dominant but then sometimes likes more vanilla play which I’m happy to indulge her in!
Re the clothing, completely each to their own but I got my OH some faux leather outfit for a weekend away and nervously presented her with it prefaced it with “if you don’t like it or don’t want to then please don’t and it won’t be a problem ” - thankfully she loved wearing it despite feeling a bit nervous beforehand!
Our first time we really played with kink was quite the bumbling / humourous affair.
We had just started to get into sex toys and decided we’d try a bondage session, we had purchased some under bed restraints, a blindfold, a fifty shades flogger and fifty shades feather tickler. I also decided to add a wooden spoon from the kitchen for good measure. We spent the first hour or so taking turns at being restrained whilst the other started exploring with implements. No real “structure” and neither of us really hit hard with anything, but we spent most of the day doing various activities.
I do remember bringing Mrs Sen to 3 orgasms with a vibrator while she was performing oral on me, that was the first time I had really seen her cum multiple times and I found it a massive turn on. Was also the first time I opened up about enjoying anal penetration (me receiving). She also allowed some anal play on her and she confessed to quite enjoying DP with a vibrator.
We don’t get the opportunity much with x2 hermit teenagers in the house, but do relish the opportunity
Myself and my partner met on a kink site where our roles were front and centre on our profiles, so that made everything really easy, that was 9 years ago now!
I’m not actually sure how we came round to discussing it or bringing it up. I’ve always (as far as I can remember) been into kink and had a few toys such as restraints. So I’m guessing they were discussed early on.
Admittedly though, discussions about pegging have only been recent.
About 40 years ago my girlfriend at the time who was a super busty biker gal told me to strip and lay on the bed . She tied me to her bed and blindfolded me . OMG ! I almost came by the time she finished tying me up . Then let the games begin , I was in heaven for several hours . That really kick started my interest .
I was thinking earlier, A regret of mine when I was much younger was when a partner of mine made a risqué comment about S/M and I for some reason panicked and feigned ignorance, I think not to make her think I was into anything ‘weird’, then she panicked and we never discussed it again and never dabbled at all. Looking back it’s a regret of mine as I think it’ll have been great but fortunately I made the decision to make sure it doesn’t happen with my current partner.
It’s an interesting comment. I found out about BDSM as a teenager (dodgy late night satellite TV) way before that became mainstream. But I do think stuff like 50 shades has probably subconsciously made me feel more at ease with sharing it with my partner.
When we first started to have sex it was vanilla, and I brought up about using cuffs during sex, it was a lot of fun. One night while I was giving him a blowjob he was running his hands over my bum and I said to him spank it, I started to moan so he started to spank me harder, we started to introduce new things into our sex life, toys, lingerie, bondage, and now it’s totally amazing, he’s taken on the dominant role and me the submissive role. I absolutely love being dominated, such a turn on.
I had a girlfriend many years back in university who was to be honest a bit of a kinky thing. She liked me hogtying her, gagging and blindfolding her, sometimes earplugs. I’d tie her and then she liked to be left a while, every so often I’d pop back to the bedroom and do what I liked to her before leaving again, she was very much the submissive and into the being used and degraded.
Then life moved on, we left university etc and I forgot about the kinky side of things a bit (though the interest always remained).
Years later I met my now wife and one evening we were watching some trash telly after a hard week at work and one of these pervy documentaries came on (it had to be good old C4 didn’t it!) about swingers. One of the anonymous female interviewees recounted some experience at a sex party where she was blindfolded and had several men use and abuse her.
This sparked a conversation about our histories and any kinky stuff and my wife (then girlfriend) said she’d like to try some of that sort of thing so we did.
A while later we’d worked through a few things and experimented a bit, we both concluded that pain and the really degrading stuff wasn’t for us and we didn’t want to involve other people but we do both now really enjoy blindfolds, various gags, some restraints, slutty / sexy lingerie. Wife also likes a bit of anal / buttplugs and cosplay too.
