Gaping!

I absolutely love anal gaping! I love watching porn that is filled with gaping scenes. I also love it when I gape. When I have a good session with some of my bigger toys, I sometimes gape for days after. The largest circumference dildo I have is 8.5". I want to work up to the biggest available, about 12 - 13 inch circumference. My biggest concern is gaping so much might make me have incontinence issues. Does anyone have much experience with this kind of thing. If so, would you share your experiences please? :)